15 mth old Habit Night Waking - what to do?

[KittyCat]

13 hours at night... I wish

With how much she's awake, she's actually only sleeping about 10 -- at the most. Plus an hour nap.

Some nights even less.  I'm sure she only goes that late in the morning because she's so tired from not sleeping at night.  If she slept more consistently at night, she'd probably have an earlier wake time (fine by me, as long as she's sleeping in the night!)

we'll keep at it tonight and see how it goes...

[laurencopenhaver]

Wow, she awake for a total of 3 hours at night?  How long does it go on for at a time?  And what exactly are you doing?  I know you said you don't go to her right away, how long is she awake for and what is she doing?  If she's having that bad of nights it's definitely overtired.  Wil she take two naps, at least to get caught up on sleep.

[KittyCat]

When she wakes up, it starts off as a yell, cry or shriek.  Then she starts crying, not just whining.  Depending on how she is (whether she might settle or if she'll escalate) I'll go in after a couple minutes and up to 5 min.  I usually judge her cries / calls very well and can tell immediately if there is any chance on her settling on her own.  I won't leave her too long as that just makes her wake up even more and get more distressed.  She is standing up in her crib while loudly telling me that she is not a happy camper.  I extend the time between vists -- such as after the first time, I'll wait 5 min before I go in, IF it's necessary, then the next time 7-10 min.  Doing this, the longest I leave her is about 15/20 min when she's just fussing -- if she's freaking out I obviously go to her sooner as I don't want her to think she's all alone and abandoned.

The wakeups are still just as frequent and sometimes she's awake for as long as 20 - 30 min. at a time -- multiple wakeups add up!  Or I'll get her settled and just as I'm climbing into bed, she shrieks again and we're back to square one.  This can continue on and off for a few hours -- I've kept track of her time awake and saying she's awake for almost 3 hrs a night (spread out) is a pretty good estimate. 


The last 2 nights, I'm proud to say I have not picked her up!  It's really hard not to though.  I kept putting her back down in her crib and when she rolled over to her tummy to get up, I just rubbed her back and shh'd her.  The first night took a long time but eventually she settled, and the 2nd night not as long -- so I hope this will continue to progress.  It's very hard to lean over the crib to do this so I hope the time shortens.

She will not take a second nap and has refused for quite a long time now.  I've tried extending her naptime but she doesn't agree with me

I'm sure it's because she's overtired too -- that's why I'm trying to figure out how to get her to sleep better

[laurencopenhaver]

First of all, Great Job!  I personally know how hard it is to stand over the crib for hours wanting to cry yourself.  It is sooo frustrating and you feel so alone and that this will never get better.  It will, and you're doing a great job.  Hang in there, we're all here for you. 

Ok, say you want her to have 2 naps, what time would you put her down in the morning?  I would suggest no later than 3 hours after she wakes.  Maybe even sooner.  If she only sleeps for 30-45 min, then nap again no later than 3-3.5 hours.  If the nap is hr or more AND wakes happy, then do normal awake time (I'm guessing 4-4.5 hours), and try for nap 2.  Or you could wake her at 30-45 min or so to hopefully get an easier nap 2.  Does this sound like anything you've been doing?

[KittyCat]

Sorry it took a little while to respond.  We're going through a tough time right now -- my mom has been very sick (melanoma) and it's terminal.  They gave her 6 mths - 1 yr, and it's now barely 5 mths.....we just admitted her into the hospital on Monday evening.  She's not doing well at all....won't make it to Christmas .  As much as I want my daughter to straighten out her sleep habits, that took a backseat to other priorities this week.


As for my little girl....last few nights she's only had 1 or 2 wake ups, and she's put herself back down.  One of them was at 3:15am...and she fussed, then cried, then babbled and coo'd ....for 1 1/4 hrs!  Never to the point I needed to go in to her, but that was a l-o-n-g  night .

About putting her down early for a 1st nap (3 hrs or so)...a definate no-go.  She's wide awake and raring to go then - trying for a nap is complete useless after that little awake time.  I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't get enough awake time before her nap and that is why she doesn't sleep well then ?


I'm still keeping track of her wake ups etc, but I'll need more time to figure things out...my head is a little fuzzy after the last few days....


thank you so much for the advice 

[laurencopenhaver]

Okay, so lets go the other direction, more awake time.  If she's waking at 8:30-9:00, then you could easily get her to 12:30-1:00 right?  Then put her down for nap and hopefully she'll sleep at least an hour.  If she wakes around 2, then you could probably put her down at 7 and have a normal night right?  Wakeups seem to be getting better, keep that up.  What do you think about this?

[KittyCat]

Usually she'll go down closer to 1:30 for her nap.  I don't have much success trying to get her down at 12:30 but will try it and see how it goes.

[laurencopenhaver]

If she can make it to 1:30 and isn't ot than that's a great nap time.  Then you can do normal bedtime whenever you want.  Assuming she sleeps for 1 hour plus, she could easily make it to 7:30 then right?  Nights any better?  Just so you know, I would kill for a day like this.  Mine wakes at 5:30-6 for the day and goes back down by 10-10:30 for maybe an hour, and refuses as well a second nap, and back in bed by 6.  If he would sleep even until 7 it would be much easier.  So know you're not alone and there's others out there even worse off than we are.  Still not picking up when cries at night?