Author Topic: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!  (Read 4332 times)

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Offline vadensmommy

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Re: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!
« Reply #30 on: December 20, 2007, 21:14:28 pm »
Oh I seriously am the same = I could so fall asleep everytime I put dd down for a nap.  All the rocking, and cuddling, sound machine, dark room.  I'm like - "Throw me a pillow, and where's the floor!!??" But as soon as I come out, I'm awake again :)

Yes, dd is also the same - just needs a good bit of help with the wind down to start shutting down.  Not winding down till she is asleep, but wound down enough where she can take over from there, and be independent and in control of the actually falling asleep.  She just isn't as good at calming down on her own, and needs help.  I mean, before when she was non-mobile, there wasn't a lot of difference between laying on the floor looking around for A time, to looking around the dark room in the crib - so there was less to wind down from.  But now, she's crawling everywhere, pulling up, pulling stuff off the couch, go, go, go, and she just needs more time and help to transition from go, go, go, to being in the crib expected to be quiet and go to sleep.  I hope that makes sense. 

I have been known to rock with dd for 20-30min if she just is having a hard time winding down.  AND, the more OT she is, the longer our wind down ends up being.  Because if I put her down before she is pretty drowsy, she'll be up and crying within seconds, and requires much more pd, and, I too put my hand on dd when she is in the crib and fussing, but isn't pulling up, until she is calm, and try to leave the room before she falls completely asleep - but she only needs the hand on her when she is OT - esp at night when she's OT from bad naps, and needs a few pd's at night, I'll do the hand a lot more.  So, yeah, it can be a fine line.  But if she being put into the crib AWAKE, I think her dependence on you after being put down will become increasingly less as she gets better at self soothing again.  And there are other tools like gradual withdrawal to help with getting out of her room if she does become dependent on you physically being IN the room, but not being held by you. 

Take care, keep me posted!!


Offline bethanys mummy

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Re: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2008, 17:12:13 pm »
Hello again ladies

just in case you thought we had disappeared without trace I thought I would give you an update

Hope you had a fabulous festive period. We had a good one, lots of socialising with family, DD! mad with excitement and Bethany climbing all over boxes and wrapping paper etc

Anyway, back to business.

Before Xmas we had a good session of winding her down more..... :-\  :-\  well once it worked like a dream, just a little babbling and off she went, others have been moderately successful but some crying. But its a LONG time I am spending winding down so still undecided between doing this and then backing off or not doing so much wind down because its too prop like / time busting (to use a BW phrase)

Then she got another cold and cough - seriously losing count of how many she has had poor thing - so it was backwards again with helping her settle and lots of NWs with a terrible cough and sore throat. I also had mastitus, joy ::)

Out of this now so settling back to the routine again. Seems consistent that, when she is well, she had A times of 3,45 & 3,45 and 3 with naps of only 1.5 hrs and 45 mins. On the low side but she does seem happy with this and we get more tears if we try to settle her earlier so so be it

Bed times... well they are not perfect but we dont have tears for as long or as intense, so we are getting there

We trundle on.....
Emma


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Offline vadensmommy

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Re: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2008, 17:27:44 pm »
Hey emma!
Sorry to hear that she's had yet another cold!  We've battled a lot of illness around here ourselves, and dd is starting to be able to better soothe herself.  Something else I've learned is to back off a bit and let dd soothe herself more.  I was getting tired of spending forever winding down as well, so I did a shorter wind down one day to see what would happen.  I think it may be a bit of SA, but if I lay her down fairly awake but showing obvious tired signs, and then leave the room, she will burst into tears with really MAD type cries.  I had been running back in and doing pd, but I finally just let her cry for a bit to see what happened.  Within 60 seconds she de-escalated, and played happily in her crib till she went to sleep on her own!  ::)

So I think I was helping too much when she didn't really need it.  It is hard to gauge when they've been sick, and you don't want to push the independence thing too hard in case they really do need you because of feeling poorly.  So dd seems to be settling a bit faster, but DH is having to listen to a few really loud cries till she mantra's herself calm a bit.  Oh well!  Better than me being in her room all day and night for naps and sleep! 

Trudge on dear, we are all trudging with you!


Offline bethanys mummy

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Re: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!
« Reply #33 on: January 06, 2008, 00:30:53 am »
The mad cry is EXACTLY what B does too... "dont leave me!!!!! :'( :'(, oh ok you have, I will just moan instead as its time to go to sleep", moan, mutter, moan, mutter, mantra, mutter, mantra... sleep

Little Tinkers....

Would be nice to leave the room without the heart breaking second, but as long as its that short I guess we can cope.....

Thanks again for all your support X
Emma


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Offline vadensmommy

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Re: EASY going sooo wonky for 9 month old - please help!!!
« Reply #34 on: January 06, 2008, 22:43:54 pm »
I've quit being heartbroken over these cries - once I figured out she was more mad than hurt, I sort of giggle when I leave the room.  Is that awful?  She just tickles me because she gets mad at having to go to sleep!  And she puts on such a good show of it for at least a minute or so!  What drama!  Gracious, what will she be like when she is 16??
Let's not think about that now.   ::)