I can no longer cope with this situation.

[MathildasMum]

I have reached the point that I am utterly miserable about my daughters none napping

our entire day is dominated by a) trying to get her to sleep b) trying to get her to stay asleep c) dealing with the overtiredness when none of the above work

I have two other children who are now suffering as a result of this, my health, looks and mental health is now suffering, my relationship is suffering, my happiness and confidence is suffering and my house is a tip.

Im scared Im depressed but suspect its just acute stress as a result of the crying and exhaustion.

What do I do? I feel like checking us in somewhere.

I want to throw myself at the feet of someone but dont know anybody that could try or think of anything I havent already done.

The only thing I havent done is PUPD as Im sure Im not strong enough at the moment

PLEASE HELP ME

I have another thread on E.A.S.Y about our general problems but it ALL hinges on naps.

Im sorry I sound pathetic, but im desperate, some days im ok but right now, 4 month old DD, 4 year old DS, 8 yr old DD and 27 yr old me are ALL crying

[binxyboo]

Huge huge hugs to you.

I have an almost 4 month old and also a son who turns 3 at the end of July.

I haven't read your other thread, could you give us a quick summary of what a day usually looks like (hard I know to write it down, if you are having sleep issues). Maybe a summary of basic time you start your day, how far apart her feeds basically are, and the times you typically try to lay her down for sleep.

Hang in there xx

[MathildasMum]

thanks for your support, i will come back soon and answer your questions

i need to go and calm down - i actually feel like i could be sick im so stressed

[binxyboo]

Another huge hug to you.

I am getting ready to go out now, but will also try to go look at your other threads later to see what your little dd is up to.

Would she even sleep in the sling/baby carrier if you took her out for some fresh air?

[trypsmommy]

Mathilda's mom- I'm in the EXACT same boat (minus having other kids) but I know how you feel. Everything in my life is suffering because of the NO sleeping that occurs in my 4 month old son. How are your nights, if your days are like mine then your nights are awful too.... I feel for you.

[musicgal03]

HUGS, HUGS...I am feeling for you...
I wanted to say that when it gets to this point there really needs to be some stepping back and looking at the situation. I have gone through a nightmare the last week or so with the whole nap situation.I finally calmed down and am trying to look at this with perspective. I am SURE we are not supposed to ruin our life over getting baby to nap. This was when I looked around and saw all these happy moms on no routine. Baby slept when baby slept. No trying to get them to. I am not saying this is the way to go but when it gets to the point where you are, one needs a break.

Is your baby screaming and crying throughout the day from being tired?

Mine woke up at 5.30 this morning and didn't take a nap until 10.40. He was happy the whole time. I tried to get him down on our routine time but with no luck. Finally he decided to go to sleep at 10.40. He slept for 1 1/2 hours. I am doing this. I am trying to get him down for an AM nap and a PM nap. That is IT for now. I will try at the set time but I won't kill myself over it.  He is apperantly going through a stage. I am sure this too shall pass. I have cried everyday out of frustration also. I am done with that. Having a baby is supposed to be enjoyable right? At least most of the time.

Post your routine though so we can take a look. We are all here for you.

Annie

[BensMamma]

More BIG hugs from me too.
I'm also feeling your pain.  My DS won't nap for more than 35-45 min.  Shh.../Pat worked for 2 days last week, but now he just fights harder and screams louder.  He's terribly OT, but he doesn't wnat to stay asleep.  He also woke up at 5:30 a.m. and screamed when I tried to calm him.  He just woke up from a nap (40 min) and went down really easily after me wearing him in a front carrier and riding in the car.  Of course, I can't drive him around before every nap, but the front carrier seems to help us a bit.  Perhaps it might help you as well.  I truly hope things get better for you (TrypsMommy and me too) soon.

[texasmom]

Rebecca,
I am so sorry, sweetie.  It is so so hard.  I wanted to share this with you.  When I had DS, I got to the point you're at right now, and I started taking medication.  It helped tremendously.  It helped me to relax about things and to enjoy life a little bit more.  I know this has probably been brought on by circumstances, rather than a chemical thing, but the medication might be able to get you through, and then you can stop taking it when you're doing better. 

What happens when you just back off and don't try so hard?  Does all *!@* break loose?

Big big HUGS,
Brooke

[sunnysmile]

I'm going thru the same with you guys... one half of me is saying 'Nonone ever died thru not taking a nap...but then the other half is screaming in frustration cos it's so hard having no life and an unhappy baby/family....what happened to the 'Y' in EASY?  Hugs to you all ....Tomorrow is another day and I'm going to try again but not be too hard on myself...we'll get there...Right?!!

[ryancsmom]

Big HUGGGGGGS to you!

I was already stressed out with ONE, i can't imagine having two other LO's that need you just as much!  Just tell yourself that things will get better and it will!  Soon you will look back and wonder why all the stress. 

Hang in there! We're here for you.

[Lucysmom]

Oh sweetie I am so sorry that things are really rough right now.  I have been where you are now, just minus the additional children.  I would definitely advise taking a look at the PPD board (post partum depression) which is under health and medical.  There is a sticky there for the Edinburgh test and it is a questionnaire that helps you evaluate how you're feeling and if you might have PPD.  You are right in saying that it just might be the stress of dealing with no naps and overtiredness, but I think the important thing to look at is how you have reacted to this stress.  So please do take a look at the PPD board and take the Edinburgh test.  I pretty much could have written your post when my dd was 3 months old and I did have PPD.  I was able to deal with the stresses of an erratic/non-napping infant much better once I was properly diagnosed and treated. 

And for what it's worth, I tried everything under the sun to get her to nap longer or at all. The only thing that worked was time.  Her napping issues were developmental and then once she got through the developmental "stuff", she napped.  Things improved dramatically when she was 5 months old.  I kick myself now as I really didn't enjoy her during her first few months of life as I was just wanting her to nap!!! 

Huge hugs and lots of support.  Feel free to PM me if you would rather communicate that way.  Please know you are not alone.

[fearn]

More hugs and thoughts going out to you.  I spent the first 3 months of my little guy's life trying to get him to nap.  I swear there are grooves in the floor by his crib where I have stood for millions of hours trying to get him to sleep.  I still have a new challenge every few days, as soon as something works, he changes again.  I was feeling exactly as you are and really wasn't coping.   Absolutely wretching crying, unable to make a decision, losing my patience with my daughter and feeling like nobody could help me because I was the only one who could get my lo to sleep.  I had a few days of crisis and realized I had PPD.  It is an awful feeling - all the anxiety, unable to cope.  If you find you are having these symptoms, perhaps going on medication can help.  I did and although it took a little while I can cope pretty good with day to day things.  It will help you be less anxious about everything, but you will still be a good mom, actually you will be a better mommy as you will have what it takes to look after everyone who needs looking after.  Big Hugs, it will get better....
Karen

[Lucysmom]

Just wondering how you are today. Thinking of you.  Please don't hesitate to pm me.  You are a great mom who wants their child to be well-rested and happy and that is an honorable thing.  Just sometimes it gets overly stressful then it is important for mommy to take care of herself first.  Any sleep habits/props can be fixed later, you need to make yourself a high priority right now.  Huge hugs sweetie.

[MathildasMum]

thankyou everyone for your messages, your all very lovely people.

i have been quiet on babywhisperer the last few days whlst  tried to take stock - its not a question of just not spending so much time and energy on nap training as dd wont respond to any AP methods, so she still wakes up thirty minutes on the dot, still tired if we are driving, walking, cuddling etc this  is why i got so low because NOTHING i did worked

some of your posts have worried me about ppd - do you think it could be?

i feel fine unless locked into the nap thing and listening to her cry, i cant bear hearing her cry.

i have actually had some amazing success today, for teh first time EVER have extended a nap - it starting at 2.20pm she woke up bang on 2.50pm and i got her back off. its now 3.20pm and she is still asleep - this is a FIRST and has given me some hope to continue.

ive been looking at some old posts and i found one from when she was 4 weeks, complaining about the same things - for 12 weeks now ive been obsessing and i really want to stop despairing and start enjoying this precious time but feels like i cant whilst she is so permanently overtired.

anyway, thanks again your messages are really helping

just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other

[texasmom]

Rebecca,
Not to be worried.  Only you know if you have PPD.  I know what you mean.  I feel fine too except when locked in a dark room all day or up all night (sleep deprivation makes me crazy).  You just sound down.  But of course... 

I'm so glad to hear that you have had some success today!  I've just accepted the developmental thing - probably your situation too.  So maybe she is started to progress.   

And yes, I've been at this since DD was 3 weeks, maybe even younger, so you know that I TOTALLY understand. 

Just want you to know that you have support here.

BIG HUGS,
Brooke