12 month old with 30-45 min naps

[skatty]

Hi Leslie, I am so sorry it's so bad for you at the moment but I think it is critical you  keep M on one nap for consistancy. Did she wake anymore during the night? What time did she wake this morning (once you are up!)

Bless your mum for helping out 

[MommaHolmes]

Hmmm... looking back, she's been back on one nap for almost a week now and I can see why you're frustrated as it looks like things are getting worse, not better 

It's possible that one nap was the right thing to do before she got ill, but that she needed a much longer recovery period with two naps after her illness.

Give it another couple of days with one nap and if there is still no improvement then I think we need to help you come up with another plan 

Hang on in there mate 

[lesorl]

Thanks for the support girls- I heard her again about 8:57pm, but it was brief and she settled herself.

But again, she woke for the day at 5:27am.  Should I try W2S tonight at about 4am?

In my next life, I want a child that loves sleeping!

[NiknLily]

I'm never too sure on W2S.  I'm pretty sure 4am would be too early if your getting 5.30am wake ups as that would be 1.5hrs before wake up and likely to be at the end of a sleep cycle.  I would post the question separately about what time would be best.

Will she not re settle with you in the room in the early am?  it took L a few days but she got it in the end and when it's that or get up at silly o'clock for the day I chose to lay on the floor for an hour or so just so I was still resting (I'm the grumpiest person going when tired  ) and for us it did work.

OK no need to post, just looked it up.  Tracy said to go in 1hr before normal wake up.  OK, this is I think where it differs with a toddler from a young baby, she said to go in change LO's nappy and then put back to bed, explaining that its too early to start the day, lets go back to sleep.  She does say they may get a bit cranky but hopefully go back to sleep.  That said her example is of a toddler who is still on 2naps and needs pushing onto 1 nap but is waking at 6am instead of 7am.  I guess what she suggests would work with a toddler who isn't already OT but personally I think waking them that fully when already OT you run a huge risk of her not going back to sleep at all and starting day at 4.30am   

So its up to you, maybe try the more gentle w2s as for young babies and see what happens.

[MommaHolmes]

So no NW between 8:57pm and 5:27am??
That sounds like progress to me!

I am also a bit sceptical about W2S, especially when a LO is OT and sleeping very lightly anyway. I think you may have difficulty getting her to settle if you disturb her and so end up starting your day even earlier.

As the NW are settling down, I think the EW will start to sort out soon also if you stick to what you have been doing.

[lesorl]

I just screwed up- I put M down at 10:25am.  She began rubbing her eyes before 9am, and I held her off as long as I could.  We couldn't get out of the house- it's way too cold.  She was begging for sleep.

I'm going to pay for this, aren't I? 

Stupid, stupid mommy.

[MommaHolmes]

Not necessarily, just wait and see what the day brings and don't give yourself a hard time 

[lesorl]

OK, so here's how it went-

5:27am Awake
10:25am-11:12am Nap, managed to extend til 11:52am
4:50pm Bedtime

I'm thinking about W2S at 4:27am, but am not sure.  Maybe I'll give it another day to see if she wakes at the same time.

She never settles in the room in the morning when I'm in there- almost always, once she's up she's up.

[lesorl]

I think I need a new plan-

After she went to sleep at 4:50pm, she was up at 5:15pm.  That's only 25 mins after she went to sleep!!  The first NW is getting closer to bedtime- that can't be a good sign.  It's now an hour later, and she's still awake.

Help me please- I'm losing my mind.

[lesorl]

OMG- she's still awake, and it's almost 7:30pm!!!!

[skatty]

Oh no Leslie, She sounds very OT and I  really don't know what to suggest  I do have to say that Leorah has had the odd 2 nap day when she has fallen asleep in the pushchair or in the car but to be honest however little I let her sleep for that ultra catnap it has always led to a short second nap. How did she sleep in the end last night? Hopefully you have had a later wake up.

In the morning does she cry? Is it a proper distressed I need you cry or a bit of a moan? If Leorah does wake early she will normally have a moany tired cry and I will leave her unless it is ongoing and she is genuinely upset, she will normally go back to sleep after chatting for a little while or I will get her up at 7.30am. I know it will be hard for you but maybe you should decide on what you think is a decent wake up time and then do WI/WO until then. L is now used to WI/WO so would rather play in her cot or lie down than have me go in and say "sshh" or "it's still nighttime" over and over again, I know this method has worked for some. After a year they can definitely understand more and I think any morning crying is more out of frustration, tiredness and anger at not having mum on demand to play with! If the wake up could get later again it takes a bit of the pressure off the nap.

This can't last forever, something has to give in the end  Good luck today 

[lesorl]

So here's how the rest of the night went-

She finally went b2s at 7:53pm
2nd NW at 1:53am/ 1 WI/Paci/PD
3rd NW at 2:47am, but settled herself
Awake for the day at 5:05am, and wouldn't go b2s

I'm planning on 2 naps today, 1st one at 9am.  Depending on how long it lasts, next nap will be around 1-2pm.

But I'm stuck on what I should do with her in the future?

[MommaHolmes]

I actually think that going back to two naps is the right thing to do 
You've given it a good go this time and I just don't think there is enough improvement to keep on and on with this strategy - at some point, we have to admit that it isn't working!

I think it *was* working before she was ill, but as I've said before, it seems as though she may need a good few weeks recovery period. I don't think it's uncommon for LOs to start transitioning to one nap and then to regress for a couple of months following illness.

Your plan for today sounds sensible. I'd still keep bedtime quite early if she takes the second nap, maybe 6pm at the latest. If that works out OK then stick to the same plan tomorrow - the consistency is still important once you've hit on something that is workable (and lets just
hope that that happens REAL soon!)

x

[NiknLily]

See how 2 naps goes today.  If it seems to help then I would be tempted to do it again for a while.  I would be aiming for 5.30/6pm bedtime tonight.  I think when they get super OT early bedtime can sometimes backfire which may well be happening here, its as tho' they get too tired to make up for lost sleep at night so only do 11-11.5hrs or less which just keeps pushing the wake up earlier.  

I think if it hepls get her caught up on sleep then I would go for it again with the 1 nap.  If I remember you where getting 5.30ish wake ups and 2x30min naps before you switched to 1 nap and although it was tough going the 1 nap did start to get longer after a couple of weeks and wake ups started getting later, so we know it can and will work for her on 1 nap and we know 2 naps are no longer the long term answer as they just weren't working.

I know its soooo hard and super frustrating.  I really thought L would never nap properly again and would cry almost every day at either nap or bed time or both.  Really wish I could be there to give you a huge great hug, put your feet up with a cuppa and look after M for you, but all I can offer is a HUGE CYBER HUG  

And if it makes you feel any better at all, rest assured I still don't get it easy with L naps, today she is refusing to go to sleep at all, all I can here is Mummy, mummy, UUUPPPPP!!!!! we will of course have super hyber baby on our hands this afternoon and will get plenty of NW's tonight, so your not alone  

now shes saying "norny (naughty) mummy, norny mummy, norny mummy UP!"

[lesorl]

Thank you all for the support- I really feel like I could be put in a mental institution from trying to figure this out.

Here's how it went today:

5:05am Awake
9:02am-9:43am Nap 1 (I think undertired)
1:47pm-2:30pm Nap 2 (too much A time, but my mom was watching her, and I didn't get home until 1:15pm, so there was some miscommunication)
5:30pm Asleep

Depending on when she wakes tomorrow (and how many NWs we have), do I:

  - aim for 1st nap at 4 hours 25 mins A time (this worked at least once last week and got a 1 hour 25 min nap; and from today it looks like 4 hours is not enough A time), and then give a catnap in the afternoon (or in my case, her usual 30-40 min nap)
  - keep the 1st nap at 4 hours A time, assume it will be 40 mins or so, and have the next nap at 3 hours 30 mins A time from wakeup

Since M's napping has always been horrific, I don't know which nap may be easier.

Thoughts?