Concerned over mealtimes!

[RACHPEM]

My 14 month old has started to be extremly defiant at mealtimes.
She has only recently started and I think it is mainly due to the fact she wants to feed herself.  I do allow her to do this although she is really not very good with a spoon and drops the food before it reaches her mouth.  I allow her to use her fingers as she will not allow me to feed her anymore (unless it is dessert!!!) so bascially what I want to know is this ok ? when is she likely to be able to handle a spoon better? .  Also she has got into the habit of throwing her food, which used to mean she had had enough but now she does it from the start and I am concerned she is not eating enough.
Rachel

[deb]

I'd let her have her own (plastic) dish and spoon and you can put bits of either spoon or finger food on her dish as she empties the plate. That way she can only spill so much, KWIM?

It'll take a while till she's good at the spoon, but one day you'll realize that she's got it down cold and you'll wonder how you didn't see it coming. The more opportunities you give her - and it can be nervewracking to watch the food spill over and over - the sooner she'll get good at it. I highly recommend a plastic tablecloth on the floor below the chair and nothing but a diaper to feed - and a full bathtub might not hurt either! (BTDT!)

[woopster]

She's probably eating a lot more than you realise.  She won't starve. Don't think of her as being defiant - she is just exploring with touch. Try not to get wound up about it. You could also try eating with her, let her see how it's done.

[RACHPEM]

Sorry, I did not mean to come across as being mad with her at mealtimes.  I know she is finding her way and I do encourge this, I was just concerned she was not eating enough.  Also as she eats most of her foods with her fingers, spag bol included !!!! I dont have a problem with this but again was wondering if this was ok at her age.
Cheers, Rachael

[NiknLily]

Absolutly fine    DD is 22m and still largely eats with her fingers, I always give her appropriate cuttlery and she will have a go, stuf some more in with hands then go back to the spoon or fork and have another go.  I even give her a baby knife, its totally blunt but she loves to practice 'cut, cut, cut' 

Like PP's said one day they just get it 

[woopster]

Rachel, my kids are nearly 5 and nearly 3 and they still struggle with using cutlery! Esp now the big one has decided he wants growb up cutlery.  She sounds like she is doing fine.