So, after rising at 5am from a 9.5 hr night, Zara slept 2.25hrs at daycare, meltdown this evening, finally the lack of sleep caught up with her, in bed at 6, played til 6:30 LOL.
Zara came to our bed at 4:15 (she got out of bed and walked in LOL) - best morning with her yet, she finally realised that we weren't up yet - I think when her door was shut and we went to her, she didn't realise we were still sleeping iykwim. Anyway, she layed relatively quietly, a bit of squirming around, but didn't ask us to get up (a huge improvement) - and then fell back asleep at about 5:30am YAY!!!!!!!!!!
We decided that if Zara wants to come to our bed she can - we aren't getting up to her any more, she needs us just waaay too much. We do have bad SA going on here again (it was really bad with me at 12 mo, now it is even worse with DH at 19mo - but she did just get a sibling too). Anyway, this has been the easiest, calmest, quietest morning in our house for many weeks, so we are happy, and we don't mind the coming to our bed as a "prop" it is something we actually both enjoy longer term.
I guess what I am trying to say is props are ok if they are somethingyou are fully prepared to do long term, if not, dont do them.
So, I unfortunatley have been awake since about 4, and went to bed at like 10:30 due to doing DF for hugh (but it did work, he didn't get up til 6, but was restless from 4 but self settled each time). Things seem to be headed in the right direction!