lack of sleep related moaning & crying non-stop days and nights! ?

[rubyslippers]

Hi - im new to this site and not sure where to post but im sure its sleep related so... (sorry its long winded)

my 14 mo has been an absolute angel with eating, sleeping, behaviour, teething etc until 2 weeks ago when he started teething with 4 molars and 2 canines all at the same time, he has had no probs with the other 8 teeth so we took him to gp's as he wouldnt eat/drink and didnt want to swallow and had very bad waxy ears but ear/throat infection was ruled out, his temp was 39o so we were given paracetamol and ibuprofen to give him whilst these troublesome teeth come through.

He has been moaning and crying almost non-stop day and night for the last week. In the day when nap time approaches he really resists sleep and thats when the crying starts. He will go to bed no trouble at 7pm but starts crying at 11.30pm, we cant get him back to sleep until about 3-4am all the time he isnt actually awake but is really crying through his sleep rolling around sitting up and throwing himself down. Have tried shush-pat, pick up put down, gradual withdrawal but have now got in the habit of settling him (albeit for about an hour) with bottles of milk hes getting thru 14 oz so hes not eating much during the day (another problem i have made for myself) but i am at the point where i will do anything, except put him in our bed, to stop him crying for an hr.

I am a full time mum and my husband works irregular shifts, I have really reached breaking point today, my husband is doing 4am starts at work so im having to do all the night and day care myself, i cant even cry im so exhausted.Have resorted to just leaving him in his cot going hysterical today as i am in real danger of screaming at him to shut up. I have just shut the bedroom door and turned off the baby monitor so i cant hear him, i just kept going back in every 15 mins and lying him back down with a shush-pat but he cried for 3 hours this morning before falling to sleep.

Where am i going wrong - what else can i do ??

Thanks for reading

[Mama2boys]

Hi Ruby,

Sorry I cant help you much., I have made for too many AP mistakes and am not trying to sort my Lo's routine out, but wanted to send you  big hug!

hang in there, it will get better. teething is an absolute nightmare especially with molars, DS has also been suffering. he give sup food and does a very similar moaning routine. We use Bonjela on his gums to give him instant relief and it works wonders, you can reapply every 2 hrs. Also use something called Teetha (I think you might be UK based)  Its homeopathic powder available in little sachets in boots etc. and helps calm the baby and provide some pain relief. because its homeopathic, there are no side effects, no addiction nothing.

If DS is in a lot of pain, I would give him ibuprofen as per dosage on the bottle for a day or 2 to help him though and that will help his pain and your sanity.

Hang in there,e the expert mom's will guide you better but just wanted to share that we all go through similar phases and Bonjela and teetha have been godsend to us.

HTH
Mukta

[Vicku]

hi! welcome to the site and I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! I'm no expert either but we've also been through similar thing and I know it's not easy to stay sane. My dh works away a lot so can be away for 1 or 2 weeks at a time and I know it's really not nice to deal with these things on your own. good that you've ruled out ear infection etc. are you giving both ibuprofen and paracetamol at the same time? you can do that if one or the other by itself isn't enough. as mukta said, bonjela can also help. have you tried giving something cold to chew, like a frozen banana or frozen teether ring?
chances are he's now OT too so that will contribute to him being moany. the only thing that ever really helped dd sleep while teething or in any other pain is painkiller medicines... but as I said, sometimes we had to give both together.
how long ago did you see the gp? if things don't get better it might be good to go back to make sure it's not something else though. Hope it gets better SOON!
Lots of hugs! Remember it won't last forever, and if you're really struggling is there anyone else, your mum, a friend or other realtive, who could help you out so you don't burn yourself out??

[rubyslippers]

Thanks for the support, its reassuring to know im not alone. After using controlled crying this morning -something i said i would never do - he has been quiet all afternoon, taking meds, playing nicely, giving kisses! but as soon as Hubby came home from work he has started moaning again so it must be more of a behavioural thing that started with the teething.

2 GP's have seen him this week re: ears and throat, we have several GPs and a consultant paediatrician within our family and friends and they are all quite sure it is defo teething so im happy with that diagnosis and we have been giving both paracetamol and ibuprofen at the same time for 9 days under medical supervision. Sadly we are miles away from family and we dont have friends who are at home in the day so we dont have that much support except over the phone.

We have tried frozen banana and teethers but not bonjela or powders so will try that next - thanks for that advice. Will decide a care plan with hubby tonight and stick to it rather than doing whatever stops him crying at the time, Hubby is working nights tommorow so will take care of DS tonight so i can sleep.

Thanks again for replying

[MommaHolmes]

Another thing you could try that may help is putting him to bed a little earlier for a while. If he's been awake in the night a lot then he will more than likely have gotten a bit OT and that can make night wakings worse.

[Vicku]

Good to hear DH will help you out tonight! Hope you can sleep well and recharge! My DD has been getting into OT territory last few weeks and it definitely affect both days and nights so it's probably a contributing factor, and earlier bedtimes will help ensure they have more opportunity to sleep, even if they might not always sleep better/longer. Sometimes it works though! I can sympathise on the family far away thing... did that for ages. hope things settle down for you soon! Some kids just suffer worse than others with teething it seems  but it's probably also important to have a plan how to handle things as you said.

[rubyslippers]

Thank you everyone - will also try putting him down earlier. He wont let us put Bonjela on his gums, we cant even get a finger in his mouth - any advice

Have had some rest this PM so batteries are charged ready for tonight - he has gone to bed awake but making no fuss at all. We decided to stop giving his bottle in his cot as it might be giving the message that he needs to suckle himself to sleep and then when he wakes he needs another bottle to get back to sleep, we spent 3 weeks of hell getting off his dummy only to replace it with the bottle so that was really stupid of us.
 
we are also going to be consistent with the shush-pat thru the night rather than me doing one thing then Hubby trying a different thing. I think we are in for a tough night so we are going to bed now - how sad    it feels like having a new born all over again.

Thanks everyone once again   

[Vicku]

You could see if he'll take it off a teether or anything else he will bite on... does he dislike the taste or just not wanting your fingers in his sore mouth? my dd loves the taste, so if I put a tiny bit on her lips so she can taste it first she then opens her mouth so we can put it on. don't know if thet'll help at all..?

It sounds like a good idea to take away the bottle from the cot, the longer you let him do this, the longer it'll take to break the habit.

Also, about the shh/pat... does it seem to work on him? sometimes it's too stimulating for older babies/toddlers. just a thought, you know him best though. doesn't work for my LO, WI/WO works better, but then all bubs are different.

hopes for a good night!

[Layla]

Ruby, can you please post your routine as well!

He's probably too old for shh/pat... I would look at doing either wi/wo or the Pd method.


Layla

[rubyslippers]

Hi again - will keep trying the Bonjella maybe hes just not used to the taste he has never let us put fingers in his mouth he just clamps tight!

DS routine

    6.0am   - wake     - 4oz formula mixed with 3oz cows milk
8.3 -9am   - breakfast - toast or cereal that he can self feed with fingers and water
10 -11am   - nap       - (this is all over the place: between 30mins - 2hrs)
on waking  - snack    - fromage frais and/or raisins with water
12.30 - 1pm - lunch   - varies depending on when & what he will eat
 2.30 - 3pm - bottle  - as above then go for a walk
4.30 - 5pm - dinner   - again depends on when & what he will eat (sometimes nothing)
         6pm - bath
        6.30 - bottle   - as above, sometimes he will have 1 slice of toast
         7pm - bed

Re the shush/pat, it has worked really well today, during the day he has fallen asleep independantly in his cot twice with only a little SP, the problem is settling him after a night wake, last night it took 2 hrs but SP didnt work just made the crying escalate, doing PD had the same effect and he didnt notice WI/WO cos he was crying in his sleep and didnt open his eyes at all during the whole 2hrs. We are just sitting in bed now waiting for the usual 11.30 wake but its now 12.10am.....i dont dare say anything else !!!!  oh dear he has just started now ...

[Layla]

So am I right in reading that he only takes 1 nap... and if it is infact as short as 30mins, does he then take an afternoon nap?

At 14months he's in the middle of the 2-1 nap transition so you either need to offer 2 naps, in which case I would suggest the morning nap be around 9-9.30am (don't let him sleep past 30mins) and the afternoon nap around 12.30-1pm (this nap should be longer since the morning nap is short). BUT if you have not had luck with the pm nap.. even if the am nap is as short as 30mins, then I would suggest making that 1 nap (be it long or short) closer to 11am so that he is then not awake for as long before bedtime

You really want something like this:

6am - wake
11-1 - nap
6pm - bedtime

So I would do an earlier bedtime definitely to give him the chance to catch up on some sleep.

[rubyslippers]

Since the teething troubles began he is only having 1 nap, but yesterday and today he has had 2 for 1.5 hrs each and has slept through both nights too although he was a little unsettled after my last post but we just left him to it and he slept til 6.30 am and 7 am today.

ive stopped doing SP now as he is starting to think its a game, im doing PD instead which is working well and its only taken him 10 mins to fall asleep just now.

Although he has done well for 2 nights im sure there will be trouble ahead but at least ive regained my confidence in how to handle it

Thanks to everyone who has given me support - my sanity has remained intact

Ruby x

[Vicku]

Glad to hear things have been better! You're right that there will always come other times where things will be unsettled for a time... it's impossible to avoid colds, more teeth etc, but if you can find a way of dealing with it so it doesn't create sleep problems each time at least things will get back on track once the illness is over/tooth is through etc... and it sounds like you've done that really well! Hope things will continue looking up!
Hugs!