Ok I'm still confused as to what I should be doing. I have a one year old daughter who sleeps through the night maybe twice a weeks. She normally goes down very easily for naps and bedtime, I just put her in and leave and she goes to sleep. It's when she wakes up at night I don't know what to do. Here's what a typical night waking looks like:
She wakes up and we can hear her fussing from our bedroom. She sort of cries for 10 seconds then stops, then fusses a bit, then stops, then lets out a wail or two then stops. I've let it go on like this for about 45 minutes and it never really escalates but she also rarely ever goes back to sleep. (I wouldn't let her all out cry, but she never gets to that point). After 45 minutes I end up going in to try to get her back to sleep because we are not getting sleep while she is doing that. Last night When I went in the moment she saw me she cried hysterically. I tried to leave her in the crib and just calm her down with words and rubbing her back or belly but she kept screaming no matter what I said or did. (She also will sit up, if I lay her back down she cries even harder (which is hard to imagine)). If I puck her up to try to do PU/PD she just screams and fights me. I know in the book it says not to keep holding a fighting baby. When I put her back down she screams harder and holds her hands up, but if I pick her up she does the same thing, fights. So after I tried pu/pd a few times and getting the same fighting I decided to just leave her in the crib and try to calm her down by talking. It took me a good 10 minutes (with her hysterically crying) to finally get her to pause. She quieted for a minuted and then started over. Once she seemed to calm down I tried to get her to go to sleep by just laying my hand on her back. She kept sitting up. So I kept laying her down. At first this just made her mad and she cried again but after about 10 times she would lay there for a couple minutes and then sit up. I'd lay her back down and she'd lay there a few more minutes then sit up (now at this point she isn't crying, just being quiet and laying down, then sitting up). Then she starts talking "Up, hi, bababab" etc., all cheery. Now doesn't it say in the book that PU/PD (or PD in this case) will not work with a happy/content baby? I was obviously getting no where because she thought it was a game. So I decided to walk out of the room. The moment I left she started screaming bloody murder again. I waited 10 seconds, walked back in and layed her down. She was content as long as I was there, but WOULDN'T go to sleep, would just play if I was in the room. I tried WI/WO for about 20 minutes but it seems to just make her more upset and hysterical, after the 20 minutes I think she was further away from falling asleep than she was before. What I ended up doing in the end was standing in the doorway facing away from her so she could see my back. Every time she sat up I walked over and layed her down (and said time for nite nite like I always do) and then went back and stood in the doorway. All in all this took an hour and 45 minutes. But maybe it would've taken less if I know exactly what I should be doing.
So, what do you think I should be doing? I've already posted her schedule several times and had everyone say it looked fine, so I think she just gets up out of habit (the most she has slept through the night in a row is 4 nights). Another problem is that she had back to back illnesses a few weeks ago and I am ashamed to say I caved and nursed her when she woke up because she was so miserable and that was the only thing that would calm her down, so now I know I am breaking that bad habit again.
I would do Gentle withdrawl but like I said if I am in the room she just sits there and plays (and in the past this has gone on for 2 hours before I caved, so now telling how long she would sit there and play if I was in the room).
I would do WI/WO but she seems to get more hysterical with this, even though I KNOW she knows how to get herself to sleep because she does it for bedtime and nap time with no problems.
I would do PU/PD but the PU part seems to infuriate her more and she fights it, so maybe just PD?
I guess I just don't know how you know which one of these methods to do. And say I go in at night am I supposed to first attempt to say the words and just touch her back and see if she goes to sleep that way first before attempting any of the other methods? Or am I supposed to jump right into one of the other methods?
Should I just be letting her fuss for as long as it takes for her to go back to sleep if she is never all out crying for us even though she so far will seemingly do that endlessly? At what point during the fussing crying do I say "ok she needs my help"?
What I mentioned above was the first waking, for the second waking I went in and rubbed her back for a couple minutes and she went back to sleep and for the third one I did PD and stood by the crib because this time she looked like she was going to go back to sleep (no popping back up and talking). (I actually go suddenly really sick and had to have DH come take ocer which I know is not good, but he just put his hand on her back and she went to sleep in about 10 minutes, basically working from where I left off).
I just feel so confused when I go in there at night having no idea where to begin. I know I need to be consistent so I need some help figuring out what to do so I can stick with it!
Thanks,
Nicole
