Author Topic: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged  (Read 58216 times)

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Offline Purplekali

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #75 on: November 06, 2013, 07:38:55 am »
*strong* reaction not sting

Offline aarden

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #76 on: December 09, 2013, 13:55:50 pm »
I have been trying with my 6, nearly 7 week old.

the patting and shushing does not calm her, I've tried patting bottom, back, with the shush, without it, rubbing back, it doesn't make a difference as to what i do, the only thing that calms her is me holding her to my neck, which I have done whilst trying all the variations. Variations in wind down does not make a difference either.

We have only ever had one nap in the cot using short wind down, rub back, and then back in after 40 mins with hand on back to take through to next sleep cycle. I think it only worked as i held her until she was half asleep- she cries, suddenly stops and then i put in cot after 30 seconds with eyes shut but some wiggling in cot.

Can someone tell me what to expect as I've tried for about 15-20 naps since 1 week old, not consistently, all other naps times are pram or sling with lots of walking. A time is not the issue and neither is stimulation from my observations although OT and OS make it worse.

Today i've tried from first nap (8am wind down) to 1pm with progressively harder crying and only x1 10 min light sleep, and x1 20 min light sleep. I've fed every 2 hrs as a consequence.

I will not do this for bed time. We wash, feed in room, and put down in cot, she happily drifts off after around 40 mins. My 3 year old is distressed by the crying and it disturbs her going to sleep.

Is it worth pursuing if it shh pat shows no signs of working? Do i need to commit to doing it all day with hard crying all day, until she is exhausted?

Did anybody's babies just grow out of the need for pram and sling sleeping after a few or several months?

Offline Girlcrystal

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #77 on: December 17, 2013, 17:45:33 pm »
I didn't read all the other stories but my son is now 8.5 months. He was colicky, and had reflux. From week 2 on he never slept more than 25 minutes at a time except nighttime but it would take about 3-4 hrs to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep. From either 10 or 12 weeks I started implementing EASY and using the shh pat. EASY was really hard for probably close to 2 months as his sleep was so off and his routine had many extra As and some extra Es from him getting hungry from all the crying.
I must have sat in his room in the dark for close to 3 weeks to a month during nap time to get SHH PAT to really work well. Probably after 2 weeks his crying was not near as strong or as long. His naps were still short that was why I think it took to long. But in retrospect now I believe my son was chronically Overtired.

Anyways I am so so so so HAPPY that I found the shh pat. I still use it but in different variations. I rarely pat or shh I just lay a hand on my son's back when he is struggling and it usually calms him.

I also found that sometimes I struggled more with the naps with the shh pat, but once my son was used to it, when he awoke at night it was a life saver. To go in a pat for 5 minutes vs spending 30-45 minutes trying to get him to fall back to sleep was so much nicer. Same when he woke up after being put to bed, it was nice to get him back to sleep quickly so then I could spend time with my husband.

It is really hard at first, you really need to dedicate time to it. I brought my phone in the room with me and would check my emails etc. while I was patting to give me something to get my mind off of it.

Also the other big thing is once your daughter is asleep is to keep doing it for like 20-25 minutes until they pass the jerk that wakes them up.

I think at first you have to be very very consistent and always do same wind down routine then lay in cot etc. and stand back and wait and if they start to cry do the ssh pat. Do you think you are shhhing loud enough?? The shhhh definitely helped my son, and when he was older, I would say, "your okay, your fine, you are just tired." or "calm down, calm down" all while patting.

Also I would pat quite strongly and quickly with loud shhh and once my son calmed down I would slow the pat, making it softer and soften my voice. I always ended the shh pat by slowing the pat to almost nothing then just very lightly laying my hand on back. If baby would start to move or fuss at all I would gently start to pat always matching their intensity of their cries.

The only thing I may have done different, is that my son slept on his tummy so it made the shh pat very easy. I am not sure works wonders if the baby is only 6 weeks old as there sleep pattern still has no routine yet but I know that I know I would probably be bald and divorced (lol) if I had never found it!!

Offline MamaBrown

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #78 on: April 27, 2015, 11:58:32 am »
Hi there!!

Keep at it, it really does work! It's so easy to get discouraged - I started on my 5 week old on Friday night. It took 90 minutes for DS to finally go to sleep. That was the longest 90 minutes of my life but I kept reminding myself that once I had broken the first night, it was going to get much easier. And it did! The next time I only had to do it for under 30 minutes and yesterday was only 8 minutes.

Stay strong!

Offline mulvia

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #79 on: December 16, 2015, 13:41:37 pm »
Hello and big hugs from me as well! I also learnt about the BW when my LO was about 6 weeks, and I so wished I'd read the book during pregnancy! Before that I suppose I just fed my DS to sleep, but also it was hard not to as he seemed to be feeding ALL THE TIME..big baby. :) Anyway, when we learnt about EASY and shh/pat things definitely improved, however the average 20 minutes for us were about 40.. Sometimes he seemed to go off quicker and I would wait the whole 20 minutes just in case, and of course he'd wake 10 minutes after...to date he's a short napper most times (he's turning 6 months).
We did however find a bit of a different way that worked for us, and still needs to be tweaked in time: for example, holding him too much never worked so we did shh/pat only in the cot, and didn't pat his back as he sleeps on it, instead I patted lightly on his chest mimicking a heartbeat. Sometimes he would instead get worked up with that, and a round stroking of the belly would do the trick. Nowadays shhh/pat doesn't work too well as Tracy suggested would be the case around 6 months, and I instead whisper the same words (relaaax and close your eeeyes) in a sort of hypnotic mantra and keep a hand on him until his eyes are closing. So, it works but as you will read everywhere every baby is different so go ahead and try little changes, you will find what's right for you! :)

Offline ireneasheard

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #80 on: June 06, 2016, 11:07:26 am »
Thanks for posting this thread. My touchy baby has been super touchy this week post illness. Tonight I was struggling to settle babe and after trying for ages I left him with DH and read this thread. Back in I went, turned up some white noise and simply sat and patted his bottom until he finally calmed down. He then nuzzled me for a feed which I gave (he was tired and now hungry from crying). Fed him. Calmed. Put into cot awake. Immediately calmer and ready to settle. Still working on consistency but babe needs me to hold and shh pat at the moment and working on transferring patting to cot as illness has thrown him. He isn't as easy as my first textbook baby but this thread on shhh pat helped me. Thanks for posting and pinning this.
DS 1: Textbook baby, February 2012. Kind and loving big brother to...
DS 2: Textbook (with a little touchy) baby, April 2016. My smallest and dearest bear.

Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #81 on: June 07, 2016, 15:31:05 pm »
Lovely to hear that this thread was helpful and sh-pat worked for you too
Xxx
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline TuntunsMommy

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #82 on: July 08, 2016, 09:55:58 am »
Hi there, thanks for all of your sharing, they give me hope and encouragement so I would love to give it a serious try for couple weeks but have a big question. Could the 4S work WITHOUT the swaddle ?  I know that its is extremely importany, buy sorry to say that we do not use swaddle here (for couple reasons).
Just a brief on my ritual for LO's sleep (but not consistent): when I see his first yawn ( around 10mins wake after 8 mins bf - hes getting close to week 5), I would hold him, hum a song then he fall asleep a couple mins later IN MY ARMS; I hold him a little longer then put him down to sleep and do some sh-pat to make sure he sleep well. It know it sounds ridiculous, what I am doing I basically not the 4S ritual given by Tracy: I dont uae swaddle and I put him down sleepING in stead of sleepY.
Well, quite wordy, but what I am trying to say is that whether swaddling is a MUST for 4S? If it is, I will find an alternative sleeping method (actually I am also using some props i.e hammock, bf). If there is a way for it without the swaddle thing, I will make a commitment to seriously stick to the 4S.

Offline ireneasheard

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Re: pat/shh success stories PLEASE POST, really discouraged
« Reply #83 on: July 10, 2016, 05:13:44 am »
You don't have to do anything. It is recommended to swaddle as the flailing arms and startle reflex starts becoming more obvious as babies grow but aren't in control yet so scratch their faces or smack themselves in the face and wake themselves up! It's up to you, do what works for you I say. My babies have been swaddled since birth, first until close to 6 months, the 2nd is 3.5 months and I have him in a love to dream swaddle as he comforts himself with his hands (my first didn't, he was still flailing around a bit at same stage!)
DS 1: Textbook baby, February 2012. Kind and loving big brother to...
DS 2: Textbook (with a little touchy) baby, April 2016. My smallest and dearest bear.