1 NAP MONSTER HELP!

[newmaze]

Hello...
I thought I would give it a month before I really asked for help (and that is just a straight month of 1 nap, we have been doing this for months).  My dd takes 1 nap a day but it is usually anywhere from 30 mins to an hour TOPS at length.  She sleeps a good 11-12 hours a night, always.  Everyone told me that "it will even out", "she will eventually nap longer", etc etc.  It has been a month of one nap, with a few 2 nap days thrown in to combat the awful OT.  We have no NW's and no EW's (so far....) she just won't take longer than a 45 mins nap, and by 5:00 she is exhausted, moody, irritable, and the list goes on.  I have tried earlier (say 10:30) and sometimes that works for a 90 min nap, but problem is, it is 12, and I have to figure out what to do with her until bedtime (Long A time...).  So, i have tried pushing it back slowly... some days good, some days 30 min nap.  As I said, I throw some 2 day naps in here and there, but I don't like to make that a commonplace thing as that 2nd nap can sometimes run very late (because she is tired, but not tired enough for 2 naps).  Yesterday it ended at 5 (45 mins, though).  She didn't fall asleep until almost 8:45, and I want to avoid that as her normal bedtime is usually 7:30 (in bed, not always asleep). 

I have read and read and read all the posts and it seems others have been in teh same boat.  But, why does mine seem to be lasting FOREVER. 

Can anyone help?  I don't want much!  Maybe just an HOUR nap?  We are wayyyyy past extending...I only arouse her by being in the room, or walking in/out. 

sighhhhhhhhhhh.  thanks!  jen

[skatty]

I can only go by my DD and if she has a 45 min nap it means she was undertired. We have moved to one nap recently and I stumbled upon our magic A time which is 4hrs30 any less and she has a 40-50 min nap and wakes refreshed and any more and she takes 1hr5 to 1hr15 with 4hrs 30 it at least 1˝hrs.

Good luck with finding your magic A time 

[Mom to M&M]

How old is your DD? What are your current and your ideal routines?

[newmaze]

She just turned 19 months. Our routine from 4 months until about 14 months was 7/7:30 wake, nap around 9:30/10, and a 2nd nap at 2:30/3.  I give those ranges because it depends on what we were doing those days.  Once she started refusing one, or taking too long to sleep for one, I started the process. 

I thought 45 mins was OT?  See, it doesn't seem to make sense for us because I could keep her up only 2 hours and it could be a 45 min nap, or I could keep her up for 7am - 1pm, and it is a 45 mins nap.

How to find that magic A time when nothing seems to work?  Just keep trying and tyring, and if it works one day, try it again?? Is that what you did?  So lost now.  We had it so nice for SO LONG!!!!!! sigh!

[andibig]

Jen
you are being too hard on yourself .It takes most people at least 2-3 months for the 2-1 nap transition to fall into place.

If she is still taking two naps I would try limiting the first nap to no longer than 20mins.That way she should be tired enough for a 2nd nap.Then you start cutting down the AM nap and moving the PM nap earlier till its (hopefully) in the right time.

If its a case of her taking just one nap then most people find a time and stick to it.So if shes awake at 7 then aim for a nap around 1.30.Thats the amt of A time we did with Sasha 5.5hrs.
HTH

[newmaze]

Thank you! 

Ok, then.  2 questions for you.  If I do the first option, and go backwards now and do 2 naps again, but limit that first nap, when should I put her down say if she wakes anytime btw 7-8am (the latest wake for us usually).

2nd question - You don't think 5.5 hours is too long of A time for her age?  Just curious?  I feel as though people tell me 4, 4.5 maybe 5 hours.  Should I just try all of them, like the PP said for the magic time??  So confused which route to go. 

I know i am hard on myself, but it has been WAY longer than 1 month.  I just gave it 1 month until I posted again, lol!!!!!!!

[skatty]

Hi Jen, I should have probably added that we never had it could with nap times before the transition so maybe this is why it went smoothly with us. I did actually offer a catnap right up until the time it got too late but I would wake her after 20 minutes to preserve her bedtime, this worked really well to avoid OT before bedtime.

BTW I found our magic number by running late two days in a row for getting back for her nap and she fell asleep in her puchchair at 4hrs30 both days and slept longer than she ever had.

Good luck, you should maybe chat with the mums on the 2-1 switch thread, Katt 

[andibig]

At 19 months I don't think 5.5 hours is too much but probably the maximum amt time I'd keep her awake.so if you go down the 1 nap option like i did then start at 10.30 for 2-3 days then 11,then 11.30 etc.better to do it gradually like that than 10.30 one day 12.30 the next.basically you are giving her body a chance to reset its clock.

if you do 2 naps, i'd aim for the catnap 2.5hrs-3hrs after shes woken up and then maybe the 2nd nap 3hrs after shes woken from the 2nd nap.i'm sort of guessing with times here but don't have the PM nap too late as it will impact on her night sleep.

[Mom to M&M]

At 19 months I'd aim for 4.5-5 hours after waking for nap. So if she's waking at 7, I'd lay her down at 11:30 and hopefully she's asleep somewhere between 11:30-12. The short morning catnap and long afternoon nap never worked for DD but I know others who had success with it...

[~Lori~]

So sorry to hear that you are going through this...sounds like we are in the same boat.  My DD is 19 months (on Thursday) and we've been on 1 nap for 1.5 months.  Yesterday she took a 1 hr nap (only sleeps around 11-11.5 hrs at night still) but today she is still sleeping at 2 hours...this is the first day she's done a 2hr nap for me in about that long.

It is soooooo frustrating trying to figure out what works.  I have stuck to a 12:30 nap (she wakes up around 7).  I find if I put her down earlier, she doesn't sleep any longer, and then she has to go to bed so early at night.  On days that I work and have to get her up at 6:15, the baby sitter still puts her down at 12:30.  She tends to sleep longer on those days.

I am hoping (for all our sakes) that the 2-1 transition smooths out.  I don't know about you, but I'M the one who really feels thrown off.

[Layla]

{{{{HUGS}}}}

We actually chose a time & stuck to it... So rather than counting hours from the time she woke, I put her down religiously around 11am (generally she wakes around 6am) & then I saw that she was just taking 45min naps - maybe 1hr long. So I pushed nap time to 11.30 & now working towards 12pm. She is now waking up around 6.30am... with a 5.30-6am some days. I think also cutting night sleep might be part of the solution as if she's sleeping 12hrs at night, 1hr during the day might be all that she needs. The av is about 13hrs... so you could try to push bedtime about 15mins or so and make sure that she wakes around the same time in the morning... that is.. no more than 11hrs at night so that the other hour can add onto nighttime (make sure its very low key though).

You might also want to try w2s... so put her down at say 12.30pm & about 35mins into her nap you could try stirring her so that the nap is longer than 45mins???

[newmaze]

Thanks Layla...

I put her down later a few nights back, and my DH woke her up earlier than normal because a box fell from the closet.  She still only napped for an hour.  I think it is just her.......

Today I did a late nap because we had music class, so in bed by 12:45.  She was up at 1:45, and still in the crib, though.  Playing/talking/annoyed all in one! 

I am really confused about which route to go.  I think setting a time and sticking to it, and then gradually moving it back may be best.  Only problem with that is that alot of times I am out and it is hard to get back by 11:-- or whenever.  Maybe I should stick with 11:30 because it was obvious that 12:45/1 was too late today (with a 7:30 wake up).

BY the way, I loved your inside winter tips about tiring them out.  I am going to try that tomorrow!  I just read it now!  We do that, but not before naptime, so I should start that. 

[Layla]

You're welcome . If she wakes at 7.30am then I think about 12pm would be a good time to start with (mine would start her day at 6am so with us 11am was the go). Try to tire her out though before the nap (about an hour before) & then lunch or big snack... allow some time for poo & then a nice windown for bed. Hopefully she will sleep a little longer than 1hr...

[newmaze]

thanks... still dealing with 45 mins or an hour.  I am beginning to think this is the hand I was dealt - great night sleeper, lousy napper.   

Today she woke at 7:30 but due to some circumstances, couldn't really get her into bed until 12:45.  Just trying to find that "magic A" time and get this working.  At this point, I am BEGGING for an hour or 1.15, or dare I ask, 1.5 hr.   

sigh...... does NO ONE else deal with this??

[Layla]

I dealt with it & plenty others do too. I think in order for her to take a longer nap she would have to have a shorter night. Is she doing 12hrs at the moment. I know you said she had a shorter night once but you would probably have to give it a go for 3-4 nights in a row. So I would maybe try waking her up slightly earlier like 15mins every couple of days or if you want her to sleep until 7.30am then you would have to put her to bed about 15mins later every couple of days. She should really be going to bed for the night about 8.30pm so that she sleeps 11hrs at night & 2hrs during the day... if thats what you are aiming for

Some babies are "stuck" on 45min naps/... you could try w2s when she's napping... about 30mins into her nap & stir her so that hopefully she will sleep past the 1st cycle

But no, you are not the only one going through it.