27-month old suddenly afraid at night

[aidenmc]

Hi there,

We spent a long time working on Aiden's sleep and he had been a consistently good night sleeper for months (naps have been on and off). Four nights ago he woke in the night and cried really hard. DH went in (he is the first line of defense as Aiden doesn't like me to leave the room once I have gone in). Anyway, he would not settle and seemed very panicked. He also had a cold which is still bothering him, so he could not breathe well.
Anyway, that night I had to stay and pat his bum to get him to settle back to sleep. When he woke in the morning it was the same panicky kind of cry. Usually in the past we have been able to help him back to sleep when sick and he could go back to being independent without much trouble. Not this time. The next night I put him to bed (DH usually does but was out). Everything was fine until I left the room. Then he started with the tears. It wasn't just protest or whining. He was truly upset. After trying to settle him from outside of the room I ended up going and patting again. We thought this was because I put him down and he is much more likely to protest when when I do it. But then next night it was the same again when DH put him down. Tonight he started getting upset towards the end of the before bed routine and DH ended up staying in the room until he was asleep. We talked to him about it and he says he is scared. After the many many months of night trouble we dread things sliding back to where they were. Any ideas?

[Layla]

It sounds like something has genuinely scared him or he may have had a bad nightmare & is not associating that with bedtime.

How is he during the day? Have you tried asking him what he is scared of?

We went through a stage where Isabella got scared & was petrified to go to sleep as well or even be in her bed.

This is a link to another post where I wrote down what helped us help her with her anxieties
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=101341.0

Layla

[aidenmc]

Well, he has been more clingy insome ways. He often wants to be carried when we are outside, but at other times he will run around on his own. He has had a string of colds and stomach flu this fall and must be on his 4th cold in 2 months. So he is congetsed and has a cough. His eyes looked a little swollen and red underneath yesterday. At school they say he is a little hyper but will have periods of being lethargic. He has been napping this week (about 1.5 hrs) which is good because often he won't there. So...I think he is under the weather but he does not usually react this way.

He does seem more frightened of things. He woke this morning at 6 and cried hard again. He is fine once I get him out of bed.Both boys were up early so I let them watch a little TV. He came in my room saying he was scared of the monkey (Curious George).  He has been saying he is scared of the dark so tonight I gave him a little nightlight and a flashlight (which eventually became a toy so I removed it) and lots of 'friends' in his bed but he started getting upset before I even had the lights off. I left the room briefly but he was beside himself. So I ended up going in and sitting silent beside his bed. I told I couldn't pat his bum (that is what he asked for) and he was fine as long as I sat there. The thing is, it was over and hour before he was asleep and I did cave in and pat his bun for teh lst 5 minutes just to get him off to sleep. His 7-year old brother had been waiting alone for almost 1.5 hours as dh is away this weekend. I am tempted just to pat him until dh gets home because I know he will sleep faster with it. It's not like he was engaging me or anything and he was very calm, but it was just too long tonight! I will definitely check out that link.

[First Time Mom]

My dd went through this exact thing at 21 months, I figured she was too young to be afraid of the dark and tried wi/wo and gradual removal. It was suddenly taking her an hour and longer to fall asleep and she'd FREAK if dh or I wasn't in the room. I decided to try and leave a brighter light on (chandeleir is on a dimmer switch- put it on at 50%) and let her pick 2 books to take to bed with her and suddenly I was able to leave the room as soon as I put her down, no tears, no screaming. She knows what shadows are and seems scared of them too so I found the original low night light made things worse. I recently confirmed that she does indeed have a fear of the dark as during a story time at the library the reader turned off the lights and dd clung with fear for those few seconds.

[aidenmc]

I might try something like that. I feel like we have regressed so much in a few short days. He took so long to go to sleep last night then woke at 1:40 with a nightmare then at 5:30 for the day. He hasn't been up that early for ages. Today's nap I patted him to make sure he got some sleep. He just woke after 1.5 hrs and I patted him back to sleep. I know it is a slippery slope with the patting. It can be used occasionally, but I suspect he may start demanding it once we get this fear issue sorted out. If I don't have to be in the room I would be more accepting of him taking so long to fall asleep!