More Frequent Night Wakings and Baby Can't Self Soothe At All!

[Estela's Mom]

Good Morning!  I'm writing this a very very tired Mommy!
So, I know I said things seemed to be going very well...but they kind of, well, they did get worse and worse as the day went on yesterday.
DD slept for 30 mins. only the first nap (the one I wrote about yesterday) then woke up.  I tried shh/patting her back to sleep, but she didn't fall back asleep at all up until her feed.
On my second nap attempt she cried and cried again and never fell asleep (1 3/4 hours), at which point we moved up her bedtime by 30 minutes and I fed her, did her bathtime and bedtime rituals, then put her in the crib at 7:30pm.
Then she woke at 7:45pm, 10:30pm, 1am, 3:30am, and 7am. 
Each time we shh/patted her back to sleep.
My question is: the shh/patting doesn't seem to do anything for her.  When we tried pu/pd, it seemed to aggrevate her more.
Is this normal for some babies?  If so, what should we do to comfort/support her while she is crying in the crib?
Usually, she goes to bed at 8pm, I do a dreamfeed at 10:45pm or so, then she wakes around 4:45am for a feed, and at 7am for the day.
I feel like, by trying to get her to sleep at naptime in the crib we are damaging our bedtime sleeping patterns. 
Has this happened to anyone else?  If so, did it go back to normal?
I'm just worried that we're doing something wrong, and kind of dreading her first nap this morning, which she is supposed to have in about 45 minutes!
Thank you!

[rob1lu2]

Yes it is very normal for babies. The shush patting didn't work for either one of my twins. What I did with Thing Two is just rest my hand on her chest. With thing one I sort of stroke her head. You have to find what works for Estela. Frankly, Thing One doesn't like any intervention and at this age, will often fling my hand away. So I just sit with her, occasionally touching her leg or something to let her know I am there.

What's happening is that she is OT and that's why she's waking more at night. I am currently going through a similar situation with daytime naps affecting night time sleep. My babies are able to settle themselves at night, but they are waking all through the night b/c they are not sleeping well during the day. Same as you - they've slept 30 minutes for their first nap and cried for the next hour. Slept 10 minutes for their second nap and then cried for an hour. They are exhausted and they are MAD!

I'm dreading their first nap today too. AND their second. Just persevere. It isn't fair to you or them/her to change things up on her. It just makes her more confused. I know it's tough - like I said I'm going through a similiar thing. So I'm not just saying it from an intellectual place but from a real place of two screaming babies who aren't sleeping and are pretty frustrated. It also leads me to wonder if I am doing the right thing and why am I torturing my babies. But I'm not torturing them. I am teaching them a new way to sleep. And they have 10 months used to the old way, so they are protesting.

Hey! That's life in the big city!

Let me know how it goes,
Lu

[Estela's Mom]

Lu, you're a lifesaver!  I feel bad that you're also going through this overtired/irrate baby  - with two, nonetheless! 
You are a calming voice, and I really appreciate it more than you know.
Estela actually is keeping to her EASY schedule (so far) today, and napped very well. 
I had a work-related meeting this AM, so had DH give her the first nap in case the process was taking a long time.
Needless to say, he did the nap wind down (walking through the house, then rocking in the glider for a few minutes), put her in the crib (drowsy but awake) and she slept immediately from 9:20 to 10:50am!!
I'm not sure if she is doing this to torture me, but I'm hoping for the best when it's naptime #2 at 1pm!
Sorry I'm venting so much, but it actually helps me keep sane in the moments when I don't think I can watch her cry for another moment.
Like you, I'm just keeping in mind that it's what is best for my LO in the long run (and for me and DH, too!)
Hang in there - I'd give you a hug if I could!
Emily
ps: your twins are so cute!  are they usually so happy (as in your avatar?)

[rob1lu2]

Emily,

You vent and talk as much as you like. I know what it's like to have baby issues and not know what to do. Or sometimes I do know what to do but just need a cheerleader or someone confirming what I already know. It's SO hard when they cry. Your self-confidence goes right out the window and you can doubt yourself. I just try to remember the long term goal. AND I try to remember that this is such a tiny blip in what I hope is their very long life. Percentage wise it will end up being less than 1% of the 1% of the 1%.

It's important to not feel so alone. It is my pleasure to help you!

Yay for DH and Estela. I don't necessarily think she is deliberately torturing you but if you are her primary caregiver what they say is that LOs relax around you and know that they can be on their worst behavior b/c they know that you will always love them. Not that DH doesn't fall into that category. But my DH isn't around all the time b/c he has to work outside the home. So the way they act with me is different than the way they act with him. So, yes. They are torturing us but they do it because they care.  A Mother's Gift. 

I'm sending you {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} too!

Thank you for the compliment! They are usually that happy - obviously not every single second b/c they get frustrated or upset, but usually yes. I am very blessed to have good babies. I spend all day with them and to be honest with you, when I put them to bed at night I miss them. Sad, I know!

Lu

[Estela's Mom]

Hi again - I'm not sure if I can still brag about Estela's improvement.   
The second and third naps yesterday were a nightmare - virtually an afternoon of screaming and tears and almost no sleep at all.
She literally slept about a total of 40 minutes after 11am yesterday until bedtime.
It's so hard to stand by her and watch her cry and cry - she's almost lost her voice today from all of the crying!
It really upsets her if I touch her, so I mostly talk to her in a calm voice, occassionally rubbing her face or head.
The bedtime was fine - we did our routine and she went to sleep almost immediately, and slept straight from 7:30pm to 4am (with a 10:30pm dreamfeed.)
This AM I woke at 4am with her, nursed her, and put her back in the crib awake, and she slept until 7am.
What is up with the naps?? 
Today she has slept a total of 36 minutes since waking, with tons of crying in between.
DH did the support for the first two naps, and I'm in the middle of the third nap (she's still awake, crying, after 20 minutes.)
Should we continue on?
This is the third day we've been trying to get her to sleep independently.
Do you think we're not doing something right, or is she just so used to napping on us that this is going to be a nightmare to correct?
We're being consistent, but this is very heartbreaking.
How is your struggle going, Lu?
Let me know!

[Estela's Mom]

Hmm, right after I posted the last message, DD fell asleep (57 minutes into the modified shh/pat that we do w/her.)
She slept for 2 hours and just woke up 45 minutes ago!
She is so happy right now - she nursed well, and is cuddling with DH.
This gives us the strength to continue on, seeing her fall asleep on her own in the crib, and wake up well rested and happy! 
The crying is still heartwrenching, but she is really learning, I think.
Anyway, I just wanted to give an update, and to say that all hope is not lost! 
Here's hoping that she sleeps as well tonight as she did last night!

[rob1lu2]

So thrilled to hear it! Remember, baby steps! She's almost 4 months old, right? It will take her a while to get used to the new schedule, as she was used to doing things the old way for 4months! All three of you are doing great!

Tracey talks about the 3 Day Magic in one of her books - and I do find that things improve. But I always give myself two weeks before I decide if I am going to change anything or if I decide things aren't working. I know the crying is tough, but it's her only way of communicating. It's her way of saying, this is hard! I'm not used to this!

Keep us updated!

Lu
 
PS Check out my post in the naps section for an update on my madness!

[Estela's Mom]

Hi!  Here comes another update - sorry I'm so neurotic!
DD is doing very well (fingers crossed, knock on wood!) sleeping independently.
She goes to bed between 7 and 8pm each night; has a dream feed between 10 and 11pm; then sleeps until 4:30am, nurses, goes back to sleep and wakes at 7am! 
As for naps, well, we all know those are going to be tougher!  She is now taking 3 naps per day (30-45 minutes) in the crib, plus a catnap in the evening if I can get her to.
Obviously, we're still working on length of naps.
At least we're seeing progress, and she is so happy to have consistency, I think.
Lu, I read your post in the naps section - I wish I could help, but I have no experience with the Amby hammocks, but it sounds like the moderators are being helpful.
I LOVE your new avatar!!  I'm jealous that you guys can be outside at this time of year!  (We live in New England, so it's usually all I can do to get DD out for a 5 minute walk - bundled head to toe, of course!)
Happy sleeping!

[rob1lu2]

Hi!

(What's your name by the way? If you want to reveal it, you don't have to if you aren't comfortable)

You are not neurotic at all! I was posting about Thing Two's bottle feeding habits for about six weeks! You are just sorting things out and using the boards as a sounding board. That's why we are here!

Your nap schedule sounds like what mine was like with Thing Two at that age. I could never extend her naps and just resigned myself to 4-45 minute naps per day. If that's what you can get out of Estela that's great! You should be so proud that she has done so well in such a short amount of time. Did you think it would be possible?! And yet here you are!

I'm sure she is happy to have consistency. I know I am!

Not to worry about my post in the naps section. The girls are in their cribs for naps now, no problem. AND Thing Two is in her crib for night time sleep now, too! We are going to put Thing One in her crib starting tonight. I think it's time.

Thanks for the kind words about the new avatar! I think it's hilarious. Thing Two does NOT like to fall down, but Thing One has a passion for heads. If you get your head anywhere near her, she is in heaven! Yes, we took that last week. The past few days have been cold for us. 60F during the day.  My SIL live in Boston and said you were having an ice storm? Or a snow storm or something?

Hey, from NE! The Pats just beat the Chargers! Grrrr...! Super Bowl Time!

Keep me updated!
Lu

[Estela's Mom]

Hi!  I'm so sorry to have been MIA - we got a nasty virus on the computer, which coincided with me going back to work a couple of mornings a week, so I haven't been able to really get online until recently.   
Anyway, Lu, how're things going with Thing 1 and Thing 2?  Both happy and healthy and sleeping in their cribs?  It looks like they're turning 1 soon - happy early birthday!
Estela's still doing pretty well.  We had a rough patch due to her cutting both bottom front teeth, and now we're having another rough patch we think due to the top front teeth...at least, we hope that's what it is.
The past week or so, she goes to bed at 8pm, then has her dreamfeed around 10:30pm, wakes at 1am and 4am usually, then wakes for the day at 6am.   
She's been taking a good nap (1 1/2 hours) in the AM, then 2 more 30 minutes naps in the afternoon.
All in all, since she's at that magical age of disruptions (6 months now) I can't really complain...much!
Take care, and enjoy that terribly cold weather - 60's!  Sheesh!!  It's a balmy 26 degrees here.   
Talk to you soon!
Emily (my name-sorry I've never written it!)

[rob1lu2]

Hi Emily,

Sounds perfectly normal for her age!

You keep us posted if anything else comes up!

The Things are great! Well, they are still having NWings, and short naps, and EWings, but it's pretty much par for the course around here. I'm getting used to it, unfortunately.

Lu