12 month old with 30-45 min naps

[NiknLily]

Yes I would definately try w2s for her nap.  I think if you went in at 20-25mins after she falls asleep.  Personally I would stick this out just a few more days before you tweak anything, BUT, its your call, your her mum, so if you think you need to bring her nap down then by all means do it, personally I would stick to set earlier time rather than mix things up by going by A time.  But again its your call.  If you want to go by A times of 4.5-5hrs in am and 4.5hrs in pm then do it.

I didn't ever go back to 2 naps when I comitted to one nap but I know some do and it works for them.

The trouble with this transition I found was that if it goes badly, it totally knocks all your confidence as a mum.  I felt like I just didn't know what was best for Lily, which as a BW mum, doesn't sit well.  We are here to advise you where we can and support you all you need but if your not confident what your doing is right then don't do it, and tell us so too.

What do you think you should be doing with M's routine at present to help her through this transition?

Laura - your a brave woman, hes still sooooo young    Best of luck tho  

[lesorl]

      

I have no idea what to do- I'm so tired of having a child.  I absolutely hate it.

Tonight she won't go to sleep.  Somebody put me out of my misery.

[MommaHolmes]

Huge (((((HUGS))))) Leslie 

[skatty]

This could come across as really annoying as you are in the thick of a very frustrating hard situation but there is a thread in the Lounge called "helping- one child at a time" and it is a pic of a little girl in Iraq who has lost her whole family and was shot in the head and there is one soldier that calms her down and he is spending his nights holding her in an uncomfy chair, heartbreaking  Anyway so I just wanted to mention it as it really made me appreciate the fact that I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband and family and sometimes we really have to remember how lucky we all are.

I have been where you are Leslie and I know it is hell but this situation can't last forever and I am so sorry I have no advice but it will be a real shame if when you look back on this time that you haven't enjoyed M at this age, when L was a newborn she was so poorly with her MSPI I really missed out on enjoying her and I can never get that back  Is there any chance that your mum could look after her for a whole weekend so you could have some time out with your DH? Or maybe you could go away for a weekend and leave your DH with her (your welcome to pop to Denmark  ) because I think you really need a proper break. You never know the change of person, especially if they don't follow "the routine" could maybe work! If it doesn't at least you will be a bit refreshed.

Is she crying or just not going to sleep? If she is not crying just leave her to it because you can't make her sleep and she will wind down in time. Sorry I have been all philosophical (sp) tonight but that thread on off topic has battered me a bit 

[Mama2boys]

hi Lesorl,

this might not be the most politically correct of all solutions, but please try Chamomile with your LO. Its homeopathic and no side effects, the pills are sweetish so babies don't mind them, it will help her relax and fall asleep.

Its also available in the form of sachets called Teetha, normally used when lo is teething...but it really helps my LO and helps him fall asleep. Please do remember its not a medicine induced sleep, its only because it helps the LO relax and calm down.

Hope that helps. I completely understand where you are at present I am also struggling with sleep training my LO who i also 12/13mo. PITA for sure!
We deal with multiple NW's.

Take care
Mukta

[lesorl]

Katt- it does put it in perspective.

She's been crying on/off.  It started when I left the room (1st night of GW) and continued for another hour +.  I don't know if I'm making it worse by going in there.

Mukta- thanks for the advice.  I actually had given her chamomile gels about 10 mins before she fell asleep.

So here's how today went:

4:21am- 4:55am chatting
4:55am-5:15am WI/PD/WO
5:15am-5:48am On/off cries
5:48am-6:19am asleep
11:18am-11:48am Nap
B2S from 11:52am-12:10pm
4:40pm in crib
5:49pm?  Asleep

We're in for a fun night (yet again)!

Not sure how much longer I can do this mothering thing.

[Mama2boys]

count me in Lesorl..I'm totally with you. But when I see the LO whimper with teething pain or just hold me tight, I manage to forget all my frustration and just want to hold him tight. He will grow up so quickly and I will miss holding him. What also keeps me going is the fact that Ds was 5 months old, on absolutely no schedule, nursed to sleep, wanted a feed every 2 hrs, feeds lasted 1 hr, suffered from reflux and so on and oh I was starting full time work as well.
We have come  along way in about 7 months..and since we survived that we will also survive this and in a few months time, will look back at these faint memories.....

[skatty]

Hi Leslie, I would so WIWO rathere than GW, sounds like M gets distracted with you in the room and takes even longer to settle.

Mukta it sounds like you have come a long way and I am sure you will get through this patch too 

What is it with the hour of 4am, L has had a few nights in the last few weeks where she will wake coughing around 4am and then talk away for up to an hour and it seems a common time when LOs are waking  I think it's baby witching hour!!

Hopefully M will still have got at least 12 hours sleep last night after her bedtime resistance and will wake up at a better time this morning 

[lesorl]

Katt- You may be right, though it seems like she gets more worked up after I leave.

Not a terrible night, considering-

5:49pm Asleep
7:21pm Stirring
7:58pm Crying - Paci replaced, 1 WI/WO
5:50am Awake

We have a doctor's appt. today at 10am, and I suspect she'll fall asleep in the car on the way home.  I think I may leave her sleeping if that happens.

[NiknLily]

Leslie, so sorry you feel so lowe over this, I didn't battle Lily's sleep for anyway as near as you have struggled with M, but I do know how you feel, we all do, and you will come through it even though it doesn't feel like it will ever end.

Have you re-read this thread yet, in its entirety? if not, please do, it will be a good reminder of exactly what you have been through, what you tried and the outcome.

Let us know how today goes.

I know we have discussed this before, but have you had M checked for food allergies and intollerances etc, also did you ever approach a specialist sleep expert, if not I still think you should.  How is the sleep training going? Do you feel like you are getting there? She will start to sleep a whole lot better when she is sleeping completly independantly, the difference can be amazing in some LO's. 

have my fingers crossed you get a good nap, whenever & wherever she takes it 

[lesorl]

The only thing that sticks out with my diary (other than M is a horrible napper) is the 1 nap was beginning to work, but I was extending that nap with APOP.

M sees a GE for reflux, and she's assured me that she doesn't have any food allergies or intolerances.

As for sleep expert, I have the name of someone but she specializes more in Mother-child interaction, not sleep. 

Sleep training is challenging- today I had to stand by her crib until she fell asleep.  Feel like we're going backward.

She fell asleep on the way to the doctor about 9:35am (again, she NEVER does this), and slept maybe 1-2 mins.  She then gave me a hard time with her nap at 11:20am, but got to sleep about 11:36am.  I expect 30 mins and will try to extend.

[skatty]

Allergies can be ruled out with testing but there is no way to test for an intolerance the only thing you can do is eliminate foods and keep a food diary which I think would be worth doing.

Have you tried the WIWO again? She is probably geting mad when you leave because you have started standing by the crib sometimes and other times do WIWO, she responded really well to WIWO, I'd stick with that id I were you.

How did the nap go?

[MommaHolmes]

Have you tried contacting any of these organisations?
Sleep specialists in NYC (oops, link doesn't quite work - just choose City and type in New York and it brings up about 7 different places)

I can't believe that there aren't any professionals in NYC dealing with infant sleep problems in a way that does not involve leaving them to cry.

Will keep looking for you 

[lesorl]

Well we had a 33 min nap, 11:36am-12:09pm, and managed another 29 mins til 12:40pm.  Improvement?  Maybe- the last few days she's only gone b2s for about 10-15 mins.

Thanks for the tip Laura.

Katt- I'll keep trying WIWO.  She's been leaning over the crib crying, and then her paci falls out.  Not sure what to do about that one.

[NiknLily]

Just keep going in, replacing paci lay her down, reassure her she is OK, then WO. 

Beleive me she will try every trick in her book to keep you in the room, its really easy to get sucked back into their games.  Unless she has actually got SA, which you haven't mentioned so I'm assuming she doesn't then really all you need to do is WI/WO.  I only used GW to get out of Lily's bedroom as I had to touch her for her to fall asleep and like most props this then got so me being there was stopping her from sleeping.  If you feel you need to do gw, then you should be taking it slow, you don't get out of the room until they have fallen asleep for some time, you just move that little bit further from the cot, than you where the last time she went to sleep.  Thats why Tracy recommends using a chair, which you place a little further away for every sleep and only move the chair when they are not in the room so they don't actually ever see the chair move.  Once I was out of the room I started WI/WO and this is all I do now, unless she is unwell for example and genuinly needs the extra comfort.

If doesn't have SA then really WI/WO will work, but like anything you have to be totally consistant, everytime your not its 3 or 4 steps back again 

I would say that is definitly an improvement extending her nap for another 30mins, for her that is 2 sleep cycles so thats fantastic