Almost three year old suddenly waking MUCH earlier

[luckylot]

Hi everyone, I used to post here when our DS was much younger and we were going through sleep training.  He did great, learned to sooth himself and our only issues since then had been some occasional night waking.  He has a vivid imagination and sometimes wakes crying out of fear (shadows, etc), but always goes right back to sleep when we go to him.  We don't need to stay with him or do anything other than remind him that we are there.  So lately, probably linked to the earlier rising sun and the time change, he has been waking exceptionally early (well in my opinion anyway).  He used to wake around 8-8:30, which would provide him with at least 12 hours of sleep.  Now, he is waking between 6-6:30 EVERY morning, without fail.  Yesterday he was so OT that I had to force a nap, but see this is where the problems begin...he hasn't napped in well over 4 months, because even a 45 minute nap causes him to stay awake in his room at night until 9:30-10:30pm!  Then, he wakes again the next morning at the same early time, resulting in ridiculously crazy mood swings, since he is getting much less sleep.  When we put him to bed earlier, he just stays awake longer in his room, it's like his body just cannot reset itself.     I am at a complete loss, I am 7 months pregnant, tired and dreading how this is all going to play out when we have a newborn nursing around the clock.  I suppose we could start trying to put him down at 6pm, but then DH won't have much time with him at night...   Is it possible that we can start shifting his bedtime after having at least 3-4 days of going down earlier (IF he will actually sleep) and then start pushing bedtime later again, a little at a time?  I thought these sleep training days were over, UGH!

Jessica

[Layla]

Hi Jessica, I would do the earlier bedtime and once he's caught up on some sleep you can look at shifting bedtime back to 8-8.340pm to get a later wake up time. Also you might want to try w2s for the early start... if he's waking on the dot at the same time every morning then it might just be habitual and w2s could help.

With my 3yo I have a nightlight set on a timer and I set it to 6:20am so even if she wakes really early, she knows not to get out of her bed until the nightlight comes on. Its similar to one of those bunny clocks...

Is the room dark in the morning? With the daylight savings and the light coming into the room, that might be what's waking him up... so try darker shades, etc...

Still I would do an earlier bedtime for a few days to let him catch up on some sleep.

Good luck & let me know how you go
Layla

[luckylot]

Thanks Layla,
That is what we started last night, he was asleep by 6:30pm and was SO ready for it!!  Today he woke at 6:30 which means he got his full 12 hours, but he was still tired and actually fell asleep in the car which he never does!  It is a rainy dreary day though too. I didn't let him stay asleep, I want to make sure he is good and tired at 6pm, lol.  How many days do you think we should put him to bed early before trying to slowly shift his bedtime back again?  I know that the Baby Whisperer book said that anything done in 3's becomes a habit, but with something like this, where his sleep has been sacrificed for a while, should I do it longer?  I really hope the w2s aren't necessary, because if I wake up at 5am to do it, I won't go back to sleep myself, it's awful, I am a bad sleeper too.  If I wake anytime in the early AM I am up for good, especially, if I have to get vertical, lol, it stinks!  I could ask DH to do it if we need to use this method though.  Maybe if I shift the bedtime by only 15 minute intervals for three days at a time, it would help.  The only problem is that we will be on vacation in a few days so I know things will get all botched, I will try to keep him on schedule though!  Sometimes he actually sleeps longer when we are away from home, so we will see.

His room is VERY dark, he has dark brown curtains that are closed with no sun even peeking through and his room is painted blue, even the ceiling, so it's pretty conducive to sleep, lol.  I think as soon as his eyes open, the first thing on his mind is coming to see mommy and daddy.  We tried putting the gate up at his door, but he usually needs to go potty when he wakes so we are doomed if we do and doomed if we don't, lol.  He just needs to start waking a bit later.

Jessica

[Layla]

Jessica, glad to hear he slept well at night... must have needed it! I would stick to 6.30pm bedtime for about 3-4 days and then you could try adding 15mins or so to his bedtime every couple of days. Hopefully he'll start waking later .

[luckylot]

Well....I put him to bed at 6pm, it's now 7pm and he is still going strong up there, singing, talking, reading, playing.  Doesn't sound like he is even close to sleepy-time    If he can fall asleep within the next 30 min, he would still get 11 hours of sleep which seems to be enough for him, so HTH!! 

Jessica

[luckylot]

He didn't fall asleep last night until 7:45    then woke by 6:30 this morning, but at least he got close to 11 hours of sleep and he is in a good mood.  There is a cycle that keeps repeating itself though and that is that he gets one or two well rested days, then starts pushing his sleep time out more and more each day, because he is rested enough to stay up later, but doesn't shift his wake time.  That is exactly how we ended up at 9 hours of sleep rather than 11 or 12, he slowly pushes it over time.   

So is this when the w2s works or is there something else we should be doing to ensure he goes to sleep early enough to get the hours he needs?  I am at a loss with this cycle...

Jessica

[Layla]

Jessica, I sort of know what you mean about the cycle... my dd does something similar where she will sleep 11-11.5hrs at night (last night was 12hrs actually) and then the other day she woke at 5am (falling asleep the night before at 6.30pm). With her it might have something to do with the molars... not a single one out yet so thats all I can put it down to

I try to get some exercise into her in the afternoon to ensure she's tired enough by bedtime. The rest is up to her. I put her down for the night b/n 6.15 and 6.30pm. She will either fall asleep within 5mins or she might stay up and read some books and then go to sleep.

W2s is usually done for habitual wakings. So not sure if that would work too well for you...