Everything has gone crazy!! Please help with 12 mo!

[chesterella]

Hi Everyone
So my perfect angel 12 mo lo is now overtired and not sleeping thanks to me! A few weeks ago he started to take his first nap later, like 11:30, because he was waking up later. He always slept for 1.5 hours and woke at 1 so I could not put him back down for his 2nd nap at 4:30 because he goes to bed at 7:30. So his 2nd nap was switched to a catnap. I thought he was doing the 2-1 transition so I embraced this change. Now everything has gone haywire. He's not sleeping through the night and he's only taking 45 minute naps, waking hysterically. He has always been a good sleeper, his naps always on cue and me always responding.
So my question is, how do I get him to sleep again if he is too overtired to fall and stay asleep? When should I put him down for his naps? We used to do pu/pd when he was younger and it worked like a charm, but now he is so hysterical I HAVE to pick him up or else he throws up. I have read a whole lot of posts about the 2-1 transition but I didn't think it would get this bad. Please help!

[lesorl]

Hi chesterella,

Is he taking 1 or 2 45 min naps each day?  What's his day like yesterday and today?

Early bedtime is usually king to overcome OT, so I'd start with that.

Let me know how you go...

Leslie

[chesterella]

hi there
today was a mess! last night he did not sleep well at all and was hysterical everytime he awoke. he woke up at 7. so thinking that he was overtired, i put him down for his nap at 9:30. he only slept 45 minutes and awoke hysterical and continued to cry for a very long time. i picked him up and held him while he cried. then i tried to put him back down at 12:30 since his 1st nap was so short. i ended up doing pd for an hour until he finally gave up and slept fitfully for an hour. hysterical again when he awoke. i am going to put him down at 6 tonight. does that sound right? his sched used to be before all this muck...
7:30 wake & bottle
8-9 play
9 eat
9:30 til 10:30 play
10:30-12 sleep
12 lunch
12:30-2 play
2 snack (this is when his grandma comes because I have work from 3-7 everyday. i recently quit my job because i feel i need to be around more. also she has a very difficult time putting him down for a nap. this is why he started to miss it daily. i told her everyday to please put hikm down at 3:30 but she wouldn't try until 4:30 and by then he was overtired and only slept around 30 min)
3:30-4:30 nap (ideally when i am home)
4:30 snack
5-6 play
6 dinner
7 bath bottle
7:30-8 sleep

he had followed this routine for almost 4 months and it was wonderful. i should have done more research on OT because i thought it was a good thing he was so tired at night and slept right through.

yesterday he only slept from 11:30-12:30 and then his grandma let him sleep from 4:30-5. Not nearly enough sleep for him and his nw's apeared because of OT. let me know what you think of all this please...

[lesorl]

I've found that even when OT, my lo won't sleep if her A time is greatly reduced.  I've gone in circles with my lo putting her down super early, only to have her wake up soon after.  So I'd try getting him to nap at set times- 10:30am and 3:30pm everyday, and a 7pm bedtime (or even earlier if you think he'll accept it or if he doesn't take a good pm nap).

At least that's what I've learned.

Leslie

[chesterella]

ok so i out him in a 6:30 tonight and he didn't fall alseep until 10!! i don't know what to do, he's just getting more and more overtired. he's still fussing and waking crying and it's 11 now. how do i stop this? is there anything i can do to help him from being so overtired?

[Layla]

Chesterella, as a rule of thumb, at that age I was working on set morning nap time and A times in the afternoon.

For example, I would give my dd a nap around 9am in the morning (she would wake anywhere from 5.30-6am) and let her nap for 45mins. Then I would do the afternoon nap around 3.25hrs later.. so that she would be asleep by 3.5hrs A time.

So in your case, you said he took a morning nap at 9.30am (which would have ended at 10:"15am) and then you tried for a nap around 12.30 and did pu/pd for an hour. Well I think he was probably NOT tired enough for a nap around 12.30 because on a 45min nap, he would have been able to stay awake for about 3hrs.

So try to aim for something like this:

7am - wake
10ish - morning nap (wake him up 45mins into the nap)
10:45ish - morning nap ends
2pm - afternoon nap
3.30pm - nap ends
7pm - bedtime

There is no point trying for an earlier bedtime if his pm nap ends at 5pm.... he is just not going to be tired enough at 6-6.30pm and if he does fall asleep then you'll get nightwakings. A nap too late into the afternoon can also cause nightwakings. Try not to have him take the pm nap any later than 4pm.

Let me know how things are going
Layla

[chesterella]

hi laya and thanks for the help
he was on that sched perfectly until last week. but what if he wakes at 8? do i put him down at 11:30 for his 1st nap and then again at 4 for his 2nd? that was how this whole thing got started. i didn't know where to fit in his 2nd nap and so it was dropped completely and he became overtired. if i could just get him back to being well rested i believe he would take his naps again. he usually wakes around 7-7:30 and i give him his nap around 10-11. is that right or should it be earlier?
so basically i shoujld cut the morning nap shorter to have a longer afternoon nap, right?

[Layla]

Ok, so if he wakes up at 8am then you don't try to fit in 2 naps... you offer him just 1 nap around 12.30 or so. Thats what I did with my girls when we were going through the 2-1 nap switch.... on the days she would wake around 6am (and even if before 6am), I used to do nap around 9-9.30am & if she wouldn't be asleep for that nap by say 10am, then I would forget about the mornign nap and aim for 1 nap around 11ish. If she happen to sleep in the morning until 6.30-7am, I would still put her in the cot around 9.30am but more than likely she wouldn't sleep. She would have a bit of quiet play and then we would do 1 nap around 11ish (which in your case would be around 12ish cause mine was an earlier riser than yours .

Its a bit tricky with meals, etc.... so you can either do an early lunch around 11.30am or do a big snack and lunch after nap.

[chesterella]

and what about him being overtired? the last 3 days i have been putting him down for his 1st nap at 9-9:30 and he sleeps until 11. then he refuses his 2nd nap and is overtired when it comes to bedtime. i don't want to try to keep him up later than 9:30 for his 1st nap because then he is overtired. again, this is allllll new. he was doing fine with his nap at 10:30-11 everyday and a catnap at night. oh yeah, and to top it off, now he has a cold! yikes! do you think the cold is what may have started this whole thing? thanks again....

[Layla]

Ok, well I think that the morning nap is too long now and if he cannot sleep in the PM with such a long am nap then you need to either consider waking him up in the morning and shorten the morning nap to say 45mins OR you need to work towards pushing out his morning nap until its closer to middle of his day. When the 2nd nap is missed, you really need to put him down for bedtime earlier... I would do 6.30-7pm rather than 7.30-8pm.

He is really meeting his daily sleep requirements by sleeping 1.5-2hrs in the morning.

[chesterella]

last night he woke twice for 2 hours each! yikes! i'm sure it's his cold. i will see how his sleeps goes as his cold gets better.

[lesorl]

hi chesterella-

I just wanted to check in and let you know I'm following your thread, but you're in good hands with Layla's advice.  She has much more experience than I do...

Shortening the am nap never worked for my lo, I had to keep pushing the am nap later.  So if he's sleeping well at that nap, I'd try pushing it later and later, about 10-15 mins every 3 days or so.

Hope you have a better night and your lo feels better soon.

Leslie

[chesterella]

hi again everyone
well....i don't know. i thought i was fixing everything just fine and his cold has gotten better but his naps are all over the place. i  moved his morning nap to 11. he falls asleep just fine but only stays asleep for 45min-1 hr. now this would be fine if he could take a 2nd nap in the day but he won't. so i have been putting him down earlier for bedtime but even a 6:30-7 bedtime is a stretch for A time, he's completely exhausted. if i put him down any earlier than 6:30-7 he wakes up too early in the morning and then getting him to take his first nap at 11 is stretching the A time too much. How do I get him to take longer naps? is he overtired in the morning? is that why he only sleeps 45min- 1hr? should i do wake to sleep? does that work in 1 yr olds? *sigh*

[Layla]

I would probably go back to morning and afternoon nap. It really doesn't have to be 2 naps or 1 ... there will be days when he will clearly need to take 2 naps....

As a guide try to put him down for a morning nap earlier... maybe around 10am, wake him up 45mins into the nap (or he will wake on his own) and then try for a pm nap about 3.5hrs later.

You can try w2s... it does work. I've done it with Jasmine for naps.

[chesterella]

but he resists the 2nd nap. i know he's tired but he won't fall alseep. he just lays there and babbles for an hour. he also will not fall asleep at 10am because he wakes at 7-7:30. so, this makes him getting only 1 hour of nap time a day! i don't know what to do.... do i move his morning nap up? how will he make a healthy 2-1 transition if he's only taking one 1 hour nap in the morning?