Author Topic: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.  (Read 1575 times)

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Offline gian's mommy

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My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« on: April 13, 2008, 05:08:02 am »
Help!

My baby boy has been on EASY since month 03 and it's been wonderful. But something has changed. For the last five days when I put him down for the night, he won't fall asleep on his own. I do the PU/PD until he settles, then I place my hand on his back for a few minutes until I feel that his breathing is regular and his overall demeanor is calm. He is quiet and sucking his fingers and apparently sleeping until I leave his room. As soon as he hears the door open and close, he starts screaming. And it continues until I either come back in and PU/PD or I let him cry it out until he falls asleep. I know Hogg doesn't approve of the latter and I'm frustrated. Here's his schedule (it varies, but it's usually like this):

E   between 0700 - 0730
A   0730
S   0900

E   1100
A   1130
S   between 1300 - 1345 (and 2-3 times a week he only sleeps for 45 minutes to 1 hour)

E   1500
A   1530

E   between 1730 and 1830
A   1830 (bath, worship, down time)
S   between 1900-1930

Until recently (the past 5 days) he's been going down so smoothly. I would put him in his crib, he would find his fingers, and slurp away until he fell asleep. Now he'll cry as soon as I leave the room. What am I doing wrong? Any help will be much appreciated. Thanks!  ;D

Offline rinajack

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2008, 05:14:26 am »
It could simply be that SA has reared its ugly head, that is the age it happened at our house.  IF that is the case, then gradual withdrawal is likely your best bet.
Rina - Mum to Zara 29/3/06
                     Hugh 26/8/07
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Offline vadensmommy

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2008, 18:03:57 pm »
Teething does it for us as well.  Vaden is a late teether - is just now getting her first upper tooth/tooth #3.  She's been a mess.  Then an ear infection has come on, and that has not helped matters either.  Have you tried pain meds, or teething gel, and see if that helps??

He also may be on the way to the 2-1 nap switch.  He may either be OT by bedtime from a short pm nap, or not tired enough just yet to go to sleep.  If you suspect that this may be the problem, you may consider shortening his am nap (not sure how long it currently is, but I am assuming it is still 2hrs??) to see if he will take a more consistently longer pm nap. 

What do you think??


Offline DebLillian

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2008, 00:02:01 am »
I have a touchy child who just goes through stages like what you describe after months of beautifully self soothing.  The reasons I have determined that it happens are one of the following:
1.  General separation anxiety (my dd had/has had this forever)
2.  Discomfort: teething or tummy aches
3.  Overtired/overstimulated- she was very overtired when learning to walk
4.  Something in her room that she doesn't like- she HATES the shadows that nightlights cast (or even her clock) and it took me forever to figure this out.  I also added a bumper to her crib at that age to block her view of the room while she drifted to sleep.
5.  Crying in her crib for any reason.  We have never left her to CIA but even the crying that goes along with PU/PD caused her to cry for a couple days when I put her down- probably related to SA (as I said, she's a touchy child!)

What you describe really sounds like separation anxiety and you might want to try a gradual withdrawl approach to leaving the room.  He might just need you to stick around a bit longer now just to make sure that you'll be there when he needs you.  One of the things that I have done is to leave the bedroom door open and stand at the door and sing to her until she is clearly settled and no longer needs me.

Good luck.  Let us know how things turn out.
Deb, Mom to Lillian 2.25.07 & Phoebe 2.10.09

Offline gian's mommy

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2008, 05:06:46 am »
Thanks, mommies, your advice is so valuable AND appreciated. I'm going to try and do a gradual withdrawal. I think he's ready for the 2 to 1 nap, but I'll try the gradual withdrawal first. I also think - like you said, DebLillian, that he hates something in his room, too. According to my mom I couldn't sleep without a light from a very early age so he might be like me. I think I'll add a bumper too.

Again, ladies, THANK YOU! I'll post again in a few days to update you.

Offline vadensmommy

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2008, 21:41:28 pm »
I've always been afraid that V would use the bumper to try and climb out of her crib, but I've got this bag that hangs outside the crib that holds some of her stuffed animals, and it blocks out the light, but she can't climb on it to get out of the crib.  Dunno why I've been scared of her climbing out.  She's not even walking, and isn't a very physically adventurous child.  Just paranoid mommy :P


Offline DebLillian

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2008, 23:36:00 pm »
Yeah, I resisted the bumper b/c they say you should remove it by standing age so I figured "what is the point!"   But even though Lillian was an early stander/walker, it hasn't been a problem for us at all.  Lillian snuggles up to it and hasn't once tried to jump the rail.  They do make breathable bumpers that can't be used to climb...
Deb, Mom to Lillian 2.25.07 & Phoebe 2.10.09

Offline momuvtwins

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2008, 06:34:06 am »
Deblilian, I too have a touchy dd and she is very similar to what you've outlined to your dd. I am now trying to get her to sleep on her own after trying gradual methods of unswaddling,shshpatting. starting last night, I am putting her down and lying in the bed in her room. How long did you do this for? I'm assuming until she goes down peacefully?
If she is OT now, does she revert back to crying?

dd was just becoming addicted to sshpat and swaddle and walk in walk out and the slightest times I missed her sleep window...even by 15 mins or so, bam it took at least 1hr to put her to sleep...its too bad that i'm figuring all of this out now:( oh well, better now than never! I will keep the seperation anxiety in mind as we are going to start her slowly in daycare once a week beginning July.

Offline DebLillian

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2008, 11:37:12 am »
momuvtwins-  Oh yes, we swaddled and shshpatted forever.  She slept in our room until she was 8mo old (in her crib).  I tried to slowly move the crib away from our bed starting at 6mo which did not work.  I have learned with her that sometimes it's best to just go for what I want and nurture her through it rather than make the transition last a long time.  Once she moved to her room I slept in there nearly every night for all or some portion for at least 4 months (usually from 4am on).  Then I slept in the hallway outside her room and tried to talk her through everything (then I slept in the next room).  Anyway, she does go to sleep peacefully now but she reverts to crying if she is OT or anything is off.  I was very consistent with talking to her whenever I put her down so now as long as she is not too overtired I can just pop my head in her door and say "sleepy time" and she'll lay down and go to sleep (this took forever).  I admire you having to do this with twins!  My first thought when things are tough is always "what would I do if I had two?!"
Deb, Mom to Lillian 2.25.07 & Phoebe 2.10.09

Offline momuvtwins

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2008, 16:59:39 pm »
:))) Yes and thank God only one is Touchy baby and the other is textbook:)It's funny you mentioning sleeping in your room and her room...did that too...haven't slept in the hallway yet...maybe yet to come?! ;)...Just this past day I am doing the PD method in combo with walk in/out...cold turkey no swaddle, no pat. its been up and down with a max of 1 hour and a half but she has been settling down to sleep on her own which is GRRREAT no more 'carpel tunnel syndrome' as someone else had posted!:)...lots of crying though:( but less and less...I'll try the talking to her before bed. I have been very unemotional after I feed her and kiss her goodnight....I think I'm putting her to bed a bit too early b/c I'm anticipating an hour and a half of PD..this is to prevent the OT...but I think it takes longer b/c she's not tired and therefore plays. what do you think?

Anyways..just thoughts...it feels good to share!:)

Offline DebLillian

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2008, 17:27:33 pm »
yes, it's so hard to get that window right... too early and they aren't tired, too late and they're OT.  I say hold off a bit and it might not take an hour to get her down.

Carpel tunnel syndrome- LOL!!  Been there.
Deb, Mom to Lillian 2.25.07 & Phoebe 2.10.09

Offline momuvtwins

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2008, 06:49:22 am »
dd slept through the night wooohooo! Let's keep it going!:)

Offline DebLillian

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Re: My 12.0 month old won't fall asleep on his own anymore.
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2008, 12:25:46 pm »
YIPPPPEEEE!
Deb, Mom to Lillian 2.25.07 & Phoebe 2.10.09