Meltdowns at mealtimes with 15 month old - help not sure how to handle

[ukchick]

  I wonder if anyone can offer any advice here?

My Lo is 15 months and spirited. He is not fussy and can eat good quantities - on his terms!!!!!

He always hated the highchair so we switched to booster seat ages ago which seemed to work until now - lately, I would say a couple of weeks now he starts to have massive tantrums at the sightof me even preparing lunch or dinner (dinner is worse). He starts to cry and if I even attempt to put a baby spoon in his bowl he kicks off - he wants a eat from a dessert spoon which is massive and awkward.  One things he likes one day he refuses the next.

He is happy to eat on the go - i.e. walking around but I am determined not to let this happen.

My concern is, at 15 months he is still young and does he really understand table manners as such? I don't think it is a manipulative thing becuas ehe likes his food but more of an independance thing. If i set up the table with his food and cutlery he kicks off - goes rigid and screams before I even get him to the table!!!! I let him feed himself, give fingers foods as well so he can do both. I am not sure what it is but it is starting to cause problems with mealtimes when there has never been an issue - ok he has NEVER liked sitting and I always make sure everything is bang ready before he goes in the chair.  Even if I sit him on my lap or on a normal chair with cushions it is a bit better but if i even touch the spoon that is it - meltdown!

Anyone have any idea's??? Shall I back off the table for a while and see if that takes the pressure off? Trouble is I have nowhere else to put him especially if he wants to self feed - I am not having that all over the sofa!!

Help me nip this in the bud I don;t want eating problems were still getting over sleeping problems 

P.s. I always eat brekkie/lunch with him but we do sometimes eat in the lounge - maybe I should stop this and jhave food at table and nowhere else???

He is spirited and very headstrong 

Thanks so much xxxxxxxxx

[tylersmommy]

Ah, yes...welcome to toddlerhood! Something they like one day is completely wrong the next. Fun, huh?

I don't think it's ever too young to introduce the idea of table manners. The trick is that they need to be age-appropriate. It's not okay for a 6 yo to eat yogurt with his fingers, but it's fine for a 15 mo, KWIM?

Around here, meals are always at the table for both kids. I don't eat anywhere else so neither should they. If you feel the same way, you might consider only offering meals at the table and not in the lounge anymore. High chair, booster, chair with a cushion...doesn't matter, as long as it's at the table.

My DD is 16 mo and has days where she swats me away if I try to feed her with the spoon. That's when I undress her to the diaper and let her do it all herself. She makes a mess and I have no idea if she actually gets any in her mouth, but she's learning and that's okay. Even if the dessert spoon is big and awkward, so be it. She'll figure it out. I'll hold a baby spoon and a dessert spoon in front of her and she'll grab what she wants...even at this young age, they're capable of making choices and like to think they're in charge. I give her choices at mealtimes when I can, too. I'll hold a banana and a grape in front of her. She'll grab which one she wants, so that's what she eats. Obviously, I control the choices she's offered, but she really likes having some element of control.

Does that make any sense?

[oilerbaby]

I agree with PP.  Also have a suggestion... we have a little table and chair set from when I was a kid and had it set up in the kitchen by the "big" table.  My oldest is now seven and my middle one five but they would always have their lunch at the little table (and sometimes supper too) as well as their snacks - we no longer use the little table but it'll be coming back upstairs for ds in a few more months!  Anyhow - I know they're not sitting at the table with the family but you know that will happen eventually anyways, this just might be something to do in the interm and you can work on table manners at the little table too right?  Good luck!

[ukchick]

Thanks both of you 

yes it does make sense and is exactly what I was thinking too so at least I know I am in the right direction. Last night we noticed a molar just about to cut so I think this may be part of it too.

Little table and chairs is a good idea - hmmm now where can I put it??? Also like the limited choice idea - will try too!!

Thanks guys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kwaker5]

I have had a few of these at mealtimes recently (my lo is the same age), but it turned out he wasn't well and I think he had lost his appetite.  I also sometimes have them at breakfast if he has got over-hungry.  If really bad, I unstrap him, put him in the living room until he has calmed down, give him a cuddle and then try again.  Sometimes you just have to accept they aren't going to eat, I think?

[elmarie]

I honestly believe that you should not make a fuss about eating-for the exact reason mentioned in pp's.  With toddlers-Each day is different and what is a issue today is not a issue tomorrow.  We also only offer food in the kitchen, have also set up a little table and chairs in the kitchen as well as a high chair.  DD can choose where she wants to eat and we let her also choose her cutlery, be it a big spoon,teaspoon or fork-let it be.  If your Lo doesn't want to eat I will not make a fuss.  I find that sometimes my Lo will eat for 2 toddlers and other days she will live on a glass of milk and banana-if he is hungry he will eat.