Something is working for us, and I feel great! (UPDATED)

[rinajack]

Yes do ride it out. Zara has been sleeping with us for 2-3 weeks now, and we are down to only 1 wakeup where I need to acknowledge her, the rest I am not sure if she is awake or restless iykwim, and last night, I actually didn't get disturbed by her at all . 

[andibig]

I really wanted to agree with everyone regarding sleep training.sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break and be realistic.theres only so long we can go on with little or no sleep..
Remember i said in my previous post i started sleeping in DDs room,i did it cos i was so tired and with working shifts .became totally obsssed with her routine as well and i thought ,hang on i'm not enjoying being with her .

 i really hope co-sleeping helps both of you and you can get some sleep at long last.once he has caught up on his sleep then hopefully a better routine will fall into place and then we can look at a different sleep training method.

oh to answer your question about bedtime (!) it really depends on how long he naps.normally DDs nap is about 5.5hrs after her nap has finished so it his nap finishes at around 1pm then aim for a bedtime of around 6.30ish.
HTH

[Ethans Mommy2]

Thank you everyone for all the advise!!  We have decided that WI/WO just isn't the best for Ethan, at least not right now, I think we are still going to sort of go that route for bedtime, but if he wakes, I think we will just pull him in bed with us, and once he's comfortable being in our room, we will move him to the Toddler futon that his Grandma Sue gave him tonight for Christmas... which he loves!!!!  I have also decided to take all of your advice and simply let go, I just want to enjoy being my baby's mommy iykwim!!    I do plan on getting the book on Spirited Children though, it really couldn't hurt at this point. 

Merry Christmas!!!  And many hugs to you all!

xoxoxo
Lola

[Ethans Mommy2]

Hey Stacy!  I totally get where you are coming from, however, he is no longer in his crib, when he realized that DH and I would not come running to his beck and call he taught himself how to PROPEL out of his crib, so his Dr. told us to get a toddler bed.  So every time he wakes he's up and out of his room.     As for doing WI/WO on an unhappy baby, for awhile, he'd get out of his bed, but he wouldn't be upset at all, he'd wait in the hallway for either me or DH to pick him up and place him back in his bed, and it would only be a few times.  But the past week and a half, he shoots out of bed, and is SCREAMING!!!  He will do this over, and over, and over...without a break... I'm talking 45 min, to an hour!  I don't understand why we've had such a set back.  Even though he still had NW's he was so easy to put down.   

I do understand that him sleeping with us could create more problems, it's something I've been against, however I feel like we've tried everything!     GGGRRR Toddlers!  LOL

[Layla]

Why not camp out in his room instead? If sleeping with you is something you don't want to do but feel like its the last option, maybe him staying in his bed still & you being in his room istead would be a better way to get past the OT cycle & then you can look at sleep training again.

I don't know... I just have to remember my childhood when I think of letting them sleep in our bed. I did the same thing to my mum... would come to her room up to 10times a night & she had no energy to put me back or fight me so I ended up in the family bed until I was 11yo.... & even then I would still sneak in to her bed well after than but I do remember wanting my own privacy when I was entering the teenager stage. I think co-sleeping is fantastic but as long as everyone is happy with it & in my family's case my dad was the miserable one... who spent many nights on the couch .

And I totally agree on the earlier nap & bedtime to help with overtiredness

Good luck

[Ethans Mommy2]

I think the reason I've been so against him sleeping with us, is because from the time he was born all we've been told is that they should ALWAYS sleep in their own beds, and if they become accoustomed to sleeping with us, then they will never know how to sleep in their own beds.  My DH has wanted Ethan to sleep with us from the time he was born!     So right now, he's on cloud nine!  I keep telling Ethan that THIS can not be our answer b/c daddy will never let mommy live it down.  LOL  As for the gate at the door, we tried that, and he just got so mad he climbed over it... and we have tile in our hallway, so I was worried he would hurt himself.  I think that if he wakes in the middle of the night we will try to get him to sleep in his own bed, but if it's one of those times where he is fighting us all the way, we will try to get him to lay down either on his futon, or in our bed... so far that is our plan... and for the next few days, it's all about his sleep schedule, now that we got through Christmas, and all our company!  LOL 

Hope everyone had a great Holiday!

[Lilah'sMommy]

I think the reason I've been so against him sleeping with us, is because from the time he was born all we've been told is that they should ALWAYS sleep in their own beds, and if they become accoustomed to sleeping with us, then they will never know how to sleep in their own beds. 

There's this bizarre notion with kids that if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile.  Honestly, if having him sleep with you gets everyone the sleep they need, AND if both you AND dh feel comfortable with it, there's absolutely no reason you can't do it, even if it's just to get you over this hump.  There's no reason you have to do it forever, either.  AND, there's no reason anyone else needs to know about your sleeping arrangements!   Even (especially) your pediatrician!

I think your plan sounds reasonable.  As he gains more verbal understanding, you can tell him that if he wakes up at night he can come creep quietly into your room and go to his futon.  Or, you may have decided that it's time to get him back into his own room by then.  Either way, it's totally doable and it's entirely up to you, your DH, and your DS.  Don't let everyone else's ideas of where your child should sleep make you miserable!

[Ethans Mommy2]

Thanks Sabrina!  Well, he slept from 7:15 last night to 6:00 AM... with NO NW'S, and he went right to sleep at nap time today, as well as bedtime!!  Now, I in no way shape or form feel we've licked the dreaded NW's, but WOW how great it was to sleep a t little more!  I woke a bit in shock he hadn't woken up yet!  LOL  I do plan on keeping my fingers crossed though!  But if he wakes, and we can not get him to sleep in his bed, he will come into ours, at least for a little while...   Thanks again!  xoxox

[andibig]

so glad he slept well .
what did it feel like getting a whole nights sleep !!
Keep us up dated hun

[Ethans Mommy2]

Ok, NOT thinking that we've licked anything in the bud... BUT I do have to say 5 nights sleeping through, and the past few nights, we just put him down, and he hasn't even gotten up once!!!  Probably a fluke, but it's the BEST feeling fluke EVER!!!  LOl  Sleeping through is amazing... however I wake up quite often listening, wondering, and waiting.... I feel good!   

[rinajack]

LOL. What do you think made the difference - just you relaxing a bit?

[Ethans Mommy2]

I'm not sure, I do think that has something to do with it...  but we switched his 'outside' play from the mid-morning to later in the afternoon.  Now while we cook dinner, we are outside running, and running, and running!!  Maybe he needed to be worn down with physical activity later in the day... he didn't even get out of his bed when I put him down last night, and he didn't wake up until 5:30... our plan is that if he wakes before 6:00 AM, then we will just bring him into our bed until at least 6:00.  It seems to be working out, he doesn't really get into a deep sleep, but he rests, and allows dh and I a chance to get a few more minutes of sleep.  Who knows, but right now we are ALL in a GREAT MOOD!!!!  WOO HOO!

[aisling]

 

[andibig]

Ooohh I love good news like that

[rinajack]

Soooo pleased for you