my 3 year old dd stays up until 11pm!!! help!

[Lilah'sMommy]

I think I'd also not allow TV so close to bedtime-- for some kids, it really stimulates them and keeps them up for a few hours afterwards.  Try a no TV after dinnertime rule if at all possible.  I don't think quiet play would be a problem as part of the wind-dowm but I think I'd do it before bath, in place of the TV.  Then have snack, bath, then books.  You might introduce some story-telling in the dark (we do this with DD1, who is three) or guided imagery to help her unwind.  If my DD1 is particularly squirmy at bedtime, I do massage masked as a game (like turning her into a pizza-- kneeading and rolling the dough, etc.).  Then lights out and kisses goodnight.  I let DD1 listen to music as she falls asleep because it relaxes her and keeps her from getting up and playing, but some kids are more stimulated by music, so you've got to go by your own DD.

Also, what time does she wake in the morning?  What time is naptime at daycare?  A nap too late in the day, even if it's only an hour, will really affect bedtime.  Over here naps must end by 2:30 unless we want her up past ten.

[forestmum]

she seems to really need the nap, and the last few days they've been making sure she doesn't sleep for more than an hour.  so far, that hasn't 'fixed' the problem... we are getting really frustrated here.  The calendar/stickers, or reward hasn't worked at all so far.  Dh actually took the light out of her room last night it got so bad (pretty crazy that it's come to that.) She finally fell asleep at 11:15.  We have noticed she is more and more tired each morning though... she was even a little teary this morning.  We are hoping that she'll just be so wiped out she'll go to sleep right away tonight (really hoping!) and maybe if we get a couple of good nights, she'll break the habit.

Dh agrees that her wind down is too long... thinks she really doesn't need the snack, and that she wants it more out of habit than anything else.  We usually finish dinner around 6, and she has a snack at 7:30... (she's probably not really hungry.) We also want to try to get her drinking less in the evening too so she'll stay dry at night.  Tonight she's having a bath, so i'll let her play a bit longer there.  We'll take her upstairs without the snack (do you think the snack is re-energizing her??) and see how it goes.

[Lilah'sMommy]

It depends on the snack.  A good sleep-inducing snack would be some protein (especially foods containing tryptophan, like dairy products or turkey and complex carbs-- so cheese and whole wheat crackers, milk and a home-made oatmeal-raisin cookie, a half a turkey sandwich on whoe wheat, for example.  As for the wind-down, my DD1 actually does better with a longer wind-down; a too-short wind-down pretty much ensures she'll be popping out of the room to ask for "one more" of this or that.  But you'll have to go by your own DD.  What you should make sure of is that the whole wind-down after bath takes place in her room, or in one place at any rate-- moving from place to place is too stimulating.

One more thing-- my DD1 went through a really awful bedtime resistance patch at 2.5 years or so that pretty much nothing fixed except patience and time.  There is just a developmental stage where this particular kind of bedtime issue happens and all you can do is stand your ground and wait for it to pass.  It could be that that is what you're dealing with and it will be over, and you won't know exactly what helped and what didn't.

[LisbonMom]

One more thing-- my DD1 went through a really awful bedtime resistance patch at 2.5 years or so that pretty much nothing fixed except patience and time.  There is just a developmental stage where this particular kind of bedtime issue happens and all you can do is stand your ground and wait for it to pass.  It could be that that is what you're dealing with and it will be over, and you won't know exactly what helped and what didn't.

Dd2, now 26 months, is doing the same thing. We just stand our ground. She gets her story. and after that it's bedtime., no if's or but's. Even if she doesn't fall asleep straight away, she knows it's time for bed.

As for the stickers, rewards, keep at it. You need to be consistent with it (or anything else for that matter). Just talk about her new crocs and how wonderful it will be when she gets to use them - fuel her appetite for them, and stress how she can ony have them after x number of stickers. Make sure she understands the concept.

Hang in there! Things will get better - one day  !

[forestmum]

a small success!!!  last night, she had a nice long bath, (lots of time to play) and we skipped the snack altoghther.  She was in bed by 9, and only got up twice.  (a huge improvement!!!) she was asleep by 9:20 or so.  And slept peacefully the rest of the night.

This morning we made a big deal about how well she did, that she tried really hard.  And didn't she feel good after getting a good sleep!  We compromised with the stickers/calendar, and let her have one sticker on her hand, so she could show the caregivers at school that she had a pretty good night.

We've talked about the crocs again, really getting the point across... hopefully the weekend with probably no naps will be successful too!  we'll keep trying.  thanks to everyone for all the advice & support!!!!!

[LisbonMom]

This morning we made a big deal about how well she did, that she tried really hard.  And didn't she feel good after getting a good sleep!  We compromised with the stickers/calendar, and let her have one sticker on her hand, so she could show the caregivers at school that she had a pretty good night.

We've talked about the crocs again, really getting the point across... hopefully the weekend with probably no naps will be successful too!  we'll keep trying.  thanks to everyone for all the advice & support!!!!!

Great job!!!! Hope it all works out well!

[Lilah'sMommy]

Hooray!!  I hope the trend continues!

[Carmela's Mom]

I'm sorry I didn't read the other responses, but when we started going through this with our DD, we had to take the nap away It was awful but she's doing better now without the nap (and sleeping better at night)