How much interaction does my 2 month old need?

[KittysMum]

Hi all. This might be a bit of an odd question, but can you let me know how much my lo needs interaction with me during her activity times?

I'm an over-anxious first timer, and suspect I might be overdoing it a bit!

The times I have left her to her devices, I've noticed she's actually quite happy playing on her own under her gym or lying happily on hubbie's lap while he works on his computer. I did tell him at one point that he should talk to her more to stimulate her more, but now I'm wondering if it's actually me that needs to calm things down a bit more!

I'm still getting used to having her around really, so even when she's sitting happily in her bouncy chair looking around the room, I feel that I ought to be talking or singing to her or playing games.

Can anyone give me an idea of where the balance is between giving a good amount of stimulation and being over attentive?

Thanks in advance for all your advice - these boards are such a lifeline!

[sophiems]

I'll respond as my 2 month old sits on my lap! 

Here's what I do, but keep in mind I have 2 older children that also need my attention!  I really keep the activity low key esp. if Caeden hasn't gotten a good nap the cycle before (occasionally he does spurts of 45 min naps).  But if he's gotten good rest, he plays under the toy bar and for about 75% of that time he usually has a big brother under there with him  or doting over him right in his face (we're working on that...).  We often talk to him, his brothers are always trying to get him to smile at them or coo.  We often have music playing (big brothers are into the beach boys lately) but if they don't have something on, I'll put some Mozart or something.  Sometimes I'm carrying him from room to room as I clean, or he's laying on somebody's bed while we're cleaning bedrooms. 
I just try to keep in mind what type of activity he had when doing wind down.  So if it wasn't so low-key, I make sure to build in some extra wind down time if the older 2 permit. 

I think you just have to get to know your child and figure out what she likes.  I think for the most part she'll let you know if her A time was too stimulating, by having a hard time settling.  I don't think talking to her is too stimulating and it certainly helps you all to bond. 

I'm sure you and DP are doing great, just relax and enjoy these early months getting to know each other!

[KittysMum]

That's really helpful - thank you! Reassuring too, as I carry Kitty from room to room when I'm cleaning too - pop her on the bed; she seems quite happy.

Sounds like your lo gets a fair bit of attention from his brothers - that must be great for his development.

I hadn't thought that Kitty's ability to settle might be influenced by the amount of activity in her A phase. Her settling times really do vary; sometimes she settles beautifully with only 10 minutes of very gentle sobs and other times it's nearer 30 minutes.

Do you think that lots of activity tends to lead to a less easy settle? I'd have thought loads of faces to look at and attention would lead to a tired and easier to settle baby, but perhaps it would just lead to over-tiredness.

Come to think of it, when I've had a manic people-filled day, it takes me ages to get to sleep as I tend to go over everything that's happened; perhaps she's the same. I'll have to look out for any patterns there.

[VeronikaMW]

Hi there,

I know how you feel, my lo is also 2 months and not sure how much/ how long A time he wants needs.. (I would love loads of course, but he can't cope with that yet :-)
I have noticed though that he is really difficult to settle if he's been too long on the baby gym or we had loads of people around etc, so now I really try and watch him for cues of OT and OS and either do something less stimulating (the carrying around rooms when cleaning/ lying on beds seems to be a popular one!!) or put him straight to bed... seems to work although he still is always really cranky in the evenings...

[sophiems]

Do you think that lots of activity tends to lead to a less easy settle? I'd have thought loads of faces to look at and attention would lead to a tired and easier to settle baby, but perhaps it would just lead to over-tiredness.

I think it really depends on your lo's temperament.  An angel baby might not be affected either way, whereas a touchy or grumpy type might be.  You probably just have to really watch and observe patterns, keeping in mind that depending on how well rested she is and other milestones and stuff also affect settling abilities. 

This parenting adventure is just a lot of detective work, for sure. 

[KittysMum]

Thanks guys.

I hate to say it, but both hubbie and I did the baby type test and decided that she's half angel, half textbook - I know - how lucky are we? I can only say, she gets her laid-back temperament from my husband, not me - I'm as highly strung as they come!

I wonder if when she's older, this lovely easy going nature will drive me mad when she takes an age to get anything done (like her dad...)

So perhaps she'll be less affected than other types by too much stimulation?

[VeronikaMW]

i think mine is definetly a touchy/ spirited baby, he takes ages to settle sometimes! I really have to watch him that I don't let him get OT/OS during A time. So make the most of your Angel baby :-) She's probably not bothered by too much stimulation but I suppose you'll just have to try it out to find out (as we did, by accident, granny played for ages with him on the baby gym, and oh did we pay for it :-) 2 hours to settle!!

Lots of hugs and all the best to you, it really is detective work, and such a steep learning curve! But all worth it...

[KittysMum]

I'm so grateful to the BW books - I don't mind a bit of detective work, when at least I've now got some idea of what's going on!

The first few weeks of randomness were just scary. I thought ' I can't cope with life like this!' Not knowing what was wrong when she cried, when she'd need the next feed... I didn't cope very well with the midwives suggestions of going with the flow.

Yesterday at church was a great example of how much more with it I'm feeling. Kitty had been fed during the service, charmed everyone during coffee afterwards, then while being held by one of the old ladies, she started turning her head into the lady's neck, squirming and grumbling. The lady said 'I know what you want and you won't find any milk there!' It was great to be able to say, 'No, she's tired, it's time for her nap'. I popped her in her buggy and 5 minutes later...

Makes me feel like I might be starting to have a bit of an idea what I'm doing...

[sophiems]

wonderful feeling to have that confidence, isn't it! 

[KittysMum]

It really is! I'll admit, I spent the first few weeks asking for advice and assuming that everyone knew better than me what was best for Kitty, but I think my confidence has grown to the point that I realise I know best now. 

[emz1907]

I was the same, and still can be actually. Its taken me a long time to trust my own judgement, in the beginning I was desperate for someone to lead me by the hand and show me what to do. I mourned when my wondeful midwife left us! LOL

As for the A times, I leave my lo quite often to play on his own. He loves it and starts babbling to his toys which is so cute. I find stimulating A time at the beginning and low key towards the end works well. I used to feel guilty if Callum was on his own for any length of time, like he needed someone there to talk to him but he is more than happy to play on his gym mat on his own. Infact he gets more touchy if we interfere sometimes!