Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...

[Vicku]

It just seems like knowing how great bfing is for mother and especially child, it should be the formula fed babies and their mothers getting the dirty looks more so than the bfing ones, not that formula feeding is bad some times it is necessary but i live in the us and most of the mothers I know that formula feed do it for their own vanity.

That happens here in Sweden, that people give dirty looks to a ff mother of a small baby. I know a friend who ff (not by choice) and was actually told off at a wedding for not bfing her baby. Otherwise most people here that I know would assume a mother can't bf if ffing. Just shows the difference in different parts of the world again...

we were visiting friends yesterday and i thought of this thread when ds1 was playing with the baby doll and used its bottle to give it.....

EYE DROPS!

what the heck else could a bottle be for? 

LMAO!

[shivi]

ff mothers get VERY dirty looks here too!!! My childminder once had to explain that it was my EBM in Oscar's bottle and that she was his nanny to an inquisitive passer-by with dirty looks!!!

Poland is all for bfeeding to the extent that it makes some unsuccessful bfeeding mothers feel REALLY REALLY inadequate....

So Poland and Sweden similar in this respect....

[anniedooday]

definately meant no disrespect I hope you didn't feel it. It is a shame that anyone judge anybody I think the point to be made is to mind your own business if you are walking by someone breast or bottle feeding evryone has differant circumstances, but to think someone tsking or shaming someone for what god originally planned the breasts for IS shameful.

[anniedooday]

Interesting about that last bottles comment - since I don't have a good sleeper, every single person who I mention it to (I try not to mention it much now) tells me to quit BF and bottle feed!

               I breastfed both my girls and they were sleeping through the night by 2 and1/2  mo and the second 3mo and I dont meanfive hours (thats not through-the-night to me) 8 hours at least.

[rinajack]

Interesting about that last bottles comment - since I don't have a good sleeper, every single person who I mention it to (I try not to mention it much now) tells me to quit BF and bottle feed!

               I breastfed both my girls and they were sleeping through the night by 2 and1/2  mo and the second 3mo and I dont meanfive hours (thats not through-the-night to me) 8 hours at least.

And I FF my DD from 10 weeks, she is 2 now and still often doesn't sleep through....it doesn't matter how you feed them, some are good sleepers, some are not.

[kim&savannah]

...it doesn't matter how you feed them, some are good sleepers, some are not.

So true!  I stopped bfing mine at 14 months and 16 months, and both finally started sleeping through at 18 months--nothing to do with the feedings, obviously--just when their internal clocks FINALLY decided that they could make it through the night without bothering us for one thing or another.

~Kim

[Vicku]

definately meant no disrespect I hope you didn't feel it. It is a shame that anyone judge anybody I think the point to be made is to mind your own business if you are walking by someone breast or bottle feeding evryone has differant circumstances, but to think someone tsking or shaming someone for what god originally planned the breasts for IS shameful.

Oh no, no offence taken at all! Totally agree with you on that! Just wanted to show the difference between different places and of course it would help if all people were unjudgemental and minded their own business no matter what a mother is feeding their LO... as you can't possibly know the story behind it.

/Vick

[Mommymac]

I am definately pro public breastfeeding, but I do believe we as women should cover up to avoid embarrasing other people's husbands, fathers and brothers. Just because we have the right doesn't mean we need to embarras others. Just my opinion. I breastfeed almost anywhere, but I always use a receiving blanket to cover up.

[shivi]

sorry about the "respect" topic....think it was my fault...

Poland/Sweden the same in this repect......I meant in this way! nothing to do with respect/lack of respect!!!!

anyway, as for sleeping thro...I bfed for 16 months and Oscar was sleeping with help of df (till 10 mths LOL) thro from 16 weeks....is actually a worse sleeper since I stopped bfeeding or rather since he moved to big boy bed....oh well!

Siobhain x

[fifibobandmore]

just read about the virgin mary story and  I think that is so sweet and just to also say my daughter who was bfed until she was 18 months bf's her dollies in the house as I have said to her that when we go out with her dolls she should give her dolls a bottle instead of boobie as people will think she is being dirty unless we are in the baby room then she can bf her doll. She loves sitting next to me when I am bfing her baby brother and giving her dolls a bf.

[KittysMum]

I've always hated my breasts, being incredibly flat chested, to the point that I won't wear a swimsuit on the beach (unless it's very flatteringly padded) so I expected breast feeding to be out for me.

The first thing I bought when I knew I was expecting was a breast feeding cape (hooter hider) and really worried about how I would manage feeding in public. I actually considered bottle feeding so that I wouldn't have to deal with the problem.

But, incredibly, when it came to it, I found I didn't give a monkeys! I've not used the cape once. I first fed in front of an elderly female neighbour and that was fine. She didn't bat an eyelid and I think that gave me confidence.

I expected feeding in front of my FIL and Dad to be really embarrassing, but I think their reactions (neither bat an eyelid) have helped enormously.

I started feeding by undoing my shirt, so that I could see what I was doing, but now I'm a bit more used to it, I can hitch my t-shirt up and pop Kitty almost underneath it. I wear a special feeding belly band top underneath my t-shirts, so next to no skin is revealed at all.

At church, I make sure we sit on the front row so that none of the elderly gents are offended by a glimpse of nipple as I get her latched on. I've found most people aren't even aware I'm feeding and just think we're having a cuddle.

I fed Kitty on the bus the other day, which went fine, although it wasn't easy as it was so bumpy! It helped that there weren't many people on the bus, as there's the inevitable flash of flesh as she gets into position.

I've totally surprised myself with how relaxed I've felt about it. Perhaps it helps that my boobs are a nice size now they're full of milk (wish it lasted!) I think at the end of the day, I just felt 'my baby needs feeding and this is the best stuff for her; sod what anyone else may or may not think'.

I've not had any negative reactions yet. The only situation I won't feed in is when there are teenage boys around, (like at our church youth group) as it doesn't seem fair to embarrass them.

[username]

I wasn't able to exclusively bf my first baby, so when it comes to feeding my second, I am happy to bf her anywhere, anytime - almost always with a thought to: "see, I CAN do it!"  OK, OK, it's prideful and has nothing to do with the wholesome "it's best for the baby."  Though it's definitely NOT the only reason I "NIP" [nurse in public - just glanced through, didn't read previous posts closely & don't know if that term has been used/explained here], I'd have to admit it's one of the top motivating factors for my "whip it out" tendencies.   
As for the poll, I picked the older women category simply because it included 30 & up.  Though I've found elderly women one of the most supportive, smiling, & approving groups, it's the women in that 40 to 55 age group that seems to give me the most "bad vibes" about NIP.  I have not experienced anyone actually talking to me about it, but a few less-than-pleased looks have been cast my way by women (in my MIL's age group), whom I figure might just be feeling guilty for not bfing their babes too.  Perhaps, as I've gathered from discussions with my MIL, they feel that because I bf in public, I am self-righteous about it & they get a sort of feminist-defensive-indignation.  Pretty ironic really, considering that nursing your children is one of the most feminine things a woman can do!

[rinajack]

nursing your children is one of the most feminine things a woman can do!

I completely agree, and I think that sums up how I feel about BF and the role of my breasts.  I think that being able to BF my baby, rather than being a choice for me between their role in feeding the baby, and their role in my sex life, I feel the two are intertwined.  Being able to BF my baby is the ultimate feminine experience (as is giving birth), it is one thing that definitely distinguishes male from female, and in that way actually makes me feel sexy iykwim....not in a lurid way obviously, and not thinking about the actual act of sex whilst feeding (as if I have time to think about sex that often LOL).  Having bottle fed my first from a young age, and now exclusively BF my second, I also feel it confirms for me my role as the mother, as opposed to my role as a parent iykwim, because it is something that only the mother can do, and the feeding is not shared with the father. (please noone take this as a criticism of formula feeding, there are other benefits, like the exceptionally strong bond my first has with her father).

[MaeDoLucas]

I live in Brazil now, but I am moving back to Florida in a month, and now I'm totally freaked out. Here, breastfeeding is encouraged. No one would ever say anything negative about it. Women here usually don't cover up, either. I've seen many women feeding their baby with the breast completely out of a strapless or loose-fitting shirt. If anyone watches, it's just to say, oh, how beautiful. No one says anything about formula feeding either, of course many women here have nannies, so it is more convenient for them to formula feed. I wonder what I will run into back in the U.S. I get offended pretty easily, so I hope I don't get too stressed.

[EllenS]

I lived in Miami for a while, and while I never saw anyone NIP (the part of Miami I knew was (except me) heavily young surfer-types or gay), I can't imagine anyone making an issue of it.  Miami is very relaxed about clothing and showing a lot of skin is practically mandatory.