Poll

Which of these groups do you feel is more likely to be uncomfortable about a mother breastfeeding in public?

young male onlookers (16-30)
73 (30.9%)
older male onlookers (30+)
95 (40.3%)
young women (16-30)
11 (4.7%)
older women (30+)
25 (10.6%)
the actual mothers who are breastfeeding
32 (13.6%)

Total Members Voted: 227

Author Topic: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...  (Read 38088 times)

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Offline Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #150 on: May 14, 2008, 09:32:59 am »
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Offline Ness01

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #151 on: May 16, 2008, 10:08:18 am »
My LO is 11 mths old and I am still BFing, and I am definitely a "whip it out" gal, but with modesty in public. In private I've never felt the need to hide myself when with close friends or my family.

I think that BFing in public is necessary as we can't expect mums to stay at home 24/7, but I do think common courtesy of modesty should be practised. ie; if you're in a shopping mall and need to BF then go to the parents room, don't sit on the bench outside the supermarket with your breast in full view of everyone (as I saw a few weeks ago). And if you are in a situation with no parents room, use a muslin cloth or clothing to provide yourself with some privacy. I do believe that if you don't want to see someone BFing then don't look, but lets not offend the public by bearing all.

Offline Jocasta

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #152 on: May 16, 2008, 11:01:05 am »
I think that BFing in public is necessary as we can't expect mums to stay at home 24/7, but I do think common courtesy of modesty should be practised. ie; if you're in a shopping mall and need to BF then go to the parents room, don't sit on the bench outside the supermarket with your breast in full view of everyone (as I saw a few weeks ago). And if you are in a situation with no parents room, use a muslin cloth or clothing to provide yourself with some privacy. I do believe that if you don't want to see someone BFing then don't look, but lets not offend the public by bearing all.

See I completely disagree!  I actually won't use a parents room unless there is a specific breast feeding area that is nowhere near the nappy bins as I wouldn't chose to eat around that smell and sure as hell won't make DD2 eat around it either!  I will only use a breast feeding room if it's more convenient for ME!  I think that women should be able to feed wherever, whenever HOWEVER! 

Having said that I am pretty discreet, for personal reasons - I don't want everyone seeing my breasts!  The thing is though, it's not always possible to be 100% discreet when you are a large breasted woman (40EE here!) - I'm better now than I used to be and do a pretty good job but in the early days with DD1, crikey lol!

Despite being pretty discreet, I got accosted yesterday!  I was in a local Shopping mall - Starbucks to be exact when a woman came up to me and said (and I quote) "you should be ashamed - exposing yourself like that.  John Lewis has a perfectly good breast feeding room and instead you chose to make everyone around you feel uncomfortable - if you have to feed your baby in a coffee shop, then use a bottle!".  Suffering with PND this confrontation was the LAST thing I needed.   I held it together though and responded "well, you'd better be careful walking past La Sensa as there's far more exposure of naked flesh on their posters" (I don't even know f that's true :-[)

I then started a ramble about "gee, lets increas my baby's chance of cotdeath, cancer, adult obesity and my chance of breast and ovarian cancers just to make these ignorant people feel comfortable..."  I said all this far too loudly and was very appreciative that the lady sitting practically next to me feeding her baby a bottle of formula was kind enough not to retaliate!

The worst thing was that NO nipple or areola was showing and there was a tiny, tiny bit of skin to the side between top and baby that could possibly have been seen.  Had this not have been the first time I ventured out ALONE with PND (on the advice of DH and HV), I probably wouldn't have felt so defenseless and victimised but I just wanted to die right then and there.  To top the lot the bloody car wouldn't start either.  Yesterday was NOT a good day and needless to say today I've stayed at home!

fifibobandmore

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #153 on: May 16, 2008, 11:11:10 am »
How ignorant of that stupid and imature woman I wonder if she has children and if she does how she feed them. I have asked my local shopping mall to put a poster up advertising bf in public and told them that if they want I am more than happy to make the poster myself and put a picture of me and my baby on it bf so that other bf mums know that they are welcome to bf in public in the shopping mall. They have said they will look in to seeing if they can get a poster advertising bf and will put in bold lettering that bf is welcome in public.

Good for you foir standing up for your rights and with with PND as well you should be proud of yourself. WELL DONE

em_here

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #154 on: May 16, 2008, 11:15:15 am »
How awful Jo!!! That really really stinks, good for you for standing up for yourself and not slapping her round the head! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Offline Jocasta

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #155 on: May 16, 2008, 11:16:05 am »
I forgot to mention that she was with two others who looked like her mother and grandmother.  They all got up and left drinks un-drunk and walked out apparently disgusted!  Starbucks isn't cheap so what a waste of money!

Offline woopster

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #156 on: May 16, 2008, 12:34:44 pm »
Jo, if you want to go back with some company in the next couple of weeks, I'll gladly come with you. DH is off over half term.

As for showing ya boobies - I'm more worried that I'm showing my jelly belly!!  ::)
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Offline Jocasta

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #157 on: May 16, 2008, 12:56:51 pm »
As for showing ya boobies - I'm more worried that I'm showing my jelly belly!!  ::)

Still wearing my "over the bump" maternity jeans for that exact reason lol!

And as for the company, sounds like a plan!!!  Let me know when you're free!

Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #158 on: May 16, 2008, 15:07:57 pm »
HUGE hugs Jo. Wouldn't it be great if you could just come back with, 'it's my legal right to feed my baby here' as you could in Scotland. How desperately sad that people feel it necessary to make comments like that when you are clearly simply meeting your baby's needs. Parent rooms are often so unhygenic and reek of nappies. Obviously our babies are completely dependent on breathing through their noses during a feed and if they can smell a nappy smell that means that they are inhaling particles of faeces and bacteria. No thanks!!! For what?

When I was on GMTV out of curiousity I poked around a few chat forums that night and one thread was discussing me and they were debating feeding in public and a woman said, 'did you see GMTV? You couldn't see anything when that woman was feeding' - very true.

Starbucks have a pretty good policy in support of breastfeeding. Managers got an education when someone was daft a few years ago and pressure groups responded. No one should ever be asked to leave a Starbucks. For breastfeeding awareness week I went round the local cafes and chatted to the managers about supporting mums feeding (and some took 'Breastfeeding Welcome' stickers). The Starbucks manager was super nice and took a little poster advertising local breastfeeding support groups and put it on the noticeboard in front of me.
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Offline lisi's mum

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #159 on: May 16, 2008, 16:05:12 pm »
Jo, good for you for sticking up for yourself, and huge hugs it's awful you had to do so in the first place!

That lady should be careful to steer clear of Starbucks in Vienna - it sometimes seems that the majority of it's customers have a baby attached to them as it's one of the only smoke free comfortable places to sit!
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Offline Diana1981

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #160 on: May 16, 2008, 16:14:33 pm »
I never BF in public. I don't like it. I pump the milk and take it with me. But for me it also depends how the mother starts Bf in public. If she just takes out her breast without being cautious for everyone to see i dint like it, but if she puts a cloth diaper on her breast and pretty much only takes her nipple out I'm OK.




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Offline Lucie preciosa

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #161 on: May 16, 2008, 16:35:00 pm »
Older male for sure!!! they are really uncomfortable, but I did not care. My daughter was first. Female audience were really nice, you get that sort of approval look. I don't think England has enough BF friendly places, even though when at hospital and HV will encourage you to BF at leats the first 6 months.
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Offline Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #162 on: May 16, 2008, 17:08:47 pm »
Just wanted to add how discusted i am at that awfull woman, how bloody rude Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.>:(

I would come on that outing with you if you lived near me, shame we couldn't all go how very funny would that be!! ;D

Hope its not put you off :-*

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Offline woopster

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #163 on: May 16, 2008, 18:15:25 pm »
Emma, is there any chance of us following Scotland and making it illegal to discriminate against bf mums?
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Offline squeaky's mum

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Re: Breastfeeding in public - your thoughts please...
« Reply #164 on: May 16, 2008, 18:31:57 pm »
Jocassta,

I worry about your experience happening to me every time I feed in public. I didn't really feed dd out in public that much, only when I had no alternative. I was ok with friends etc, but a bit timid with 'Joe public'. This time around (with ds) I will feed anywhere but am nervous about it. The last thing I want is a confrontation.

My only negative experience was with dd. She was having her 1st baby immunisations and I asked (asked!! next time I just got on with it) the nurse if I could bf in the waiting room after Sophie's jabs. She said NO! I might offend some of the old men! And this was at the doctors surgery. I was furious.I've never asked anyone ever again. Now I've learnt if my baby needs feeding, then he gets his milk, whever we happen to be. I'm still nervous about it though!

I guess though, the more we do it, the more normal it wil become and the more comfortable new mums will feel bf and so on and possibly the more support bf mums will get from their family.

Claire

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