Bed Transition Questions *Updated* Not going fab--Mama's having a melt down

[Peek-a-boo]

I've tracked down a crib we can borrow, but I figured we should give this transition another day or two. 

Well, things are going from bad to worse with the bed situation. We got him in bed early tonight since he is OT. He took a 20 minute nap in the car this afternoon (fell asleep after being there for all of 2 minutes). He was quiet in bed for 20 minutes and now he's getting out of bed, and has now learned to open his door. Fab.   

DH went and tried repeatedly to settle him with no success and DS was getting very worked up and pathetic.  We decided to put the side of his crib back up.  DH is in there with him now redoing the wind down.  Now that he can get out AND open his door who knows what will happen even with the side back on.

I'm so not in a good frame of mind to be dealing with this.  Everything I logically know about sleep training has flown right out of me head and I just want to turn back the clock and make this all go away. 

[Peek-a-boo]

Thank you, Stacy.   

I've calmed down a lot.    Lots of deep breaths. 

We put the crib side back and he went right to sleep, slept later in the morning and went to sleep great tonight.  I kind of think he was going to nap today, but then he pooped and a nap didn't happen.   


He seems to be able to get out of the crib with no trouble without getting hurt--even with the side all the way up.  So, my plan is to leave the crib side on.  We'll leave it up at night whene he doesn't seem to have much desire to get out anyhow.  I'll probably lower it for nap times since that's when he's motivated to get out whether the side is up down--that way he'll be even less likely to hurt himself climbing out. 

He's used to having his door shut and I really think he'll climb over any gate, so I went and got those door knob cover things.  He seems unable to open the door now, so we'll see how that goes.  I like the idea of some sort of light on a timer to signal when sleep time is over.  I'll have to think about that one . . .

My thinking is that we'll stick with the crib for now and just be okay with his getting out during nap time.  When we move him to his new room (probably in 2 weeks) we'll set up the twin bed with his cool new construction bedding (which arrived today and he really liked) AND move the crib into the room and sort of let him decide when he wants to go to the twin bed.  If it happens before #2 arrives, great, we'll reuse his crib; if not, we'll borrow or buy a second crib.  I really think though that we'll go straight from the crib to the twin bed whenever it happens.  I do not think he liked it when we changed his crib by removing the side and putting up the toddler rails.  I think it stressed him out and made him feel anxious and insecure. 

That's the plan for now.     This assumes he keeps staying in the crib at bed time and in the morning.  If that quits we'll have to re-evaluate the situation. 

[Peek-a-boo]

sigh

He climbed out of his crib this morning as soon as he woke.  Other than nap time, this is the first time he's climbed out of it in its crib state. 

[Mydreamcametrue]

Sorry you are having such a hard time.  I can't really offer any other advice other than what Stacy said.  Once you move him into his new room, make a big deal about it and I would have both the crib and bed in there.

Just wondering, why does he have to move rooms?  Can't you just keep that his room so it is not so many changes and decorate the other room as the nursery?   I never understood why so many people had a nursery and then moved them when they get older. 

Hugs, Just hang in there.  Just don't stress to much over it as long as he is sleeping.  Things are proably going to change again when the new baby gets here.  Zach (my 2 year old) was always a great sleeper and 2 months after the baby was born, he did not want to sleep in his room anymore.

Not trying to scare or worry you more, just saying don't stress to much over it because things may change again in a few months. 

Can you get him excited about picking out new decorations, bedding, pillows and stuff for his new room? 

[Peek-a-boo]

We got Tonka truck bedding for a twin bed.  It arrived a couple of days ago and he loves it.

We're moving him to the new room partly because the nursery is all decorated and painted gender neutral for baby.  So if we kept him there, we'd have to repaint it to go with the big boy bedding, plus paint and redecorate the other room as nursery.  The bedroom to which we're moving him also shares a wall with our bathroom.  I'm not thrilled about that in terms of noise and either child sleeping, but, I feel like since he has betterr night sleep habits (ha, ha, you may see after reading this thread  ), he's less likely to be woken by DH getting ready for work at 5:30/6:00 am than a baby would. 

At out old house, his nursery shared a wall with the bathroom and I was always terrified to flush during nap time or right after he'd gone to bed and when he was younger DH getting ready for work woke him.  As he got older and became a better independent sleeper, he was able to sleep through DH getting ready. 

I'm not thrilled about either of them being in the room that shares the wall with the bathroom, but since he does sleep well at night, later in the morning, and seems to be dropping or close to dropping the nap, it seems less likely to affect him than a baby. 

I have toyed lately with the idea of repainting the nursery and keeping him there . . . but I don't know. 

[Lana]

Bethany

What is his temperment like?  Does he deal well with change?

We just transitioned B a month ago.

[Peek-a-boo]

He's spirited and slightly touchy.  He generally does okay with change--we moved this summer and in the process stayed with ILs for 2 weeks, then moved to new house in new town and none of that upset his night sleep.  Naps are always a little more sensitive, but even those were mostly okay through the move.  We tried to keep things as much the same as possible with his routine and sleeping environment. 

I was really not ready emotionally to deal with him moving out of the crib, so I may be projecting, but I swear, when we took the 4th side of the crib and put up the toddler bed rails, he was upset.  He tried to stop us from moving the crib side out of the room and kept trying to move it back over to the crib.   He also seemed really anxious during wind down times when the crib was converted to a toddler bed--although as some one wisely pointed out, that may have been OT b/c of the nap skipping.

He is really excited about the twin bedding we bought--he keeps packing it around, wanting to take it out of the package and play on it.  I'm hoping the room switch will go okay if we move the crib in there and then set up the twin bed with the new bedding and let him decide when to make the move from crib to bed.

I'm don't feel sure about much of anything right now though . . . 

[Lana]

If he had dealt well with change in the past then some of it could be ot as well as you projecting .  Also it may be that setting up a twin bed will be totally different than messing with his crib KWIM?  When you took the sides off it would look weird so that  may have caused the reaction.

If you plan on moving his room I would try to set the bed up on its own and go for it!  With both boys we took the crib down and put up the new twin bed with much excitement and "oh arent you a big boy now!!" .  Then we did our normal routine and I PLACED him in the bed and he was all good.

I'm don't feel sure about much of anything right now though .

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[Peek-a-boo]

Can you set up the crib and twin in new bedroom?  Take it down, leave it packed a few weeks and then magically it reappears in babies room!

Yes, we can do this.  My only worry is that giving him the choice may backfire.  I've been trying lately to give him more choices--limiting his options, but letting him pick b/t 2 things--but he often takes ages to decide or decides and then changes his mind, getting very worked up if we try to make him stick with his original choice.   I can see him picking one bed, getting all settled, and then wanting to swap and getting hysterical if we say no. 

So part of me thinks what Lana is suggesting makes sense--especially as he really is in love with his new bedding. 

I need to have all worked out in my mind how we'll handle it if it doesn't go smoothly, however, and also worked out in my mind on what basis we would decide to bail and go back to the crib. 

Of course, lol, every time I come up with a tidy little plan for this situation, it morphs again and the plan no longer seems adaqeute.