A question about blankies...

[Emmy's Mum]

Hello

I have an almost 3 yr old who has always been a great sleeper - however, she used to suck her finger and hold a blankie. My uncle who is a dentist said that she was getting buck teeth, so, since she only sucked her finger with her blankie - the only way to stop it was to wean her off it. Anyways, to cut a long story short - we did do that (with minimal fuss surprisingly!) and she has stopped sucking for 2 months now. But, since then - she has started with night wakings and settling her has only gotten more and more difficult and dramatic. I am considering giving her back her blankie (I really think she still needs that security - she's wanting to climb into our bed and wanting us to stay with her of a night now) - but I don't want her to restart her finger sucking....

Am I best to leave it alone and keep on or is it best to reintroduce the blankie?? Has anyone had similar experiences?

TIA 
 
Annie

[oilerbaby]

Oh yikes... I think you just predicted my future with your post!  My ds is 14 months and LOVES his blankie and also sucks his fingers (two middle ones on his left) but only with his blankie.  I'm trying to imagine what I would do (or what I might have to do in two years time!).  Well, I would have to say that right now if it's been gone for two months that you shouldn't give it back - but that's way easier said than done because she's not my child.  You could tell her that you are considering letting her sleep with her blankie but if she sucks her finger then you'll have to take it away again.  You could also explain that it's going to hurt her teeth if you decide to try this.  I know you can also get some kind of pokey thing "cemented" into their mouth at the top of their mouth behind the teeth which is mean to discourage finger sucking.  I don't think I'd ever resort to that but my Mom always said to never say never. 

HOWEVER... then I think of my little man and how hard it would be to not give him back his blankie... not sure how helpful I'm being!   

Keep me posted cause I'm sure this will be me posting in 2 years time!

[Emmy's Mum]

Hello Oilerbaby

We actually weaned our dd off her blankie accidentally believe it or not. We'd been talking abt it for awhile but I kept putting it off because she so loved it. She actually threw up on it when she was sick and all the spares were at grandma's place so she slept without it for that night - and after that we just kept telling her that it was in the wash/dirty until she got used to life without. She only ever wanted it in times of stress or when she was really sick... Apparently we only have until they turn 4 or so before finger sucking does permanent damage - so you still have a bit of time up your sleeve. But yes, it was really really hard for me to withold it from her (esp when she was sick and needed the extra comfort), but dh was strong and kept me at it....It was hard because I felt like my baby was well and truly gone then...if that makes sense 

[oilerbaby]

Totally makes sense!  TBH my 7 (almost year old still has her blanket - but she never did suck her fingers, was a soother kid.  It's so tattered and gets smaller and smaller with every wash!  So what do you think you're going to do?  I think the night wakings are bound to improve sooner or later right?  You know, when the girls used to want to come into our bed for a bit we always used to say to them "just for five minutes" and they never argued when we took them back to their beds (still works this way actually and they are 5 and 7).  Keep me posted!  I'm gonna book mark this one so I know what do to in 3 years!!!

[Layla]

Oh Gosh... this is me in the future as well!!!

Jasmine sucks her blanket (minus fingers) and has been for the last (almost) 2 years. I am not really concerned though although I am not sure how its effecting her teeth at the moment. They look ok to me .

I think with the nightwakings, you have to be really patient with her and offer lots of support (hugs and if she needs you to stay with her) and maybe do gradual withdrawal method...

I would give her something to replace the blanket with.... maybe a new soft toy or another blanket.. you know cause like you said, she probably does need something as a comfort object.

hth a little
Layla

[oilerbaby]

I had a friend whose daughter sucked her blankie until she was 5+ and there was never any issue with teeth... hopefully the same goes with you and she can keep her blankie!  I really hope Jeremy's teeth don't become an issue cause it doesn't bother me that he has his blankie - even if it's till he's 7 or 8 cause I know he'll be rid of it someday anyways.  Crazy how your thoughts change when your third one comes around - I'm so much more relaxed!

[Emmy's Mum]

I totally agree that I wouldn't care how long our dd kept her blankie (even into her teen yrs if she wants to!) but I have seen the teeth of children who continued to suck their fingers and it's not pretty...that's why we started to worry...I'm still in two minds abt returning it to her...atm dd has a little pink umbrella that she sleeps with - loves it almost as much as her blankie  - but it doesn't seem to have the same security properties (if you know what i mean?).

Am I being neurotic abt the whole thing???

[oilerbaby]

You know - I was driving yesterday thinking about this whole blankie thing... first, because they are still her baby teeth, is it still going to cause problems?  I mean, does sucking her finger now with baby teeth make her permanent adult teeth wreck as well?  Second... I sucked my finger for years and then switched over to my thumb and sucked my thumb until I was twelve and my teeth are find - no buck teeth and they are perfectly straight.  But my dd2 had a soother until she was 2 1/2 ish and one of the reasons we wanted to take it away was because of her front teeth, they weren't really buck per say but when she closed her mouth (molars touching at the back) there was about a 1cm gap inbetween the top and bottom front.  We "forgot" her soother at Grandma's house and she didn't even ask for it again and over the next 6 months her teeth shifted back into their proper place and now her teeth are fine (she's 5 1/2).  AND I don't think you' being neurotic at all!

[Emmy's Mum]

Maybe it depends on the way the finger is sucked?? I wasn't too worried either (in fact I encouraged it because she was such a good sleeper after she started) but my dentist uncle did a brief checkup and he said that her front teeth are already being pushed out. In extreme cases it apparently affects not just the teeth but the structure of the mouth so braces wouldn't even help...I wonder if maybe he was just trying to scare us into doing something about it??

Also, once stopped - the teeth do move back - esp when they're really young.

I just asked my dd this morning if she'd like her blankie back and if so would she still suck her finger with it - her reply "no I'm big now - I'm not a baby anymore so I don't want it" - so I probably won't return it - but it does confirm - my baby's gone !   

[oilerbaby]

Oh that is sad!  Well you still got the little guy to go through at least!  I guess you don't have to make a decision about it anymore... I'm glad you posted though!

[Emmy's Mum]

Hi ladies - just an update to let you know that I did end up returning the blankie to dd after all - and now she's sleeping through again - without the sucking of the finger The time without it has been beneficial as the blankie is only needed when at home for sleeps - when we go to grandparents' or daycare - it doesn't have to come along anymore....Just thought I'd let you know in case you ever considered weaning your little ones off their blankie

Annie

[Layla]

Good to hear she's back to STTN .

[oilerbaby]

Great!   I'm glad things are going well for you!  One question though...  how the heck did you manage that without her sucking her finger? 

[Emmy's Mum]

I struck a bargain with her  I basically told her that if I caught her sucking her finger again then the blankie will go away again until she stops. I did take it away for a couple of minutes when she insisted on sucking her finger and she hasn't done it since (we spot checked for the first couple of nights whilst she was asleep to see if she reverted). But she does have her finger up near her mouth when holding her blankie...She's just stoked to get it back I think!