how long to let mantra cry go for?

[hekele]

We've been working with our DS on naps for about a week now, taking away his paci cold turkey.  He's always had short naps, but when he does get a long nap is sooooo much happier.  What we're finding now is that when he wakes at around 40 minutes, he'll do his mantra cry and whine FOREVER.  He doesn't settle down.  He's done it for 30 minutes before, and I'm sure would have gone longer if I would have let him.  If the mantra cry does escalate, and I go in, it makes him even more upset.  I've gotten to the point where I hesitate to even touch him as anything from me or my husband makes him more upset (shh/pat, pu/pd, even just a hand on his chest). 

Is there a time limit on how long we should let him fuss?  If he wakes early, and fusses the rest of his hour and a half nap, is that ok?  I've wondered if maybe he doesn't need longer than 45 minute naps, but he's so much happier when he gets the long naps.  Any advice?  Thanks!

[Mileshunt]

Blimey!  I have the same question - thanks for posting!!! 

[Colin Macs Mom]

Are you certain it's a mantra cry? Mantras do not escalate, that's why I ask.     Generally if a LO is just fussing or doing a mantra you want to leave them alone and not interfere. But you know your LO best and if what they're doing is their way of telling you they need something then by all means go in.

[sherry lynn]

My little one is spirited and his mantra cry very quickly becomes a rage cry. So I find that I am intervening pretty early, is that okay? Or should I wait until it becomes an escalated cry?

[Colin Macs Mom]

What do you mean by a rage cry?

[momtothomas]

Wow, I hope someone gives some guidance on this issue... hekele, your post could have been taken directly from my brain.  I tried working with DS on naps about a month ago, and I just about lost it.  So, I gave in and either let him take 40 minute nap or hold him if I think he really needs a long one.  He too is much happier after a long afternoon nap, but is sometimes ok with 2 shorter ones in its place.  I know it's time to start working on them again.  sherrylnn, my DS is SUPER spirited as well and his mantra cry can turn into something more serious as well, but when it does, I know he's just tired and mad that he's up.

[sherry lynn]

I mean that it escalates quickly and is very loud and he gets very upset.

[sherry lynn]

momtothomas,
What do you do to help him out. We are having a very difficult day. I just got him down at 5:30. He has slept a total of 3 1/2 in the last 12 hours. He is just about 11 weeks, so I think he is going through his growth spurt, and he is trying to find his hands, furiously, so he is having a lot of trouble sleeping. I posted on here a couple of days ago about stuff, and it seemed that things were getting better and then at about 5 pm last night everything went down hill fast. I'm trying everything it says on here, there's such good advise, but it doesn't seem to work for my little spirited one.

[Colin Macs Mom]

sherrylnn, a mantra cry doesn't escalate. So probably he's doing his mantra and then breaks it.  You're right about it being growth spurt time and also developmental stuff is taking off at that age too. It really is tough, I know! My DS is also spirited and most everything is more of a challenge with that temperment. Consistency is even more important, and sometimes the spirited don't give sleepy cues. Colin never did   

[momtothomas]

sherrylnn - I've done any combo of pat/shush, rocking, etc.  But, at 11 weeks, I didn't let my DS cry much at all.  It wasn't until 6 months or so that I started that.  He's now 8 1/2 months, so he knows how to work Mom...   

[momtothomas]

Oh, and Colin's Mom - I LOVE the "Spirited + Reflux =" in your signature.  SO true!!!

[Colin Macs Mom]

Oh, and Colin's Mom - I LOVE the "Spirited + Reflux =" in your signature.  SO true!!!

   doesn't get any truer, eh? 

[dizzy]

What is a mantra cry? How do I know if he is doing one and what do I do then?

[Colin Macs Mom]

A mantra cry is very rhythmic, on a specific beat. It doesn't escalate but it can stop and start. Sometimes it's not even an actual cry but just a noise of some kind. The key is to try and find the beat. It's a LO's way of settling themselves, so if that's what you hear it's important that you don't interfere.

[hekele]

Hmmm, maybe I have been mistaking his real cries for a mantra cry.  If so, then he rarely does a mantra cry and just cries a lot instead     Well, I'll keep trying my best.  He's still getting more upset if I'm there versus not there though.  Maybe this week will show more improvement!!  Thanks!