Author Topic: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!  (Read 6597 times)

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Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #30 on: November 25, 2007, 18:01:17 pm »
Okay, so Friday night we bit the bullet and started night-weaning.  We're starting with a "no nursing before 5 am" rule.  Friday night it took 2.5 hours (from 11:30 to 2 am) for her to get back to sleep.  She cried A LOT.  Obviously not on her own; at first DH held her and rocked her to calm her, then, since she wasn't going to sleep in his arms anyway, he put her down in the crib and stayed with her rubbing her back.  Eventually she got to the point that she was trying to wind down but really can't when we're in the room (something I've already learned about), so DH left and she did a 10-second protest cry then fussed on and off for half an hour, then finally went to sleep.  Then she woke at 5:45 and nursed and slept somewhat fitfully till 8.

Last night it also took 2.5 hours again (this time from 1:15 to 3:45), but with much less crying.  Dh also spent much less time in the room with her.  But she fussed for a LONG time... she'd even get to the point that we'd hear nothing for 15 minutes, and think she was asleep, and then she'd fuss a little more.  But she did eventually fall asleep.  Then she woke at 6:30, nursed, and was up for the day-- it's way too light out at 6:30 for there to be any chance she'd go back down to sleep.  I guess given that the NWing came later in the night and there was much less crying (though still lots of fussing) means there was progress.

DH pretty much had to shout at me to butt out because I kept trying to go in and nurse her.  :-[  I know he's right that giving in will just make it take even longer next time, and I know she doesn't really need to eat before 5 (because just last week she slept through till then), but for some reason I'm having a really hard time letting go of night-nursing this time around (with Lilah I had much more resolve-- and she didn't take 2.5 hours to get back down to sleep with DH-- more like less than an hour!)-- maybe because I think she may be my last baby?   :'(  But on the other hand, I know it's in both our best interests that she start sleeping through at least till 5 am sometime before age 3, and that she's not going to do it if she keeps getting nursed at night, so it's got to be done.

Need some support ladies, to keep me going!  I'll let you know how tonight goes.
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Bryony

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #31 on: November 25, 2007, 19:08:34 pm »
Hugs Sabrina, and well done on doing the first two nights!  Three nights to make or break a habit, right - so after tonight you should be most of the way there!!  Hang in there... and your DH is being a star!

Bryony


You only really know what love is when you become a parent

Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #32 on: November 25, 2007, 21:22:32 pm »
Hugs Sabrina, and well done on doing the first two nights!  Three nights to make or break a habit, right - so after tonight you should be most of the way there!!  Hang in there... and your DH is being a star!


He is a star; couldn't have chosen better.  Yes, I know after tonight, we should be through the worst of it.  Will keep you all posted.

Right now Iris is overtired that she's really cranky and clingy, and now, though she was falling asleep during her wind-down for her pm nap, is taking her time settling...  :-\   Once she's asleep, should I let her sleep an extra half hour if she'll do it?  Or should I keep her to 3 hours still?
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Bryony

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #33 on: November 26, 2007, 10:11:56 am »
I never know what to do in this case, so would be interested to know what others think as well!

Last week we had exactly the same situation - so I DID let Katie have an extra half hour on her nap - she then was wide awake wanting to play for an hour in the middle of the night. So the next day I kept her naps as normal and put her down half an hour earlier for bed instead, and she slept through...  So for us I think I will keep her naps to thier normal length and put Katie to bed earlier if she seems OT. But whether this is a general thing for all LOs I don't know.....

Let me know how you get on!

Bryony


You only really know what love is when you become a parent

Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #34 on: November 26, 2007, 18:16:15 pm »
Well, she ended up waking naturally after 15 minutes of extra on the pm nap.  And she woke happy, so it seemed that that was the right thing to do.

So last night's log on the night-weaning...

She called out a few times between 10:00 and 11:30, and then at 11:30 she meant business.  DH got her back to sleep in a record 15 minutes! (He did rock her though-- right now I'm aiming simply to night-wean, then we'll deal with any other props as necessary).  She was up again at 4:00 and did the mantra cry, nothing for 15 minutes, then crying for a minute, then mantra cry, then nothing for 15 minutes... repeat as necessary. ::)  That took us to 5 am, so I nursed her.  She drained one side and I put her back to bed awake.  She slept till eight.

So, so far we haven't had any more 3-hour parties since limiting nap time (I think 3 hours is reasonable for her, as she very rarely sleeps more than 11 total hours at night), so that's progress.  And though she may well have been up for another 2.5 hours from 4 am if I hadn't nursed at 5, she did get much more sleep last night (though I still didn't-- her calling out from 10:00 to 11:30 and then being up to nearly midnight meant I didn't fall asleep until after midnight, then was up again from 4 to about 5:20  ::) ).  I'm hoping tonight goes even better; once we're having shorter wakings, we'll start fading the other assistance during the night (i.e., rocking).
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #35 on: November 26, 2007, 18:54:09 pm »
So she just woke from her am nap, happy, at the 30 minute mark.  ???  What's that about?
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Bryony

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #36 on: November 26, 2007, 19:36:53 pm »
Sounds like things are going great with the night times - well done!

30 min naps usually mean overtired - although waking up happy doesn't sound like overtired...?!  Hopefully it was just a one-off! 

They don't half keep us on our toes don't they....

Bryony x


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Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #37 on: November 26, 2007, 21:41:04 pm »
I discovered the reason for the 30-minute nap at the post-nap diaper change... a poop!  Should have known...
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline kim&savannah

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #38 on: November 27, 2007, 03:30:32 am »
Sabrina~ Sounds like things are going really well!  Yay!  Hope she stops the NWings soon for you.  We're dealing with teething and possibly a cold (the rest of us are sick, but can't tell if his nose is from the teeth or if he has what we do).  So despite no night feedings for a couple weeks, we're still waking up a couple times a night.  I just hope we can get it all worked out soon.

~Kim
~Kim

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Abraham,   11/06
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Offline RACHPEM

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #39 on: November 27, 2007, 14:39:45 pm »
Just wanted to add my story.
We have struggled with NW's and bad naps since day 1, however (dont want to jinx this) I have noticed that Maya has Nw terrible when her naps have been exceptionally bad.  The past wk she has been sleeping much better at nt sometimes 13 hrs and again thought at 1 point this was what was causing her bad naps, ie too much sleep, however I have clocked that the better rested she is at nt the better she sleeps in the day and then at nt. (if that makes sense?) Last nt was a really bad nt due to the fact I had to let my hubby take her to work iwth him yesterday as I was not very well she had 1 hr approx all day and was up from 1.15-3am then woke at 5am.
I am sure she will change her pattern again in no time, but 1 wk is the best yet at a routine I am pleased as punch!!!!
Rachael

Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #40 on: November 27, 2007, 17:05:48 pm »
Rachael, glad things are going well for you!  Usually DD2 takes pretty decent naps, and if one isn't good, she'll usually make up for it at the next.  But if both are bad, the night is awful, too.  She needs good daytime sleep, but not so much that she wants to be up partying half the night.

Kim, we've got quite the snotty nose and teething here, too.  Last night we actually gave her benedryl for the crazy amount of snot that's coming out of her nose, so we cheated a bit.  Wouldn't you know it, she called out a couple times between 2:30 and 3:00, then slept till precisely 4:59.  ::)  I went in and fed her, but before I did, I had to put her arm back in her pajama sleeve, which she'd somehow gotten out of, and the arm was pretty cold, so I think it happened earlier in the night.  I'm surprised she went back to sleep like that!  Anway, she only slept (or at least was quiet enough that I slept) until 5:45, and though she wasn't crying so we left her in bed, she was definitely awake from then on.  I finally got her up at about 6:15 when she was more serious about getting up.

I'm thinking we probably are going to have to push the "nursing allowed" time to 6 am soon or we're going to be encouraging her to wake at 5 am.  But right now, she usually goes back to sleep then, and with all the NWing before then, I need that bit of sleep to make it through the day.  So Once we're getting to 5 on a fairly consistent basis and I stop feeling like death, we will push that first nursing to 6 am.

I'm hoping that last night was not the result of the benedryl but the night-weaning. ::)
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Bryony's mum

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #41 on: November 27, 2007, 19:38:17 pm »
Hi Sabrina!  I thought I'd take a peek at your thread since I think we need to be joining you.  Zach's night wakings are really bad at the moment and I realised today that I don't feel human any more.  :(  His NWs sound similar to how Iris's were, but he has much less nap time - usually 45 minutes and 1.5 hours. 

I did try wi/wo the other night, but after a while, Zach was sobbing and his little body was shaking with the sobs, so I fed him and cuddled him back to sleep.  I don't remember the other two crying like that, so i panicked and gave up.   :'(  I can't decide whether it's reasonable that he doesn't nurse at all - he's never not nursed at night, so perhaps I should reckon on an 11pm feed?  the other two were plder when I night weaned, so I knew they couldn't need the milk. 

Perhaps i should just do what you're doing and work on getting him back to sleep without the milk any way i can, and then if he'll do that, i know he doesn't need the milk.

Well done on your (and dh's!) good work.  Won't it be great to be getting a good night's sleep!  :)
Alisa

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Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #42 on: November 27, 2007, 22:08:41 pm »
Alisa, Hi!  Glad to see you (though not glad you're in the same boat).  How often does Zach usually nurse during the night?  What's the longest he's gone before?  Iris has done 10 hours on a few occasions, and just recently went until 5 am, so that's what I decided was our goal for now.  When I night-weaned Lilah at nine momths, she was doing habitual wakings at 11:00, 2:00, and 5:00, like clockwork, so I decided to start by eliminating the first (as I'm usually asleep already by then), waiting a few days, then the next, etc.  But Lilah "got" it really quickly and after the first time of DH going to her instead of me, she slept through till morning, so we just went cold turkey at that point.  Iris is another story altogether, so we're going in baby steps.  She typically-- when not having 2-3 hour night-time parties, would nurse at about 11:30 and 4 or 5.  So I'm cutting out the first and we'll worry about the second later.

We haven't done WI/WO exactly either; I just pay really close attention to her cries, because some are protest cries that end in about a minute or two, then peter out to fussing/mantra cries, and some are genuine cries that require my attention.  If I go in too quickly when it's a protest cry, it sets us back.  She usually won't settle with me in the room unless I'm actually physically putting her to sleep by rocking, nursing, or rubbing her back, so it's best if I just leave and see if she'll do it on her own.  If she's genuinely crying, I usually need to pick her up and calm her down before she can get back to sleep.  I too would have given up if Iris started to cry uncontrollably and shake; it's happened before when I've tried to do WI/WO with her, too.

Let me know how it goes for you!

I definitely can't wait to be sleeping again.
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Lilah'sMommy

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #43 on: November 28, 2007, 18:53:35 pm »
Ladies (any of you who are still reading this saga  ::) ), I really need a pep talk.  :-\  This was my night:

7:45   Iris in bed and asleep
8:00   Lilah in bed and asleep (she didn't nap in the afternoon)
9:30   DH and I in bed and asleep (so far so good)
1:00   I woke up to pee  ::)  (After my first pregnancy, Ican't ever make it all night anymore)
1:30   Lilah woke up crying that she wanted some water (she almost always has NWings when she skips her nap)
2:30   Iris wakes up and starts playing (I messed up and let her nap too much yesterday)  ::)  :-[
2:30-4:00 I doze on and off while Iris continues playing in the crib
4:00   Iris is still up and decides she's done playing and starts crying.  DH goes in and she's once again gotten her arm out of the neck hole of her pajamas.  ::)  He stays with her a bit to calm her and then leaves her to it.
4:00-5:00 she fusses on and off; I fight with DH about how I think she's hungry and I should just go nurse her
5:00   I go in to nurse her, but she's lying down, fussing, not up and crying, so I leave
5:05   Silence from their room; Iris is finally asleep
5:05-5:20 I toss and turn, completely awake though exhausted, and anxious
5:20-5:40 I go out to the couch and cry because I don't see things improving and we're all getting even less sleep than we were before, and I don't see an end in sight.  :'(
5:40   My crying finally calmed me down, and I go back to bed
6:00   I finally fall asleep again
7:15   The bloody cat wakes me up  >:(
7:30   Iris is up, I nurse her, and she doesn't even drain one breast-- it's been 12 hours since she last ate!  ???


So, I logged a toatl of 6 hours and 15 minutes of extremely broken sleep (and I'm a nine-hours-a-night kind of girl), and I don't see how it's going to get any better.  I did wake up more positive than I was at 5 am, and have noted the following:

-Iris is now going down on her own consistently and quickly at naps and bedtime (it was about 80% of the time before)
-She's falling back asleep without nursing and in her own bed (but it's taking an hour or more!)
-She did go 12 whole hours last night without nursing (a record for her)

Meanwhile, now not only am I sleep deprived, but DH and even Lilah are suffering now that we started this (Lilah's sleep is fitful on nights she doesn't nap, which I can't control, but it's even more fitful if she doesn't nap and Iris is up fussing).  I feel completely exhausted and barely able to function, I'm grumpy with Lilah and DH, and I can't forsee the end of it.  I guess I have to give the plan a full 2 weeks before we can really see if it's working, but in the meantime, I hope nobody crashes the car, or I don't have a nervous breakdown. :(  Anyway, that was night 5, so "only" 9 more to go to two weeks. ::)
Sabrina
wife to Roy, 6-29-01
mom to Lilah, 9-5-04
Iris, 1-8-07
and Eve, 4-9-09

Offline Bryony

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Re: I need help! 10 month old up for hours at a time!
« Reply #44 on: November 28, 2007, 19:30:55 pm »
Oh Sabrina, what a night!!  But wow, it looks like you ARE making progress!  So it looks like Iris doesn't desparately need night feeds (at least not last night) so you should not feel bad about not nursing her.  She will get out of the habit of it - these days if I offer Katie a boob during night (only happens v rarely if I think she might be hungry and she can't get back to sleep after a NW) she looks at me as if I am nuts.  And Iris will also get better at getting herself back to sleep. 

It's tough that it's happening while Lilah is in the process of dropping her nap. 

Keep going - you can't give up now  :)

Bryony x


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