Any ideas for Quiet Activity Time for 9wk old?

[Shaota]

Hi Everyone,

I only have a moment, my DD has started again with crying through her nap she takes before the Eat & Activity of Bathtime. I know she's tired, she yawns & yawns (inbetween the crying)...but, WILL NOT sleep no matter whether I shh/pat her, have her white-noise machine on, or ANYTHING! She has recently gone back to shorter naps & wants to be on a 2.5 hour EASY (sometimes even less) & although she has a pacifier, she will spit it out & cry every time I try to work with her to go longer between feeds cause once I give in & give her the bottle, she doesn't eat it all, just lolligags over it. She is always VERY happy about being up again, but, it's so frustrating knowing that she needs her naps, & right when I thought I'd found the answer for this nap time & she was doing so good, here she goes again. The post I put in NAPS got some great advice & the one that seemed to be the one that fit well was that maybe she was OS/OT by the time we get to this nap & that for the A time to make it a quiet Activity. I keep trying that & was singing & talking to her today with the lights low, but, she after a half hour, she didn't yawn, just started screaming/crying at me. I figured she was tired & did the wind down ritual & when she was calm, put her in her crib.

I just don't have a clue how to help her & I'm afraid I'm turning her into a snacker! Please, any advise...please...ok gotta go see if I can do anything at all!

[Shaota]

Ok, no replies yet, so I've been looking around for a few days & started compiling some ideas & sending them to my email. In case anyone needs some ideas (& hopefully no one minds), I'm going to just reply to my own post, and then I'll also know where to find them if I forget, lol...

* Black and white pictures (hand drawn or you can print from this website pdf) http://baby.zorger.com/baby.zorger.com.newborn.pdf
* Massage
* Cross-crawling activities - baby lying on their back and bring up one leg and opposite arm and touch together, swap arms/legs and repeat
* Tummy time - baby can rest if she gets tired
* being in nature / outdoors (looking at trees, birds, clouds; touching grass and leaves, etc) or watching people and shadows

* Swaying, Swaying
-By using your lap as a cradle, sit in a chair with your baby lying on your thighs, her feet pointing toward your stomach.  Cradle her head with your hands and gently sway your body from side to side as you talk or sing to her.

* Pom Pom Play (Not sure if this one would be too stimulating before last nap of the day...)
-Gather together some large brightly coloured pom poms or small cuddly toys.  Get the baby's attention by holding the toy 30-38cm above his face.  Slowly move the toy from side to side, keeping pace with his ability to track the object with his eyes.
-Try slowly lifting the object up and down so he can watch it moving from near to far.  Touch the toys to his torso, or use it to stroke his face and arms.  Of course, you shouldn't leave the baby unattended with small objects.
-This gentle game with engage his attention, stimulate his senses, and eventually make him smile.

* Infant Massage
These are very simple forms of massage compared to the books and classes available to parents.
-Using a milking motion, gently sqeeze down each arm and leg.  Then move your hands from the centre of her torso out to the sides.  Or softly brush your fingertips over her skin.  Speak or sing to her at the same time.
-Place your fingers on her temples and make very small, gently circles.  Then place your fingertip in the middle of her forehead and draw them slowly along her eyebrows.  Try gently moving your thumbs along the bridge of her nose. down around her nostrils, and to the corners of her mouth.

* Dance with Baby
-Holding your baby securely against your chest, dance slowly and smoothly around the room to any kind of rhythmic music: classical, country, gospel, etc.  The movement replicates the movements he felt when he was in the womb and stimulates his sense of balance.

[Jaime]

those are all really good ideas!! 

not sure if you've got current threads going on the E boards.... but also wanted to throw out there that there is a 9-week growth spurt, and you might be seeing the effects of that (and not necessarily a snacker on your hands yet). 

[Deb_in_oz]

hi shaota - somehow never saw your original post - for low key activity that is really low stim
try to keep yoru involvement low level -

so instead of singing and dancing (more stimulating) you can try laying together on the sofa listening to classical music and just relaxing (more passive so less stim).

my fave that i always post i see on your list - looking quietly at nature and light, shadow, birds etc - you both chil out, there is enough visual stimuli to keep it interesting and distracting but no "active" activity

a walk in the stroller is a good last A time and if she catnaps then great...

with massage it is trial and error - some babies find it soothign and relaxing and for others it is high stimulus as you are touching a lot and there is a lot of sensory reaction, also if they are sensitive to temperature changes just be aware of the room temp and put on a low heater if necessary to compensate for them being nudey rudey (as we say in our house  )

you could read to her so she is just listening to your voice - on par with classical music as it is soothing - just keep even keel rather than dramatic reading LOL.  you can read anythign to a 9 week old. it is all language they are absorbing.

[Shaota]

Oh thank you, Debra! I'm having such a hard time with the last nap of the day...actually, it's always the same thing whether she's napping or awake...just seems to want to cry her little eyes out no matter what's going on.  Some days are better at that time than others & her pediatrician says it's colic, but, I still just don't know. I tried the "12 hour rule" yesterday (she woke up at 5:20am so I shot for bedtime to be 5:20pm) and gave her her bath early & to bed & thought we'd pass by "The Witching Hour" but she woke a half hour later screaming & crying & back to not being able to be consoled. I fed her & she ate almost the whole 4 oz (which surprised me), although she did cry throughout the whole Eating time...but, once I put her back to bed (no A time), she didn't wake up until during her DF. The pediatrician also says it will only last like this for about another month, so I guess I'll just take a deep breath & just keep trying to get her through that time of day & just deal with the fact I may not find the answer to make it all better, lol...

[Deb_in_oz]

it is so hard to tell when there is a particular tim eof day that is unsettled.  alex was an angel/textbook baby through and through but she still skipped a nap on occassion and also went through an unsettled witching hour from about 6 1/2 - 8 weeks where it was like clockwork that from 5-6pm nothing would make her happy and i just sat with her on my exercise ball bouncing and watching MASH which was on at 5 every day  (often i cried too because i knew there was nothing i could do). thankfully it only lasted a week or so.

many (but not all) babies do become more settled after the 3 mo growth spurt as it is also a big developmental leap time - sleeping better, longer A time, more time spent actually playing rather than just hanging around....

[Shaota]

Jaime! I'm sorry I missed your reply earlier , I'm so embarrassed. I was thinking she may be going through a growth spurt (didn't know there's one at 9 weeks, lol), but, she did wake up around 3am this morning needing to be fed (which never seems to happen much anymore), so I figured it might be. Thanks for letting me know that...and I feel better knowing that I might not be making her a snacker, lol, as that would really make me feel bad. It's just so hard to read her sometimes...

Debra - thanks again...and as silly as it may sound, it really touches my heart that you said that often you would cry too cause you knew there was nothing you could do...sometimes I feel so alone & like the only one out here that cries when I can't do anything to solve her sleep issues. Today, we even did two quiet time Activities after the last two Eats because she was so OT already, lol. But, she hasn't taken even one nap! She fights them all, even if I get her to sleep, she will wake up within 15 minutes to a half hour & the crying will begin all over again. *Sigh*... So it's the witching hour & I had finally gotten her to sleep about 15 minutes ago (with bouts of crying & not being able to be consoled for an hour...) and now she's crying again. DH is trying to give her her paci, but I doubt it will work. She doesn't usually like it much but, DH and I are both exhausted by now today & wish she would just nap longer. Darn it, but, well, at least this next Eat is the last one of the evening before her bath...and that will make her happy & (hopefully) sleep...at least it usually does.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. 

[babymunkey]

Hi Shaota

I'm sure you are probably fine by now, but if it helps we have exactly the same problem between 5 and 6! Our babymunkey sleeps really well for the rest of his daytime naps, but just acts like we/his cot and sleep are the evil devil between 5 and 6! This may make me a shameless Mum, but we kind of laugh and cry our way through it til bath time every night. Even if I avoid the issue and go out for a walk, he seems to have to have a cry anyway when we get home. My feeling is that as he is otherwise a calm and relatively happy baby, and doesn't cry much, he has to get the tears out somehow, so out they come between 5 and 6! Tonight he even cried through his 6 pm feed which went along the lines of suck for 2 minutes, stop for seemingly no reason and cry, look at me all surpised then suck, suck, suck again, and repeat the whole process every 2 minutes for a 15 minute feed!

I'm hoping he'll just grow out of it......

H

[Shaota]

Awwwww, your babymunkey sounds just like my Josie, then! Thanks for the laugh, I love your description of how it goes at that time. Us, too. 

I hope they grow out of it, too...as some days are worse than others...

I did stop using all those over stimulating toys, (even though I do still miss watching her be so excited to play with them, darn it) and I wonder when she'll ever get to play with them again. *Sigh...* We're just keeping it really low key for her right now, like chatting, reading & singing to her & then see how things go later on. I'm hoping I'm not making her depend on us for amusement, though, cause Tracy says to let them play alone to get their independence & learn to play alone. She does that fine in her crib watching the mobile for a while sometimes, and sometimes I sit her in her bouncy chair (without the vibration or toys on it) & just let her gaze out the window. 

[bennybean]

I'm curious to hear how the "witching hour" is going now?  My first son had 2-3 hours of screaming every night until about 10 weeks, and my 6 week old son is beginning to have a fussy time in the evening too.  I thought I would be okay with it, but it breaks my heart when I can't soothe him.  When I think I need a break and give him to my husband I have to take him right back because I can't stand to be away from him when he sounds so needy.
It's such a hard time.

[babymunkey]

Well you'll be glad to hear its all over for us.

Harris is now 17/18 weeks and after a brief spell of 45 minute napping is back on track, including incredibly the late pm catnap which was when we had our "witching hour"

In fact today, after 2 hours of A time after his lunchtime nap he was positively begging to be put down in his cot - I swear, I normally don't bother looking for tired signs at that stage -I just make sure he is in a position to take a nap if he needs it at that time - in the car/buggy or lounging on the sofa - but today, he got real fussy about 4, so I whipped him upstairs and into his cot and he kind of threw himself into the mattress and said "thanks Mum, close the door on your way out will you - see you in 45!" and off he went. I was speechless!!!

So my advice is ride it out, it will probably just change on its own. And my advice about when your lo is crying and your dh has him - leave the room or even better leave the house and leave them to it. Its too hard to stand there and watch your dh "do it all wrong" when your fingers are twitching to have your lo back in your arms. Walk out and go somewhere you can't hear the cries....and I used to get a nice surprise sometimes when I would come back and find Harris fast asleep on his Dad - OK cuddled on the sofa, but at that stage asleep was alseep!

 

[Shaota]

Josie will be 19 weeks (3 days shy of 4 1/2 mo) tomorrow, & our "Witching Hour" has pretty much disappeared also.    It was all about not giving her too stimulating of activities for too long (or at all) depending on what kind of day with naps she was having. Now that she needs to transition to the 4 hour EASY, though, I'm not sure how things are going to go. She did have a "Witching Hour" yesterday & that was the first time in over a month! So, now it's just about getting her routine adjusted to get her through her day the best. So many variables!

Babymunkey, I'm so glad things are going so well for you!

bennybean, Lol, ya, it's tough to hear them cry like that. It's great you have DH to step in when you need that break & get a little breather for you. I never had that, so I always ended up just crying along with Josie & that wasn't so great, either.    So, {HUGS!} to you to get you through the tough parts right now. It'll get better & we'll be here to help you though. 

So, I'm glad it's pretty much over for us, too.