Day 1- calling all friends/experts/huggers/open ears etc

[yaya]

Hi everyone,. was fefling pretty rough with my first migraine ever thats lasted 2 days so havent got to the puter much!
Update on us, well Day 1 was good and we have since had 2 long naps, no extension nothing then the migraine hit and ICOULD NOT do the sleep training...terrible I kow but I just needed them into bed and asleep QUICK so I could sit and cry in pain.
Anyway last night was ok, she woke a lot but only needed repluggin which is great as this means if I can teach her to find pacis we should be sorted! Tonight I got bak into it and wa strict. Did not pu once, let her play till she fusses then layed her down wanted her to the gett the message that sleep was going to happen in bed. With minimal cryig (coz I STILL am rushing there too quick) and no pu she went to sleep after 1 hr....-...
What dp u hink? success? not?? HSe then woke twice in 10 mins, repluged paci and she was fine. The cries have upset me a bout as they werent the usual whiy cries but true upset/scread cries so i'm wondering whether me being there till shes asleep then leaving isnt a great idea. I leave and she doesnt kno i've gone I think that in upsettign her.....
Where do I go from here guy?
N.B:
We are taking baby steps and atm objective is fall asleep in cot (not rocking chair) once we have that I suspect we'll have a few other props (altho did no back rub today) but then I plan to remove those in the same way...gradually. BUT I wonder whether my presence is hindering her and i'd best do a modofied wi/wo???
WHAt do u all think?

[yaya]

Hello, thought I'd update before asking a few Qs.
After the migraine I issue I thought I'd throw myself inot it again so lsat night for bedtime I BFd, laid her down in her cot, she stood up and played, I ignored her, then she cried I laid her down and this repeated for about 1 hr untill she went to sleep but did wake screaming a few times before I went to bed at 10. She then slept till 1.30 where I went over told her shhh go to sleep, she got up, I laid down etc, till she wasnt getting up just rolling and fussing and I just kept reapting sshhh go to sleep and after 3 YES 3 hr she went to sleep. I do feel its a glorious achievement as I never thought she'd do it and honestly I didnt think I'd stick it out for so long but on the other hand I am REALLy worried now as I DONT want to be doing this every night!!
After that she slept a tiny bit woke againa nd was really fussy so I pu, took her into my bed where she conitnued to fuss whilst half sleeping till 7.
For us, a prettty good night but honestly I think if it's going to take ages, I am not going to do the sleep training at all, I am just so tired from almost a yr of no sleep I CANNOT be laying over the bar of her bed sleep upright for 3 hrs at night.......
not sure whether to think we are onto something good or whether I am in for days/weeks of this and honestly if that's the case, I can't do it.

[yaya]

I could never hate you Stacy hun, BECAUSE you are so honest LOL
Maybe I didnt explain myself properly; I do leave her to fuss but after a while she goes crazy crying (she is very very highly strung!) and I a) DO NO want T woken up again and b) have real anger and irritability issues since being so sleep deprived so its better all around that she doesnt scream. She can cry sure, but I show her she needs to lay down and then move away....def NOT a game, she isnt impressed I tell! After the neuro visit when he suggested emily was rather over active for a (then) 6 month old I soon realised that hinders her ability to self soothe. Thomas also keeps on going till he passes out but he is happy to do this even for hrs hence I am happy too. With EMily, No one is happy if she is crying and she doesnt fire up to cry she just squeals bloody murder from nought.....its hideous!
As for different room, not really an option as there is no room for a mattress in 'her' room and when up a zillion times at night I cannot walk down the corridor constantly....altho I DO agree with you, I think she'd be better off in her own room and I would be too as I'd hear her for muffled so it would stress me out less. I really have a lot of probs with the screaming (not so much when T was little) and I think it is realted back to her first months where all she did day in day out was cry and now it seems to strike off something in me when is not pretty....IFKWIM?


Here's my idea in my approach ( I would LOVE your insight Stacy as you have gotten to kno wme well)

I want her to firstly learn that going to sleep happens in bed (hence today she fell asleep at boob which she never does- I resisted the temp and woke her up to put her in bed and she settled herself well) and that she will not get picked up so I am doing all soothing in cot.
Secondly I want her to learn to self soothe; so play with lovie, roll around whatever
Lastly I want her to learn she can do this without me in the room.
This is my plan for minimum crying as that is my biggest issue.

I realise this will take ages and I am ok with that... I just want SOME progress...not the goal end immediately but something to show me its working eg a good nap, a longer night stretch.
Also to keep in mind, she has been like this since birth when she was going to sleep completely indep (with paci) untill around 6 mos and her sleep has never changed once the AP started....not more nor less wakings and she has randomly STTN so again I know I dont feel 100% certain in the training coz the 'something's not right' thing is still niggling me, WWIM?

right, sorry for writing as essay.
Today both naps were pooo at 45 mins and was in bed at 7 its 8.10 and she woke once screaming and then went back to sleep (OT I tink)

[yaya]

ROTFL Stacy you DO sound confused...horray I have confused you!!!!
I think she is fine but I still think there are some digestive issues (we are awaying intollerance tests) as we have had night (not for a few nights now actually) where she wakes screaming and tensing up and clearly in pain and then I took out dairy from her diet and she STTN 2 nights in a row,,,,
All the stuff she has been through has made her HUGELY dependent on me, in all respects and my attitude has reinforced that. Thomas was not in our room at 9 month, I carried her everywhere till she learnt to crawl, she hates strangers and has suffered permenant SA for the last 5 months. SO because of her character/nature I prefer her to be able to see me when she looks up, in all honesty if we got indep sleep except for me being in the room when she went to sleep thats a HUGE improvement. And at the end of the day she will be in our room till we are down to 2 or 3 wakings at night max so I WILL always be there when she looks up, so guess I dont have a prob with that. When we have improvement and she sleeps indep I will feel more confident leaving her to her own devices (so to spk)
The main reason I am doing this is coz if we have improvement the her sleep issues were AP related, if we dont, then we have medical issues to get to the bottom of...follow me?



You are 100% right on the paci thing tho, she makes NO effort to find it and its coz I rush to her, THAT I DO need to work on spo please please badger me on my every post.....she has NEVER found replugged and gone back to sleep.......

[kerry,(kaceys mum)]

hey hun,, hope you dont mind but,,,

dont you think that your giving your lo mixed signals? you took an hour to get her to sleep alone,, which was fab hun and i think you and baby done well,, then you never gave in,, took 3 hours to put her back to sleep,,more than i could have handled anyway,, but you did stick with it,, but then the next time dd woke you took he to bed with you!,,, so,,will you not have wasted 4 hours by doing so,, because,, you taught her to sleep alone,, but then took her out again,, therfor unteaching her.

i know this is easy for me to say hun,, ive not been living this,, im not the one who has had no sleep like you and im sorry if i sound negative as i dont wish to. you asked if one hour was good,, i think it was great,, a well done job.

i know that you feel that gradually removal will do best but have you thought of doing pu/pd,, or wi.wo,, or the method you are using just now,, sitting with her till she falls over(and doing a fab job at) for 5 days  or so,, to see if it works? if it doesnt hun,, go back to gw,, you have nothing to loose,, but do it all at once,, i mean the way it says in the book,, rather than gw.

sshh your dd in the night may actually be what has kept her up longer,, it may be whats stimulating her and keeping her up,, i do know that if i do this with kacey,, she thinks its morning time,, time to get up as she sees me as instagating a convercation when i do sshh,, thats why i have to be there in the room,, or hand on her back,, or wi/wo without saying a word!

i know you keep saying about props,,, but i dont see any really (because you are doing sleep training),, apart from the paci,,, i know you dont want to remove this prop hun,, but its kinda a huge probem and will continue to be one,, not because its a paci,, because youyr dd wakes for it to be put back in,,  and you cant teach her to re plug iut herself,, she will learn that herself,, and some kids dont,, so the paci is not doing teh job that its intended to do. you could do sleep training,, 2 weeks of long hard work,, then have to do all over again when you remove the paci,, kinda giving yourself double work here. can you not ditch the paci when your doing the sleep traing?

i would just like to add that i think,, as you already know,, that you are one of the most fab mothers on here,, with the pacience of a saint hun,, i dont want you to think that im critisisng you in any way,, love kerry

[*Nicola*]

Michelle I have just seen this.

Just wanted to offer you tonnes of (((Hugs))) and love.  Always around if you need a chat/vent xxx

[*Vicki*]

me too hun }}}}}{{{{{{ 

Greta advice from Kerry and Stacy too......just wish we was all near to help you   

    

[yaya]

Thanks everyone. I think I was just having a bad day, I know it will take time and this is afterall how I am chosing to do it as it isnt possible any other way. I can't have loads of screaming and I just think this way works better for me (my sanity, not so much the methos LOL) I DO think it's effective for babies who have previously been very dependent on AP as the first step, which is where I am at, is making the sleep in bed association. What IS a bit strange is that E seems to be wanting (needing) WI/WO. The n9ight after last she only woke once HURRAH! Last night the sleep training took about an hr but I suspect by 8.30 she was totally OT and yellping poor thing, Anyway I layed her down and stepped away to other side of room, she called me a lot I ignored her, when she cried I went to her and layed back down (at one point she was trying to lay down on the bar of the beed whilst standing up, bless her) after a while she must have realised that if she cried she got layed down so she started layng herself down. I left he rto it as she fussed about in her cot but had to leave the room to put T to bed (it was past 8!!) she obviously went ,mad when I left when I came back she layed down and almost went to sleep. After 5 mins cried (mantra cry?) and started the fussign again. Had to dash out again  as T was calling out and when I went back in same thing but this time stayed asleep till about 1.30 am when she couldn't find a paci, I replugged, straight back to sleep till 6am when she fed and went back to sleep till 7.
SO still lots of AP but I am getting at my objective which is I will not pick her up and this means she at least tried to go back to sleep on her own. I help out if she's having a hard time but baby steps are on the way!!
If we are so blessed as to have this continue, I will just go for wi/wo i think as my presence is DEF keeping her away and seeing as i'm not picking up there's not much else I can do.

WHat ddo you all think??

[*Nicola*]

Michelle YAY!!!!!!!!

Just read your update and that is FAB!!! You are doing a fantastic job and Emily seems to be doing really well.  You'll get there my friend. 

**Cheering you on** xxx

[kerry,(kaceys mum)]

fab job hun

[Maffoos mummy]

Just read through all the posts and you're doing great!!! I've said to you before and I'll say it again-I really don't know how you've survived such bad prolonged sleep deprivation,I can't even imagine how physically and emotionally drained you are. You're doing so well hun,keep it up!! I really think the worst is over for you now.xxx

[Colin Macs Mom]

You're doing great Michelle, keep it up!

[*Vicki*]

well done hun!! Keep it up   

[jennyh]

keep going,your doing great!

[yaya]

thanx guys. we had another 2 nights of 1 or 2 wakings then last night i rocked her 2 sleep (we r on hol and we were super late going out 2 dinner) well she slept well till 1ish then woke A LOT! not sure whether it was that or the too much wine i had had and the bf! x