It just got worse ....

[jess, lukeys_mom]

luke is spirited with a touch of touchy too! and i agree......spirited children are not known for their easy going to sleep skills.

since your ds falls asleep in your arms when you pick him up i am thinking he has not really taught himself to get comfortable easily on his own. he is using you (or a bottle) to get comfortable and go back to sleep.

i am also thinking the first thing that needs to go is the bottle and i would also go cold turkey. definitely respond to him when he is crying and try to soothe him, but not with a bottle.

and then obviously you have to work on him needing to be soothed by you to get back to sleep. can your dh help you with this?

also have you read this thread about weaning props: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0 ?

maybe like jess and laura say, you can give him a few days to just catch up on day sleep. so do that thurs and fri, and then work more on sleep training in the weekend when you have more time and hopefully some more energy. would that work for you guys?

[Mama2boys]

Hi jess, Mari, Jessica and Laura,

your guidance is invaluable...lets begin with DH not being able to help as he end up rocking DS and thats a disaster. and since DS knows DH will pick him up even if he sees DH thats it, there goes all my sleep training so its me or nothing.

Ok so now DS is pretty much of the 1:30 midnight bottle. he work up around then lats night, got the pacifier and was back to sleep. But the 4:45ish feed is a whole different story, nothing pacifies him, no amount of back rubbing, patting or anything at all, so instead of waking him up completely I just let him have the diluted milk, which gets him back to bed but then he is up at 6:30 for a proper feed and just cant go back to sleep, and here lies the problem.

I studied all his daily routines from last week and early this week. and the days he is up at 6:30 he takes his am nap later and i think part of it might be OT issues as then he gets only abt 11 hrs night sleep. and just another additional 15-20 mins day sleep, so not enough to cover.

The choices in front of me are as below:
1. go cold turkey on the 4:45 feed and accept that he will start the day at 6:30 and let him sleep a little more during the day?
2. Give him the feed at 4:45 and then everyone sleep OK till 7:30, and stick to existing routine

I almost know the answer to the question actually....

OK so plan from today: will let him sleep as much as he likes in the day and see how the night works out. Will be a bit of a problem as I have to go for a day trip to Germany at leave home at 5:45am tomorrow, but will manage. Go cold turkey on the 4:45 feed and let the day start anytime after 6...

Hopefully my understanding of all your guidance is OK and I have a plan now.
BTW I seriously did not know that me reading to him and him falling asleep when he is ready is a prop i thought since I don't touch him and at times he can fall asleep reading on his won thats good enough. What a disaster as  parent I am

[jess, lukeys_mom]

BTW I seriously did not know that me reading to him and him falling asleep when he is ready is a prop i thought since I don't touch him and at times he can fall asleep reading on his won thats good enough. What a disaster as  parent I am

Oh mukta please don't think this! I know for a fact from previous threads that you are so head over heels in love with that little boy and doing everything you can for him, please don't beat yourself up. The reading is not a terrible prop but it just sounds like when you and or DH are home he just wants to fall asleep while you are there, kwim?
Is there any way to get your DH on the same page and committed to the sleep training so that you two can share the burden? When you really get into it consistency will be the key, and having some support will probably be impt for you.

Going to pm you now, i want to send you something xx

[MommaHolmes]

Hi Mukta,
Your plan sounds really sensible to me. I would give him a week of sleeping as long as he wants during the day as that should be enough to get an idea of what his normal sleeping pattern is and also allow him to compensate for the loss of any night sleep because of tackling his night feeding habit.

You're doing a great job - no-one who spends this much time, care and energy focusing on their child can possibly be described as a disastrous parent!! I definitely agree that getting DH on board will make a massive difference to you in getting through this sticky patch. I'm not saying you can't do it on your own, but you will be a much happier bunny for being able to share the load.

Laura x

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Laura,

DS has been sleeping like a log...slept 1hr 45 min for the am nap and pm nap is already 1.5hrs...now i am concerned that the night will be awful, but lets keep fingers crossed.

Will also tackle Dh tonight and see if he can get his act together...

btw for the pm nap DS justlay down and was left alone on his bed and fell asleep....so as soon as he lies down and shuts his eye we leave him alone..and if he starts fussing WI/WO else bliss

will let you all know how it goes tomorrow...

[jess, lukeys_mom]

Good luck, fingers crossed here!!! xxxx

[MommaHolmes]

You're doing all the right things Mukta - it might be a bumpy ride and his nights may not settle for a while yet so hang in there.

 

[Mama2boys]

pm nap is longer than 2 hrs now should i still not wake him up? he woke up at the 2 hr mark...totally his day tiem sleep to 3 hr 45 minutes....and his normal naps use dto be 2 hr 15 or 2 hr 30, but since he lost his 1 hr am nap by waking up at 6:30 instead of 7:30 he has made up his sleep for today and a little more.......

[Colin Macs Mom]

What a disaster as  parent I am

If you ever say that again Mukta I'm going to kick you in the shin!!

Seriously, if I were to list all the AP and mistakes I made in Colin's first year I'm sure I'd have you beat.

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Jessica, you are such a doll! But honestly having a baby has pulled my confidence down a couple of notches!

But anyways on the brighter side...I let DS sleep as much as he wanted, i think he made up for the lack of am sleep due to 6:30 wake up, went to sleep as usual on 7:30pm and best of all I did WI/WO and it worked. I did a bit of GW as well, in the sense that I'd calm him by putting my hand on him and slowly move out of the room and then the WI/WO. Hope thats not wrong as I really want to get it right this time!

Well will let you know how tonight and tomorrow goes ladies. 

[Vicku]

Mukta,
have just read through your post. hope tonight goes well! was thinking that maybe he went down for pm nap so easily cos he'd been able to catch up on sleep during am nap and so was less ot?
Will be interesting to see how he sleeps tonight.
From everything I know about you you seem like a lovely person and a brilliant, loving mum, so don't beat yourself up about things! thinking of you and sending lots of hugs!

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Vicku, you are so kind. All of you lovely ladies are so kind. Really I am so happy to have found out about this community I only wish I had known earlier. I have been telling absolutely everyone who I know and is pregnant about BW.

I think you are right, the extra sleep probably helped and lets hope tonight goes well. at least I am full of hope today

[Vicku]

I feel the same! Wish I'd known about it as dd was born! Am sure things would have been different then...
Anyway, lots of goodnight hugs to you and sleepy vibes to that little boy of yours 

[MommaHolmes]

Great that he went down OK at bedtime despite the long naps - it's a promising start if nothing else!

[Colin Macs Mom]

But honestly having a baby has pulled my confidence down a couple of notches!

Me too.