Support and Chat thread for moms of early waking toddlers

[Aly Mac]

thanks  - so weird, I spent so much time extending her 45min naps...now we are there I need to shorten them!! it's hard for me to do i must say.


so basically A times of 4hr, 3hr, 4hr...i was doing 3, 4, 3.5....

will give it a go next week.

[**Clare**]

I was going to join you ladies... but think I may just turn and run away and hoped not to have jinxed myself!!! LOL Harvey is 2 and a half and wakes at 6.45... I thought THAT was early!! LOL

I think I will join though as bedtime is 8pm and Id like it earlier, more like half 7 but dont want for him to wake any earlier so not sure what to do.....

Was thinking of very gradually bringing the bedtime back and seeing what happens? Im sure he needs more sleep especially if he hasn't had much in the day.

[debo620]

Aly Mac, yup basically, but hopefullu the morning A time will shorten when the wake-up time and night goes back to 11hrs.

[Layla]

Clare - Isabella has started waking up at 5.30am again (whereas before it was 6am)! Is Harvey sleeping at all during the day? Does he seem to fall asleep straight away at 8pm or still plays around a bit... it might help take an av of how much sleep he needs over a couple of days so that you can play with nap length & maybe bring the bedtime forward...

Isabella only seems to need about 11.5hrs of sleep . I also don't know what to do but I am willing to experiment over the next few weeks to get it right cause I really don't like these early wakings. We haven't had them over a year! On the days she naps I try to limit it to 1hr & then bedtime is 7pm. She's asleep at around 7.30-7.40 but seems to only do 10.5hrs. On the days she doesn't nap I put her down at 6pm but unlike before where she would do 12hrs she seems to only do 11.5hrs & wakes at 5.30am. I know we're in a tough place at the moment because she's in the middle of dropping her nap & I just can't seem to work out how much sleep she really needs but I think her bedtime is actually too early on the days she naps & maybe thats why she's waking up earlier. So today she's not napping & I want to try & hold her off until 6.30pm to see when she'll wake.

So it seems like Harvey is also doing about 10.5hrs at night so in your case I would probably say an earlier bedtime is going to give you an earlier wake up time... i think if you want an earlier bedtime then you might try shorten a nap (if there is one) or no nap.

Sorry if I'm confusing you.... I feel like a detective trying to work out sleep needs, etc... I was sure she would stay at 12hrs but heck its going down again 

[LisaM]

Hi everyone

I used to post a bit on the early waking for babies and so its time I joined in over here.  We have a very early waker.  She is 14 months now and has been waking between 3.30-4.30 most days for absolutely months now!  I have tried really early bedtimes, later bedtimes etc but nothing has helped so far.  She now goes to bed most nights at 6am and only seems to need about 10 hrs at night (not sure if she is just stuck at the wake up times or only needs 10 hrs sleep) so thats why we tried later bedtimes to see if she might at least wake at 5am not 4am, however, it made it worse because she still woke 4ish and then was only getting 9 hrs sleep!!  She still has 2 naps a day, cannot see a time when we can get by on just one, mostly they are 1 hrs each but we still do have some 30 mins from time to time.  She has always been a problem about taking later afternoon naps so most days her second nap is about 1 - 1.30pm.  This is typical day:

Wake 4am - (we do feed her now - this was an attempt to get her back off to sleep which did used to work but most days doesn't now and so probably have created a problem with that as well).  So she has bottle, we try to get her back off to sleep, most days she doesn't.
Nap 8 - 9am
Nap 1-2pm
Bedtime 6pm

Somedays the timings have to be different because of dd1 going to playgroup etc but mostly she does 4 hrs before 1st nap and between 3.5-4hrs for the second nap and then 4 before bedtime.

Would love to hear that there is a teeny tiny possibility that one day she may grow out of this and wake at a more normal time - for me 5.30am would even be a nice lie-in!!!

Have to say though that even with the early mornings she is a real sweetheart, mostly happy and smiley, I don't know how she does it...I do not enjoy the early starts as much as she does!

[Aly Mac]

Lisa how long did you try the earlier bedtime for?  I know it's hard, but I would try it for at least 3days to see if it starts to move... also, maybe move just 15mins earlier at a time.  I would say though, that it does seem like a late bedtime given her 4am wake up!  (you poor thing!)

We had the one nap day yesterday (all of one hour nap mind you... ) with a 5.30 bedtime and she woke me at 6am!  yeh!! today will be going for 2 naps, but am going to start trying to cut the first nap to 30mins to see how that goes.  As she obviously only needs 2hrs max a day sleep.

So the plan is - 30min nap at 9am, 1pm nap time (hopefully for 1.5hrs) then 6.30 bed? 

any advice on the bedtime?  just worried if too early she will wake early.

[LisaM]

Hi

We tried the later bedtime for 2 and a half weeks because I knew I had to give it a real try to see if it worked but unfortunately not for us.  Another bad night, last 3 nights we have had night wakings as well as the early starts....and everyone said it would get better??!!!!

[Pitkin2]

Hi

I need help.

A couple of days ago I posted ' How much sleep does a 20 month need' but tonight I've actually had time to read some of the posts and I have the same problem.

My LO is 20 months on 18th and was a good sleeper ( always earlier riser ) but averaged 12 hours sleep at night and 2-2.5 hours in day.   However, now we have 5.20-5.45 wake-ups every morning no matter what I do.   I've tried extending the nap and then giving him later bedtime but he still woke at 5.30am and he is wide awake and raring to go!  He shouts, Mum, Dad, hello, hello and then even toast the other day!

Here is my routine at the moment;

5.30 am wakeup  ( get him up at 6am)
11.45 am sleep for 2 hours
6.30 bath and then bed for 7 pm

When he was waking at 6.20 am I could put sleep back to 12 am or 12.15 for 2 hours but I put it back to 11.45 am ( somtimes before a bit) as he has been up so long.

Do you suggest cutting the day sleep back to 1.5 hours?  I don't know what to do?
Why does it happen when they begin to reach 2.  He's night sleep has dropped to 10.5 hours!

Any help would be very much appreciated!  I am tired!
Emma

[Layla]

Emma, Isabella's nap dropped to 1.5hrs at around age 2 & nights down to 10.5hrs. You might want to try shortening it as well... mine was more sensitive to A times before bed so we had longer A time in the morning.

You could try:
5.30-5:45 - wakes
12-1.30 - nap
7pm - bedtime

Over the next 4 days or so see if it adds onto his wake up time?

[Aly Mac]

Well the plan didn't really work yesterday  She only slept an hour at 1pm then off to bed at 6pm.  woke at 7 and 8.30pm (tummy problems or teeth, wasn't quite sure) and awake again at 5/5.30.......

Will keep trying half hour in the morning, but any other ideas on my planned times?  Maybe an earlier bedtime as she is a little sensitve to A times.....

[Layla]

ALEESA - have you tried 45mins am? I remember Jasmine getting quiet overtired with the 30min nap at that age & we did 45mins for a while. Isabella too did 45mins until she was 15.5months old which is when she went down to 30mins? Sorry hon if you have already done this... I just don't have time to read all the posts

LISA - Wow!!! I am sorry you are still going through the early waking.. that is so tough!!! It makes me sound like a total winge when I go on about my 5.30am wake ups sometimes...

* Have you ever tried w2s for the early wake ups?
* With the food.... I think you will really need to work hard at NOT feeding her until your desired wake up time... I would say focus on something like 5am for now & then move it in increments to 5.30 & then 6am
* You will probably have to do the same with the morning nap.... alot of times a nap that early in the morning can reinforce early wake ups... so I would do my best to keep her up till 8:15 for a few days & then 8:30, 8:45.. until you are finally at 9am.
* Move all the meals with the nap times as well as the afternoon nap so that she then goes to bed a little later every few days & hopefully will wake up later

You said you had nightwakings for the last 3 nights... how do you respond to her at night? Do you feed her or try to settle her with wi/wo? Is she in your room?
Could it be that she just does not need as much sleep as the av baby & 10hrs at night is all she needs???

[Aly Mac]

Thanks Layla - will try 45mins instead.....I'm just so confused as to what her day should look like...and what I should do....  its seems the only days she has a normal wake up time is after the 1 nap day,but she can't do this everyday as even on those days, she is tired, as they are usually the result of a NW that has made her wake up later...

Layla, what kind of day would you say to try first, if she wakes around 5 (though idon't go to her until just before 6 really).  I just can't get it together - my mind seems to be so clouded with all these things I could try.  Even if you have a few suggestions, and I'll try one at a time...

[Layla]

Well when we were doing the 2-1 swtich I totally didn't mind keeping mine up as long as I did for the 1st nap. So I used to do

wake up (be it as early as 5-5.30am)
9-9:45 - morning nap
12:45 - to bed for the afternoon nap (so that she is asleep by 1pm)
2.30 - she would wake from pm nap
6.30 - bedtime

i don't think she would be ok on 1 nap either.... most aren't to be honest until they are close to 16 months or so...

[Aly Mac]

cool Layla, this is totally doable for Lil.  Keeping her up in the am isn't a problem, just the poor thing doesn't like me waking her up when she is so tired to start with!  I think where I was going wrong was keeping her up later for her second nap, instead of earlier.

So if she doesn't take the longer pm nap (say an hour instead, which is what she did the other day, would you only cut bedtime by half an hour? or more? So only really 4hr A time before bed?

[Layla]

Aleesa, I always thought it was a little ok to stretcht he A times in the morning rather... especially if they are sleeping well at night... I don't know, thats just how I think of it. For us it was always the A time before bed that mattered.

If her pm nap is only 1hr then still keep bedtime A time to 4hrs. So then bed 6pm.... if she wakes up around 6am, you could try to stretch her morning nap to 9:15am but still wake at 45mins & then do pm nap about 15mins later as well