WWYD - Taking care of long, thick & v curly hair

[Layla]

Isabella's hair is very thick & v curly. Its long now... past her shoulders & I have only just about 2 months ago figured out how to wash it w/o her crying every single time. But brushing is a nightmare & I need help in this department. The slightest pull with send her off & she won't let me go near it again for another 5mins or so... so it takes me a good 40-50mins to brush it. Its come down to me ONLY brushing her hair when its been washed b/c its too much hassle otherwise & we only wash her hair about once every couple of weeks (unless its hot here & she sweats in which case I will wash it more frequently).

So I am wondering... is the fact that I wash it once every couple of weeks ok??? The fact that its so curly & long makes it ok for me just to put a headband on or a ponytail. How can I make brushing more pleasant? I don't want to not brush at all cause then she's going to have dreadlocks, lol.

I use J&J baby shampoo... no conditioner.. actually not even sure if they have baby conditioners (never looked into that) .

Should I rather part her hair & do 2 plats instead?

TIA
Layla

[daybyday]

Layla

My friend is a hairdresser and recently joined the site, I'll pm her and see if she has some advice for you!

 

[cindymadcam]

I know with my dd (starting when she was about 3) I use salon leave in conditioner (it's mine as I have long hair too - brand name I am currently using is AG Fast Food).  Also use the spray in detangler sometimes.  I don't see a huge concern with washing it less often - might be more difficult in summer if she is out in the playground getting sand in it and such. 

I have also had my dd select which brush we use.

To keep it less tangled I also would look at braids more often.

Good luck to you.

Good luck with

[Layla]

Thank you so much for replying

Can I ask a few more things... with brushing, I am actually using a comb.. would a brush be better or should I get a comb with wider tooths (not sure if thats what its called ).. you know the ones that are more spread out. Also I brush her starting from the bottom up.. is that better than top to bottom in regards to getting rid of knots or does that have nothing to do with it  (I've been doing it this way cause thats what my mum used to do).

Thank you again

[binxyboo]

I used to sit for a girl with really curly hair, hated having it brushed etc. What helped a bit was actually holding the hair into bunches while brushing it....seperate the hair into bunches, and then gather it in your hand as though making a ponytail, and then brush the tail part. Holding it in your hand kind of takes the stress off the scalp, so when you brush, she doesn't feel it dragging from her scalp. Sorry if that makes no sense...I'll come back tomorrow and try to phrase it better!

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Having a similar prob with dd at the moment though her hair is no where as curly as your dds. Washing it has become a nightmare with lots of screaming which we never had before. Brushing it on a daily basis is also a nightmare, am almost at the stage where I have to bribe her. I let her chose her brush and she chose a wide almost flat one with Snowwhite on it. I start from the top and brush to where the tangles are at the bottom. Then I put it in a ponytail, gather the end of the ponytail in my hand and brush really fast. I stopped the soft approach when we get to the end cos she is going to cry anyway so I just do it really quickly. Am on a mission this week to find the J&J detangling spray.

[Layla]

Michelle - that makes perfect sense & infact that is exactly what I do. I do it in stages... take a bunch into my hand & brush from the bottom up while holding it so that it does take the pressure off. But because I don't brush it very often (and maybe thats where I am going wrong), it gets really knotty. The back of her hair is the worst cause she is now mostly a back sleeper so her moving around at night obviously adds more knots. I think what I might do is look into baby conditioner & maybe trying to brush in the shower . I am being totally selfish by not wanting to cut it off cause that by far would be the easiest thing to do .

Fiona - Isabella also screamed as soon as we mentioned hair washing. A few months ago by chance I took her little chair into the shower & put a pair of her sunglasses on (we bought it the day before so she was really excited about wearing them all day long) rather than washing it in the bath & it was a miracle breakthrough!!! The glasses kept the water off her eyes... which is what she hated the most but didn't like wearing those special bath hats or let me close her eyes nor did she close eyes on her own. I also hung up some things in the shower (from the ceiling) so that when it would be time to wash her hair I would ask her to look up at that thing I hung up & that worked really well. So for the last few months that we have washed hair its been in the shower with her sitting on the little chair, her sunglasses on & also I gave her a cup with bubbly water & a wooden spoon as she likes to "mix" bubbles.

I might go looking for that product as well.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Actually dd will wear the hat cos she has been wearing it since she was small and holds a cloth over her eyes. Her latest lament is that she can't hear anything  she sits there screaming Mommy I cant hear. So might try ear plugs to stop the water going in her ears and tell her in advance that she wont hear anything, will try anything at this stage. Have toyed with getting her hair trimmed but it's really long, way down her back and the curls are only at the end at this stage and selfish me would like to see them there just a bit longer 

[daybyday]

bump for my friend

[daybyday]

okay layla, looks like she's having difficulties....so in a nutshell...this is what she told me

It is perfectly okay to go long periods of time not "washing" her hair, you may need to use conditioner in between, but traditionally washing is not necessary.

She also mentioned a round soft bristled brush that might be easier on her...or a WIDE toothed comb. Brushing while IN the bath is best, combing conditioner in. An adult conditioner is okay, although they DO sell baby/toddler conditioner. Just be careful of the eyes.

Now this is ME talking, I would plat/braid her hair after a bath, and leave that in for a couple days. And it might give you more longevity for keeping the knots out of her hair

Sorry it took so long to get back to you...hope you didn't cut it!

[Layla]

Marie, thank you so much for replying back on behalf fo your friend 

Funny you posted cause yesterday was the 1st time I washed it since I posted my question & I was going to update today how it went. Its been really hot here & her hair smelt rotten so I couldn't stand it anymore & went for it (mind you I picked the worst time cause she no longer naps & I washed her hair at 4pm.. which is when she is at her crankiest). But still.. with daddy outside the shower pulling faces at her to make her laugh, she let me wash it. I put conditioner in (the one we use) & combed it in the shower. Let me tell you... it was so much easier to comb with the cond in there... no pulling required at all!!! I then braided her hair & took it the braids out when she went to sleep. This morning again I braided it again & I am pretty sure from now on this is what I will be doing. Leaving it out only allows knots to form quicker.

Thank you again
Layla

[daybyday]

sounds to me like you figured everything out on your own, you smart lady! I think you're on the right track too with keeping it braided, especially in the heat.

 

Marie

[kendraak]

Hi Layla!

I literally feel your daughter's pain as I have very thick, curly hair also. If you want another styling option besides braids, you might try wetting her hair with water from a spray bottle in the morning and then combing it with a wide tooth comb and styling it however you like. Let it air dry and it will curl naturally.

My best tip would be - don't brush it- just comb when its wet- never try to brush or comb it when it's dry.

I always start combing at the ends and hold it kind of in a ponytail as PP said and then work my way to the front.

My mom used to use the J&J No More Tangles when I was little, but when I got older I'd just use water.

Hope that helps a little!
Kendra

[Layla]

Thank you Kendra .... using a spray bottle is a wonderful idea . I wouldn't brush/comb her hair if it were dry... I had long hair myself & remember my mum trying to brush me daily... i hated it . Yesterday was a success with the conditioner & the wider tooth comb & combing in the shower... so I will keep at it

[skatty]

I just want to say I had (still have actually!) long curly hair and I hated getting my hair washed and having it brushed, it was traumatic! My mum used to plait my hair a lot which meant no knots and she just had to redo them every morning. Leorah's hair is also very curly and getting long and I am only combing it when wet and using leave in conditioner everyday. DH washes her hair and she was screaming the other day and I told him that this is one time I will interfere, no way do I want her hating her hair washed, I used to have a crap day all Sunday knowing  was having my hair washed on sunday evenings and my dad was the just get it over and done with and let me scream kind. What's really sad is that he and my mum split up when I was 4 and I still remember how upset I used to get