Working moms/mums - come share tips and get support too! #2

[clh]

Welcome, Nicole!  It IS a juggling act, but you're doing a great job for Ava! 

[~*Nicole*~]

Thanks!

[Elizabeth's Mummy]

Hi
I went back to work at the end of March and although I am managing to pump once at work and feed  my 9 month old myself twice, things still haven't gone quite to plan!  My LO refuses the milk when she's with the childminder.  I have tried giving her a bottle and a cup (both of which she is able to drink from) she just chooses not to.  She shakes her head and doesn't want to know.  On days I am not working I feed her myself in the afternoons but when I am at work she turns it down.  At the moment it feels such a waste of time and milk to carry on pumping and trying it on her but I don't know what to do for the best.  Should i just give in and not bother pumping or would this seriously reduce my milk supply at other times when I need it? 

Any thoughts?
Many thanks

[clh]

{{hugs}}  It's an awful feeling to watch that un-drunk milk go down the drain.    How many times are you stimulating your breasts per day (feeds + pumps)?  If she's still taking it when she's with you, I'd be hesitant to drop it, but she/you may be ready for that.  Kind of depends on the how many times/day question...

[lidiayy]

Hi All,

Welcome Nicole! This thread is very useful indeed. When I look back I remember myself with so many doubts! And yes, it IS possible to BF even working full time, I can assure that!

Elizabeth's mummy - your baby is cute! I can imagine how awful is to pump and see all the effort going down the drain. When you say that your LO is able to drink from the bottle, who gave it to her? Have you tried to offer the bottle with your milk? I've read somewhere that babies sometimes refuse to drink from the bottle because they prefer to have it from mummy. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, honey! Good luck.

Candice - wow! 26 weeks have gone! Is your baby another boy or girl? Hope you are all ok.

See you

Lidia

[~*Nicole*~]

I am sad, actually that my BFing did not continue well when I went to work. For a variety of reasons, not knowing what I know now, DD having preference for the fast flow and instant gratification of the bottle and then fighting me during feedings, etc. But if I could do it again, I think I would have tried to stick it out longer. I regret giving it up so young.

[clh]

{{hugs}} Nicole.  I'm sorry I don't understand...  Are you mixed feeding?  Is there anything in particular we can help with?

Thanks, Lidia!    29 wk today, this time with a little girl.    We weren't trying for one, but God decided to give us one anyway.  We're very excited to meet her at the end of July. 

[~*Nicole*~]

Oh.......No, at this point I have been solely formula feeding since about 4 months. A few contributing factors to my stopping the BFing. One was, I didn't realize how much I should have pumped at the beginning in order to build up a suppy for when I returned to work. Two, I had trouble consistently pumping midday at work (a coworker does really well and does 2 midday sessions, but she came back after me and I never got into a good routine with it). Lastly, after drinking breastmilk from a bottle during the day at my mom's, DD stopped wanting to nurse. First it turned into a preference for one side. Then it turned into a preference for ONLY wanting to nurse lying down, then it turned into not wanting to nurse at all. She grew very impatient I guess and as soon as I would try to sit down and nurse she would arch her back and scream and push away and carry on, but would take breastmilk from a bottle. My suppy dwindled and I didn't have enough to keep sending to my mom's during the day and I essentially gave up with her fighting against it so hard. We switched to formula which she has done really well with, but for future children, I think I would try harder to stick with it even after returning to work.

I was just saying.....makes me sad to think I might have been able to work out a combination of the two if I had kept at it, but it was frustrating to see her so upset every time I tried to nurse, it wasn't a nice bonding time anymore for us.

[clh]

Sorry I didn't understand.  And I apologize if I was insensitive.    I'm glad you found this thread for next time around.    {{hugs}}

[Elizabeth's Mummy]

I feed in the morning after breakfast, pump or bf in the afternoon and then feed just before bed at 7.  If I am home then I bf in the afternoon and if i am at work then i give the childminder milk to give her.  Usually my milk but formular hasn't been any more or less successful.  Firstly we tried the bottle which she has been really against from the word go.  Eventually she would (very occasionally) drink from one but never very successfully (tried all the tricks!) eventually on advice from the health visitor we gave up on the bottle as she's now 9 months old and concentrated on a cup.  She drinks water (and even weak decafenated tea) very well out of it but is not interested in drinking milk in any way other than bf'ding.  To top things off she's now suddenly (about 2 months ago) developed reflux and is sick on her night feed 7 out of 10 days.  I don't know if i should keep up pumping at work to keep my milk supply up even if she wont drink the results.  I guess i could always help out the local milk bank though i would rather Elizabeth would drink it!  I was planning on stopping bf when she is 1 (2 and a half months) so don't know if that changes things at all.  I miss her such a lot at work I love being able to come home and bf her. It's going to be strange when we don't do that anymore

[lidiayy]

Nicole - My apologies, I think I misunderstood your post, just as it happened to Candice.    Don't push too much on you because there will always be different ways to deal with the same situation. It's part of the learning of parenting and if BFing wasn't meaning a bonding time for you both, there was no sense continuing to force her. Hugs!

Elizabeth's Mummy - DD dropped from 4 to 3 "bottles" a day when she turned 8 1/2 mo. At that moment, I was pumping twice a day (midday and dreampump) and when she dropped 11am bottle, I just stopped pumping and also quit BFing her at that time on weekends. I got engorged for a couple of days but soon after my body adjusted the amount  of milk to 2 BF'ing sessions (7 am and 8 pm). I've been following this "routine" since then. I don't know how long my supply will last, though.

HTH

Lidia

[clh]

Elizabeth's Mummy, if I'm reading you right, you're at 3 feeds/day?  I probably wouldn't decrease just yet.  You can always use your pumped milk in her cereal or to thin out table foods, if she won't take it in a bottle.

[~*Nicole*~]

Do you ladies find that it is difficult arranging/changing nap times with the nursery/daycare/grandparent or wherever your los are during the day? My mom watches DD everyday and I have such a hard time with routine b/c my mom does things differently than I do and as DD gets older and things need to be adjusted my mom doesn't understand the BW way....she's read some of the threads/book, but just doesn't "get it". I guess it's a generational thing.

[lidiayy]

Hi Nicole,

What I could figure out by DD's behaviour is that once I've  stabilished a routine at each place, she'll follow. I find it very hard to follow Daycare routine on  weekends as we tend to have breakfast later, lunchtime is later and so forth. Even though the time when each activity (eating, playing, napping) changes a little, I try to be consistent so that saturday and sunday times and sequence of events are quite the same for both days.
My suggestion is to ask your mother to stabilish a routine that fits to her dynamic but try to be consistent and repeat each thing everyday so that Ava can get used to it.
Due to a bad conjunctivitis DD had, she had to stay with MIL for 10 days without going to daycare centre. MIL understood that routine makes things easier, though. Try to explain to your mother that when she follows a routine, baby will get used to it and kind of expect the next event to come. Napping is the best example of that.
HTH and I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Lidia

[clh]

I 2nd that.  The boys know that home routine is different than daycare routine, just like they know you are different than their carers.  I like Lidia's suggestion here:

My suggestion is to ask your mother to stabilish a routine that fits to her dynamic but try to be consistent and repeat each thing everyday so that Ava can get used to it.

Let us know how it goes.