Sleep/Pacifier issue?? Need New Ideas!!

[branran]

I am looking for any new ideas - I'm not sure if this is posted in the right place so feel free to move if necessary.  My LO is 2years and 5months.  She is a very idependent, spirited child.  She used a binky (just for sleep) until about 6 weeks ago.  We took it away cold turkey and with not much planning I will admit.  She kept asking to move to a big girl bed ( we have a 9yo and she wants to be like big sis) - We told her she couldn't move to a big girl bed with the binky - so she willing gave it up.  We have switched to a big girl bed and have had nothing but problems since!!   She seems fine with the bed - she picked out the sheets and tells people about her bed.  Our wind down is fine and our routine hasn't changed, but she is having HUGE ISSUES falling asleep!!!  She has a lovey and a stuffed animal that she sleeps with.  She is so tired, but doesn't seem to be able to actually fall asleep - (when she had the binky, she would crawl in bed after stories and go right to sleep)  She doesn't ask for the binky - but I"m not sure she realizes that is what she was dependent on to fall asleep!!!  I am running out of ideas and out of patience!!  There are some nights she is not even getting 8 hrs of sleep (she used to sleep 11-12 at night) and she is having many night wakings!!  So you can just imagine what that is doing to her behavior!!  Wow it has been TOUGH!!  Is it CRAZY to want to give back the binky after 6 weeks?  Please give any ideas on how I can teach her a different soothing technique and get my sweet little girl some rest!!!  Thanks for reading the long post!

[Layla]

Hi there

I hope you don't mind but I might pop this over to "props" as you might get more responses there...

Does she have a lovey or something she is fairly attached to that could be used as a part of her windown routine & get her to start associating it with sleep?

Layla

[¤ Efka ¤]

What about when you stay with her and gently caress her back ?
What is exactly her bedtime routine?
Does she naps? approximately what time she wakes and goes to bed and naps?

[branran]

The moderator from props moved this to the toddler sleep board.  Yes she does have a lovey.  She has music, we have a great wind down with lots of books and cuddling.  I am not sure what else to give her and I am getting desperate!!   It is like she just doesn't know how to make herself fall asleep  -  she will get so tired, almost delirious but it is taking her so long to fall asleep.  She will close her eyes, you can see her body relaxing and then she will pop up and need something - her blankie, her tiger, anything and then the process starts all over!! (it is going on for 2-3 hrs some nights)  EXAUSTING!!  Obviously I don't want to go back to the pacifier, it was starting to spill into the rest of her day (she has always only used it for sleep - she was starting to ask for the binky every time she got upset and then her behavior would escalate when she couldn't have the binky) but I seriously don't know what to teach her to get her to be able to relax.  I know she has had a lot of changes in the last 6 weeks - saying goodbye to binky, the new bed - but I really thought things would be back under control by now.  Any ideas would be great -  I am up for trying anything at this point!!

[¤ Efka ¤]

How does her day look like?

[branran]

Caressing her back and talking softly seem to be the only thing that does work - eventually - even that is taking a long time - she tries to talk to us or get up and want a different stuffed animal, she tosses and turns a lot - it seems like anything she can come up with not to just drift off!!

She does still nap and that hadn't been too big of problem, but that is becoming difficult also.  I moved her nap up a little  - thinking maybe that was playing a part.   Here is how our day looks.

Up for day at around 7am
7-730 getting dressed, morning chores
730 breakfast
8-830 she usually watches a show or plays while I clean up
830 - 1115 - little brother goes down for nap around 9 or so - so this is our special time, we do a variety things during this time
1115/1130 lunch
play for a little while after lunch
1230/100 down for nap - usually sleeps about 2 hrs (we were going down about 130, but like I said , I moved that up thinking maybe she was sleeping too late in the day)
After nap we get up and play, run errands, etc
530/600 Supper
after supper we play for  a little while then it is bath, brush teeth, etc about 730, then into her room about 8 - we read books and talk for about 15 min and then into bed  ----  and here is where the problems start!!
We are now having nights that she isn't falling asleep until after 10pm, having a fitful night, and then early waking - all of course because she is OT!!


We have tried letting her read books on her own for a few minutes and then lights out( we even set a timer),  that didn't work,  she will do fine for a few minutes on her own , then she starts talking, then calling out for us, then yelling for us, then climbing around on her bed, then yelling again!! 

It does work sometimes to talk softly to her and to caress her back and play with her hair, but I'm not sure where to draw the line - We can get her very relaxed and tell her good night and then she perks right up.

Should we be staying in her room until she falls asleep?  and then how do we work our way out of that?

If nothing else this is helping me take a look at our day and even writing this I am thinking of some ways that we can tweak our day and maybe help things along.  Thanks so much for reading/listening.  I am still welcoming any ideas!!

Thanks again

[Mom to M&M]

If you've seen my post on here too, you'll know we're having a similar issue with my 2 1/4 yo DD who just stopped sucking her thumb about 2 weeks ago on her own (we think due to her molars coming in). It's slowly getting better but she's definitely had a very hard time winding down/falling asleep unless she's just plum exhausted and/or in the car. I've found that extending her A time a bit before her nap (we were doing 5 hours before nap, now 5.25-5.5) helps some, as does reading an extra book (particularly one about sleep) or two. I've also had to cut her nap back to about 1.5 hours in order to make sure she is tired enough at night to help get over the lack of the thumb sucking. And I do try to get her as much physical activity as possible (and fresh air) but also try to start more calming activities about 45-60 minutes before both nap and bedtime. HTH - we're still working through it too and we haven't switched to a big bed yet!

[¤ Efka ¤]

I think maybe cut the nap 1.5 hours?
And when she falls asleep better when you are in room, sure do that  and then once is used to that you sit next to her bed then every day sit father away from her bed til you are at the door.

I will think about it a bit more.

[branran]

Just wanted to update everyone  -  we have a new plan and so far so good!!  LETS KEEP OUR FINGERS CROSSED!!  I bought her a bedtime bear care bear and told her that he is special bear who helps little girls fall asleep!!  She has held on to that bear all day.  I have given her tons of attention today and we have spent a lot of time trying to get every cue from her possible.  Todays nap was awesome.  She went down without a peep, slept for 1.5 hrs, got up happy and playful --  none of those things have happened in weeks - certainly not together!!  She is in bed right now  - not asleep, but quiet and not had any trouble!!  Hopefully we are going to pull this off!!   Wish me luck  and thanks to everyone for helping me sort through this and mostly for listening!!  I'll let you know our progress.

[¤ Efka ¤]

How great news.