Thanks for posting your routines ladies...let's see if we can't sort some of this out....
Generally, 45 min naps mean your bub is actually undertired, though not always.
So, mumofbub, if he wakes at 7, I would push the time you start your winddown to 9:00 - and aim to have him down for his first nap by 9:10/9:15. The hope is then that he'll sleep til he feeds at 11, and you would then start his next winddown at 1, to be in bed by 1:15ish. Does that make sense?
Charsmom - If she wakes at 5, do you still put her down for her first nap at 7:45? That seems like a long first A time for a 5 month old. I would try to aim for just over 2 hrs of A time, so start your winddown at 2 hr after waking or 2 hr 15 after waking. So, if she's up at 5, start her wind down by 7/7:15, even if you're not feeding her til 5:45. If she's not up til 5:30, then start her wind down around 7:30ish. Then the hope is she'll sleep til her next feed around 9/9:30is, then start her wind down no earlier 11. Does that make sense?
Your wind downs look good to me. Have either of you ever used pat/shh with your lo's before? If they wake early, you can try pat/shh to get them back to sleep (since pu/pd wo't work unless your bub is crying). You can also try w2s. It can be a bit of a challenge to get the timing right, which is why I generally suggest doing a routine switch first. However, if you try extending A time (and I'd do no more than 10-15 min extra a day, for 2 or 3 days before you try anything else), and still get 45 min naps, w2s if your best bet. It took me about 10 days to get the timing right with my dd.
If you try to extend the naps with pat/shh, w2s, or pu/pd, I'd only try for 30 min to extend, if you can't get your lo back to sleep, go ahead and get them up. Then have some super low key A time til the next 4 hr feed (unless they seem hungry before then). Then I would feed, keep them up no more than 30 min and put them right back to bed (because they've already been up for quite awhile) to try to recover some sleep. Also, you can use the catnap time as a bit of a freebie to get them to sleep however you can if they've not napped well during the day. Finally, put them to bed about 30ish min earlier in the evening as well if naps have been bad all day.
Hang in there, this is a tough time, and some of it is developmental and will sort itself out, so if you need a break from nap extension, take one and don't beat yourself up for it. Let me know how you get on....
