Transition to big boy bed was going well BUT gone AWOL...Help needed pls!

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Hi ladies. I am sorry i have been MIA, but we have been busy with holiday stuff. How is everything going?

 i am pleased to report that things are 95% better. In fact, things are the best they have been in almost 2 mths. Knock on wood, it took 3 days of gating my son in his room and 1 time of removing his toys to have him stay in bed. Since then he has come out of his room, but I tell him if he doesn't stay in bed then the gate will go up..... and he actually GOES TO BED!!!! i cant believe it! I hope i didn't jinx myself. I do keep the gate propped up at the end of the hallway as a visual reminder 

[Colin Macs Mom]

That is such great news! 

[kirsty_167]

Gages mum....thats great news well done!!

We are still having issues but hope too that this will come right. Jakob is still not happy about going to bed and still chases me to the door but he only cries out until I am back in the lounge then he settles down and plays imaginary games (he still has no toys in there!)

I guess it is better but i hope he does one day just go into bed and lay down for me without me feeling so bad that he isnt happy.

Still not sure what to do excpet what i am doing.

Kirsty

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Hi Kristy. How was your Christmas? How is Jakob doing? Gage has had the Croup for a week now so, his sleep is all over the place. Hopefully, we wont have to start from square one when he is better.

[kirsty_167]

HI

Wow snap...Jakob has had croup too starting Christmas eve!! He was one sick wee boy for 5 days and it really put a dampner on it all which was sad as it was his first real Xmas where he actually understood it all.

On the bed front....well actually im afraid to say it out loud...BUT bedtimes are alot better than they were. MAybe because he has only has one daytime nap in 3 weeks   he is so exhausted he falls into bed each night

He is still putting up protest but is actually staying on the bed the last few nights.....last night he slept 13 hours even (sooooo unheard of) I have decided that if he wont nap he goes to bed at 7ish. If he has a nap in the car he goes down a bit later. I am stressing less about the time he goes down as long as he isnt doing what he was 2 weeks ago.I think letting go on being so time orientated has meant im less stressed and maybe that is why Jakob isnt fighting as well??

Anyway...I hope you had a good Xmas and Gage is on the mend.
Thanks for thinking of us
Take care
Kirstyxx

[kirsty_167]

OHoh...knew I shouldnt have said anything out "loud"...Yesterday we went to the hot pools and Jakob fell asleep on way home at 4pm ..............so he did not go to sleep after going to bed at 8pm until 10pm GREAT Then fell out of bed at 6.30am but went back to sleep until 8.15am.

TOday he napped Tonight he is still awake and it is 9.15pm nearly.
I cant win!!!

I feel so stuck.
If he doesnt nap we cant go far as we dont want him sleeping on the way home.
If we stay home he gets awfully goruchy as he hasnt napped!
If he naps he is happy as BUT bedtime is so late

I have loooked at the thread "What does your toddlers day look like"....I couldnt find one where the child went to sleep later than 8pm.

While I said I have let go of the anxiety about what time Jakob goes to sleep.....it is still hard not to worry that this is abnormal and Jakob is somewhat hyperactive and I am doing something wrong?

I do the whole bedtime routine of bath,quiet play,teeth,stories and bed. I read for at least 20-30 minutes or until he yawns.

If Jakob wakes at 8-8.30am he just is not ready for a nap before 2,30pm (except days like today when he slept at 130 as he had such a bad night night before)

See what i mean.....Im between a rock and a hard place.

Any help/advice with; routine if he wakes after 8am?...;and not sleeping til late?

Thanks
Kirsty

[Claire Anne]

Oh Kirsty that’s lousy! But he is young to drop the daytime naps fully so some days will just go pear shaped no matter what you try to do about it!! I have had the same issues with a DS who would fall asleep in the car on the way home at the most inopportune moments!! But it will pass. Last week he fell asleep at about 6pm and he was too tired to be kept awake so what can you do? That night he probably didn’t sleep till 9.30 or 10 (just before his mother I suspect!) but even if he didn’t get quite enough sleep that night he caught up with it over the next couple of days. So will Jakob I bet.
I don’t think you are doing anything wrong – you’re too hard on yourself! Once you can get the stress out of bedtime it makes it all a lot easier and when things do go wrong it won’t feel like quite the disaster when things are slightly off the rails!
Coming from one who has had plenty of hassle with a child who was a terror at bedtime till he was about 2, I really feel for you and know exactly how stressful the whole thing can be, but I think you are doing really well and it will probably just take time for things to settle fully.
Keep up the good work!!!
Fingers crossed all went ‘swimmingly’ last night!!

[ammie32]

Hi there!  I have a 2.5 year old boy and a new baby coming anyday now!  I have been very reluctant to put into his big boy bed for the very reasons you all describe.  Especially because he is into everything still and I really don't trust him.  I put the bed guards on the bed to prevent him from falling out and hopefully climbing out, but my gut still tells me to keep him in his crib longer.  I don't think that I can handle a newborn and the big boy bed issues!

When you did transition your little ones, did you start with just naps and eventually all sleep?  I was thinking of maybe testing the waters with just a nap first to see what he does.  I also think that Owen will enjoy being in his big boy bed so maybe even telling him that him getting out will mean he has to return to his crib.  That might be an incentive to stay put??? 

This is a milestone so I want to be sure that I do it right!  Hearing all of your stories makes me inclined to hold off!  He will be 3 in May and the baby will be in our room for a few months anyway.  I am not sure if transitioning 2 kids is easier either.  Ugh!  It's all such a complicated situation! 

Ammie

[kirsty_167]

Claire Ann..thank you, you put a  on my face thank you thank you for your kind words of support.

I know I am too hard on myself but mothers tend to do that

Stress out of bedtime...what's that lol
 guess it isnt as bad as it was and I have to keep that in mind.The positives are
a) he stays in bed now
b) he sleeps on the bed all night and NOT the floor now
c) he tells me that bedtime means "go to sleep" (ie HE SO GETS IT cheeky monkey)
d) he fusses less when i leave
e) he is not calling out for me for hours on end
f) HE DOES GO TO SLEEP..eventually

Yesterday Jakob napped (after not the day before) he napped until 2.30 but it took me 20 mins to get him to wake up.So last night he went to be and did not go to sleep until 9,20..........but therer were not tears,or calling out. he just happily lay there naming all the Thomas trains ,this was sooo cute to listen to.

So in the broader picture,bedtime is alot better. He understands about the bed now and is not fearful of it anymore. He knows the "rules" so to speak and pretty much stays on the bed,or at least gets back on if he hears me coming

Ammie32.....remember all kids are different and my son has always been one to push all boundaries to the limit lol. He has never been easy for any transition. I expected this and overall it has got better after only 2 really hard weeks. Now it is smoothing over and getting on track.YOu need to do just what your gut tells you. With a new baby on the way you may just wait until you feel you can do it. Go with what you feel.When you do it you may find your child will take to it easily.Good luck with all of this and your new baby.

Kirsty

[Mom to M&M]

Kirsty - my DD is similar (although still in her crib for now) - she loves her nap and most days really needs it but that means that she often won't fall asleep until 8:50-9:15 (despite happily doing her bedtime between 8:15-8:30). Days she doesn't nap or only takes a short (30 minutes or less catnap) early enough she's asleep by 8pm but most days she really needs at least an hour if not 1.5 hours. We've learned not to worry about it as she's usually sleeping all night once asleep and sleeps until at least 7 most mornings. I know quite a few other BW moms of LOs around same age who do the same - so try not to worry - sounds like Jakob is doing great!

[ammie32]

Kirsty,
Thanks for your words of wisdom!  He will be home with me the next four days so I may try a nap and see how it goes.  It is nice to know that some kids take right to it.  I hope that's mine!  I will let you know how it goes. 

[kirsty_167]

Ammie32.......
We put a big boy bed in with Jakob for a week before he went in it. We had told him for ages it was coming soon etc. We talked to him about no longer being a baby and needing to go into a big boy and how lucky he was etc etc.

We intended on starting with the bed at naptime on the weekend as he is in daycare during the week but in the end he actually went in it first at bedtime  One day he didnt nap so we put him in the bed knowing he was so exhausted he would go to sleep. I know i have read to try starting with naps then progress to bedtime but each to their own and i guess it has to be what suits you best.

Like I said all children are different. Im sure you will be just fine!!!!!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Larissa's mum ...thank you for your support. I wish I knew other people who had children who went to sleep late.....everyone i meet cant believe i "let" jakob go to sleep so late.....LIKE i have a say in it !  If he would go to sleep when i said he would be asleep at 7pm!!!
Kirsty

[Mom to M&M]

LOL Kirsty! I can't say I wish DD went to bed too early as DH and I love our evenings with her but asleep by 8:15 or so would be ideal - definitely before 8:30. But right not it's 9:06 and she's still singing, counting, screeching, laughing, etc in her crib (despite going in there happily at about 8:15). She definitely napped for too long today (almost 2 hours).

[kirsty_167]

OH great Marissa mum...........another LO up till my son is!!! YIppeeeeeeee he is NORMAL PHEW!!!!

I say he would be in bed by 7pm as by then he is knackered if he hasnt slept and im knackered from running around after him all day!!   Trust me Jakob is an everready battery and goes and goes and goes lol!!

Kirsty

[Mom to M&M]

Marisa passed out right after I wrote that - so by 9:10. Tomorrow definitely no more than 1.5 hour nap!