Hi there,
HUGS to you. I have to admit I don't visit the sleep boards often, as my DS is a horrible sleeper and I often am not sure if my advice will have merit. But, I do have the experience of reading about 1000 posts and every book under the sun related to sleep
, so I am hoping I might be able to help a little bit.
If you want to be sure she doesn't crawl into bed without you knowing, perhaps put a bell or some such thing on her door so that you know when she leaves the room (and hopefully it will be loud enough for you to hear.) I believe around this age is when nightmares can start. So perhaps DH putting DD to bed just kind of coincided with this developmental stage?
I would be 100% consistant with her, saying, "here is your water, here is your blanket" and be sure that every possible excuse is taken care of before you leave the room. If she comes out, lead her back to bed, no talking or interaction. Do this 100 times if necessary. She will understand. Is she old enough to read a clock, understand the number 6 or 7 ?(or whatever time you find suitable for her to awake). Put a digital clock on her nightstand and attach a piece of paper with the appropriate number on it. Tell her she cannot come out of her room in the morning until the numbers match.
As for lying down with her. If you are happy with this arrangement, then continue to do it. If not, stop doing it right now as it will become a prop. (please, i am not judging, just speaking from 2.5 years of inconsistant sleep training, holding hands, lying down with my son...all of which I am going to change starting this Friday as a matter of fact!) I'll be back if I think of more for DD. BTW, strongly advise giving up the nap and going with quiet time and the early bedtime. Perhaps you need to make bedtime a touch earlier when there is no nap. By 8pm she might be quite overtired and that's why she cannot settle until 9-9:30pm. OH, and you don't mention her regular wake-up time???
As for DS, it's been a while since i've been there but can think of two things. 1) is 3-4 hours day sleep perhaps too much now, and he's not tired enough to make it through the night? Have you tried cutting his naps, just a little bit, perhaps 15 minutes off of both for a few days to see if that helps. 2) 12 months old, peak teething time for 1 year molars??? Or incisors? take a peak, perhaps he's in pain. That's all i can think of for him....I'm sure you'll get lots of wonderful advice...I just can't remember that far back (and I was in a sleep deprived fog anyway
)
Best of luck to you and HUGE HUGE hugs. I of course had to post to help a fellow Canadian. Forgive my ignorance, where is Carvel?
ttfn.
Traci
