Author Topic: Help with getting a one year old to sleep  (Read 4808 times)

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Offline lala11

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Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« on: November 05, 2007, 18:57:46 pm »
Hi,

My son is one year old.
It was always hard getting him to sleep.
We spent the first seven months either bouncing on a yoga ball or with a carrier on us.
When he was seven months old we managed to get him to sleep with a pacifier.
This lasted for three months until he started teething.
Then he discovered falling asleep while breastfeeding!!!
We are desperate.
Every time we find a way of getting him to sleep he figures it out and fights it (ball, pacifier, breast...)
I don't see how PU/PD could work since he is crawling and just starts crawling as soon as we put him down.
Also, if he cries and we pick him up he starts crying again as soon as we even think of putting him back.
We just spent an hour of him lying down, screaming his head off with both of us stroking him, singing to him and holding his hand and ended up bouncing him to sleep.

We are all sleeping together in communal sleeping on mattresses.

Does anyone have any ideas that can help us?

Thanks,
Lala

Offline yaya

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2007, 19:21:47 pm »
hi there! welcome to the boards, hopefully we'll be able to help!
MY son was also a nightmare to get to sleep till he was 1 yr or so , so i kno how hard it is! Consistency is key and yes pu/Pd DOES work if u do it properly! altho at ur son's age i wouldnt pu, i would try to comfort as much as poss in cot and only ou if really upset. To be honest, I would try gentle withdrawl from whatever ur doin gnow to get him to go to sleep as it sounds as tho the sleep 'props' are strmgly engrained!?
I can talk u thru it if u like

Offline mari

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2007, 19:55:55 pm »
I'm not sure if your little one is getting a bit big for PUPD.  Is he very heavy?

You could do just PD when he stands in his cot and then WO, but I think that if you post your daily routine then it might help with advising you.  Also, gradual withdrawal might help.  Take a look at this link and see what you think.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Offline lala11

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2007, 11:23:19 am »
Hi Mari,

Thanks for your reply.
I couldn't find the link.

Have a good day,
Lala

Offline lala11

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2007, 12:51:50 pm »
Hi Yaya,

Thanks for your reply.
I would appreciate your help.

Lala

Offline yaya

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2007, 19:38:49 pm »
mari yun ur link doesnt come up...
lala...tellme where ur at aqnd what you're doing

Offline mari

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2007, 20:43:07 pm »
See, I'm not very good, I probably forgot to post the link.  But, if it's my new laptop that I can't figure out just yet, if this link doesn't come up go to the Frequently asked questions on this board and go to the topic Gradual Withdrawal v Walk in Walk out, how to choose.  That's the link I'm trying to send.

Sorry

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0



Hope that's there now.  :-*
« Last Edit: November 06, 2007, 20:46:01 pm by mari »

Offline yaya

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2007, 20:46:10 pm »
nope still not there ;)

Offline mari

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2007, 20:47:58 pm »
Give up, don't know what I'm doing wrong, it copies and pastes when I type it, after  post it, it dissappears.  I think this is a problem for Super Gar!  Off to post on the glitches.

Hope you find the link, or could someone more able than I post it for Lala please.  Thanks.

Offline ryan's mum

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2007, 20:50:48 pm »
mari's link

there is a prob on the site with links so you have to hyper link for now  :D
[img width= height=]http://tac.families.com/tickers/tdb.php?tid=1032165&ignore=1[/img]Ryan James 9 Nov 2003

[img width= height=]http://lafemmebonita.com/blinkies//Pregnancy%20and%20Babies/ILoveMySon.gif[/img]

son , I may have silver in my hair but you are the gold in my heart .

Offline lala11

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2007, 15:29:15 pm »
Mari and Yaya,

Thanks, I found the post regarding gradual withdrawal v wi wo.
I definitely feel the gradual withdrawal is more suitable for us but not sure how to start.
He understands he is going to sleep as soon as we head for his mattress and starts crying.
He is dependant on breastfeeding or bouncing on the ball for getting to sleep so even just putting him in bed and lying down next to him, singing and holding his hand or rubbing his back will get him crying hysterically.


This was his schedule up until about two weeks ago (he is either changing to one nap a day or teething or has been messed up by one very late night, but the last two weeks have been completely disordered may sleep one or two naps a day, or only half an hour all day and go to sleep at 19:00 or at 22:00):

7:00 wake up (but can be anywhere between 6:00 and 8:00)
8:00 Play and eat (mostly breastfeeding)
10:00 morning nap (average 1.5 hours)
12:00 wake up
12:00 - 15:00 ish play and eat
15:00 afternoon nap (average 1.5 hours)
19:00 - 20:00 bath, feed and sleep


Thanks

Offline yaya

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2007, 20:04:03 pm »
ok  make that VERY gw ;) exactly what i had to dowith T. he had previously been bounced to sleep  for about 6months ::) i suggest cutting back the  BF association tosleep. keep yoga ball (in the roomwhere u want him to go to sleep), start by not bouncing, just holding to sleep, be patient and believe in it. when thats worked for a few days try laying with him on sofa/bed/mattress in his room .when he has done this well  for a few days u KNOW he can fall asleep without being bounced so try him in his bed. it will be hard but u can do it! remind urself constantly how much happier u'll both be. be consisten, I would pu as little as poss, try to soothe in cot with  shh,backpatting/rubbing whatever works, even getting into the cot with him!
once he 's done that try the GW as outlined on BW....slowly( at YOUR pace) remove theamount of help u give him to go to sleep. I was at hte stage where he would go to sleep with my hand on his back for months before i braved itout of the room! after that trying just sitting on the floor in his room, making ur way neaer to the door each day till ur out and u can do wi/wo

BABY STEPS!!! remember that and give himthe time he needs, thats my opinion anyway andnwhat finally worked for us! first time he goes tosleep not being bounced remind urself that he now only needs to learn to replicate that in  his bed but HE CAN DO IT!!
am here for anything u need

Offline lala11

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2007, 08:12:10 am »
Just got him down for his morning nap (10:00).
I fed him in the living room before going into our bedroom.
I wanted to try sitting on the ball without bouncing but he wouldn't have it (we haven't been using the ball lately and it has been going to sleep by BF only).
So, I tried holding him on my chest with my shirt on (usually he lies across me with his legs on one side feeding on the breast on the other side and me rocking him a bit) but he screamed and tried to pull my shirt up.
So... I pulled my shirt up and let him feed but without rocking him and he was asleep within 5 minutes.

What should I have done?
 :-[

Offline yaya

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #13 on: November 08, 2007, 12:48:40 pm »
hugs hun, dont feel bad! All I can say is if u really want to stop BFing to sleep then thats just what u have to do,.....know in your mind that it'llmean messed up sleep and naps for a few days but he'll get used to it, i wouldnt pull upmy shirt at all..he's bound to feel confused and if u think he cant lay there on your lap without wanting the boob then i wouldnt have him on yor lap tbh.  i would rock sway, whatever to get him to sleep without boob, does he take a paci?
once he's gone to sleep a few times without boob then i would start where i explained in last post..he may miss the nap entirely but the impthing is consistency and letting him understadn what ur doing...that is nohe cant have boob. i would explain it to him say ur a big boy now so u have togo to sleep without a feed or whatever and repeat it constantly....he needs to 'get ober the mountain' so to spk, he needs to realise that it IS poss to go to sleep without it, its nromal for him not to kno any other way at the mo and be very upset that ur taking it away from him but HE WILL learn,believe inyoursefl

Offline mari

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Re: Help with getting a one year old to sleep
« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2007, 17:42:47 pm »
Lala, will your dh help out?  Maybe if you could be away from him at sleep times and then the breast would not be available?