Hey Jan!
I don't think he is too old to get on a good routine, or too old to teach how to sleep independently. Better he learn how to sleep independently NOW than you be up all night with him in a few more months or a few more years.
He may be overtired. His first A time of the day was 3.5hrs, and that seems a bit long to me, but my dd typically sleeps the average amount or a bit more than average -so every baby is obviously different! Her A times now are about 3.5hrs. I think MJ usually is awake more than average - is that right Alissa?
I know initially we talked about increasing his A times, but maybe we've gone too far? What about trying a 3hr A time first thing in the morning, then a 3-3.5hr A time btwn am and pm nap. So maybe this:
A times 7:30-10:30
nap 10:30-11:30
A times 11:30 or whenever he wakes from nap-2:30-3 -or whenever you think tiredness is coming on - cues are iffy I'm sure
A times 4:30 or whenever he wakes-7 or 7:30 bedtime - earlier if bad pm nap to prevent OT.
What do you think?
Other questions:
Is there a bathroom or something that you can put his crib or a pak-n-play in where he can't immediately see you when he wakes? Or a screen or partition or put him right outside the bedroom door? Even if it means moving things around a bit? I am grasping at straws here I realize.
When he wakes at night -what do you do? Is he crying when he wakes, or just being active? Are you doing any put down?
I have to say this: I am imagining what I would be like/do if I were in your shoes. If vaden was still in my bedroom, I would probably jump up and check on her at every single sneeze and whimper, which would, in turn probably increase her night wakings and issues being able to self soothe because she would get used to me intervening WAYYYYY to much. I am a sleep nazi, so if she were to have a crib party in my room between 1-3am, you better believe I would do all the AP in the world to get her to go back to sleep so I could get my OWN rest. Obviously months of that would make things worse. All of these things was the main reason dd moved to her own room at 7wks old!!
So, again, if I woke up in your shoes tomorrow, vaden would be sleeping in the bathroom, or living room, or kitchen, or somewhere else, or DH and I would be sleeping on a blow up mattress in the basement where there is sawdust everywhere and I could move it whenever the workers came in, and I'd be doing pu/pd religiously and sleeping every single time vaden did just to get some sleep to be more prepared to continue the pu/pd, or really just pd in your case because he is standing. In three months with ridiculous commitment to sleep training things *should* be much much better. That would mean-no bringing him to your bed, no rocking to sleep, no boob to sleep, etc. Very very hard work.
Any of this sound familiar? Because I am giving the advice that I would give my imagined self if I were in your shoes - if that makes sense??
If I am so way off base, let me know, I don't mind, just thinking outloud!
