Need help! Baby won't fall asleep on own for naps

[lizbuff]

My baby just turned 4 weeks today.  From the start, I have been feeding her every 2.5-3 hours, making sure she gets full feedings... At night, she's great about going right back to sleep after feeding her.  During the day I make sure to feed her (20 minutes), diaper change, then have a little activity time (usually no more than 20 minutes), then re-swaddle her and lay her down in her crib.  I sometimes turn the mobile on so she can watch it and hopefully fall asleep on her own.  She won't take a pacifier.  She will let out little fusses (sound like tired fusses to me, or maybe bored, but I doubt it at this age?) spaced apart by long silences for 30+ minutes.  Seems like it takes her a looong time to fall asleep on her own and often it will never happen. She'll just fuss until the next feeding.

What am I doing wrong?

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

So when she's silent, is she asleep or not (sorry, stupid question)?

[lizbuff]

I'm not sure, actually.  I think when it's silent she's probably trying to doze off, but doesn't ever completely?  Because, the silent times usually only last 2-3 minutes.

[deckchariot]

4 weeks is so young yet!  It sounds like you're doing great really...have you tried using pat/shh to help soothe her in her crib as she's falling asleep?  At this age, sleep is kind of all over the place, she's just so little.  Hang in there!!!

[DylansMum07]

She's probably even a little too young to really see the mobile all that well, but I know I have to actually take my mobile down when its time to sleep because it's too stimulating.  Is the room dark?  That may help as well. 

[lizbuff]

So, at some point will she start being better at self-soothing?  I just read up on the shh-patting thing you can do to get babies to fall asleep for their naps - wow, doing that for 20 minutes before each nap!?  How long would I have to continue that?  At some point do they just fall asleep on their own?

-Liz

[DylansMum07]

Get your shhh pat hand ready... you'll be doing that for a while.  Hopefully it won't continue to take 20 minutes each time especially when your lo starts learning the routine.  There are certainly days you'll need to help more than others.  Every developmental milestone can throw things upside down a little.  But that is why it is so important to have a routine and certain cues that it's time to sleep.  My son never really liked shh pat, he's touchy so it actually disturbed him a little.  If you can find your baby settles with only shhing, or with just laying your hand on them you can try that. 

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

20 minutes... 30 minutes... It is hard work but SO worth it in the end.  Enfys was probably 8 weeks when she could fall asleep on her own most of the time.  Now she falls asleep on her own nearly every time (only if she's overtired or something).  I agree with whoever suggested taking the mobile down... Enfys couldn't stop staring at hers and it just kept her awake.  Blackout curtains help a lot too.  She's very very nosy and if there's something to look at - it will keep her awake.  hth xx

[deckchariot]

I second the pps - taking the time now with shh/pat is sooooooooooo worth it!  I'd actually bring a chair in next to the crib and drink lots of water before getting started.  I found if I just settled in my mind that I was going to be in there as long as it took, that made things much better.  I would say for us, the major time investment was really the first 6 weeks (every nap, every bedtime), and then we started backing off on the time (for bedtime, we started backing off probably around 5 weeks, total independent sleeping by 7/8 wks, naptimes followed after that).  It does seem like a long time now, but it really ends of being a short span of time overall, and I've enjoyed having an independent sleeper for MONTHS now, that time of shh/patting that seemed like forever doesn't so much now.  Good luck!!!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

So true Michelle!