Introducing Dream Feed at 14 weeks... how to?

[laveva]

one night i put my LO down to bed at 8pm and she never woke up for the 11pm feed (kept going till past midnight) so i never actually felt like i needed a DF. now at 14 weeks she sleeps from 8.30/9pm right through till 3-4am which is fantastic but i was thinking that if i feed her at 11pm, she might do the 7-8 hour stretch until morning.

so question is: while she continues to wake up at 3am the first few nights until she gets used to this new system, should i try give her water (which by the way she doesn't take!) or just try and get her back to sleep?

question 2: is it ok to rock back to sleep or something similar so as to avoid her waking and crying hard in the night? (the last two nights we've been awake 60-90 minutes trying to get her back to sleep without feeding).

thank you!

[KittysMum]

Hi Laveva, I'm new to BW, so can't offer any advice, but I do have the exact same question, so glad you asked it. 

Kitty (9 weeks) sleeps from 7.30pm to 7.15am, and wakes for feeds at about 1am and then at 4am. I wondered if I started dreamfeeding whether she would shift her longer stretch of sleep to the second part of the night.

I do worry that I'll wake her up by disturbing her though. Also, I go to bed at 9pm myself, so I would need to wake myself up to dreamfeed. Perhaps if it isn't broken, don't fix it? 

I must admit, I'm quite happy at the moment, though I do hope she'll drop the night feeds eventually.

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Hi Laveva, All 3 of my lo have also slept thought with out df. But with DS3 i introduced df at 20 weeks for weight gain issues (which are now resolved).

Im not sure that it is necessary the right thing to do by just stopping the nwing and try to calm for an 1 to 1.5 hrs , seems a long time!!! It could be a good thing to introduce the df but if she wakes in the night i would feed, if she doesn't then its a bonus At 14 weeks it is not unusual for at least 1 nwing.

Tracy never rocks to sleep, you use the shh/pat, but not for 1.5hrs. Use your motherly instincs, if shes hungry then feed

Laveva - Again your having 2 nwing's anyway so it wouldn't hurt to introduce the df she may still wake at the other two times for a couple of nights but give it at least 3 night to see if she still wakes after that. You may find that you sill have the 4ish wake but at 9 weeks thats normal. Do you swaddle lo? its a good way of keeping them to sleep. If she does wake a little just feed burp and put back in cot, try not to have any contact as this could wake them fully.

Kate x

[laveva]

kittysmum, my dd naturally started to wean herself off 2 nighttime wakings at about 8 weeks and it's only been in the last week that she has moved the first one from 2 to 3 and now nearly 4. she then wakes at 7am to start the day.

mumof3 - it's funny you should say use your motherly instincts because i think since i've started trying to do EASY and independent sleeping i've pretty much tuned out my natural instincts in favour of trying to do "the right thing" (ie. no rocking, no feeding to sleep, no letting my lo fall asleep in my arms... my natural instinct is to comfort her the way she likes best which is to latch on to the breast and get her comfort there) i never would have dreamed of having such a similar situation a few weeks ago but i thought that now that i've started i can't turn back for fear of confusing her. i know she can go for 8 hours so if i start to feed her every 4 during the night again then we're only going backwards.

well i'll do the DF again tonight as it has only been 2 nights, i'll try to get her to sleep gently if she wakes but if it turns into crying/being upset then i'll feed.

i wish i had all the answers 

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Just another thought 'growth spurt'  has Kitty had one lately?

I wish i had the answers for you , but im sure we can work them out

Kate x

[laveva]

hi mumof3+2

think you're confusing me with kitty'smum  who also posted on the topic.

my lo is 14 weeks and i think she had her 3month growth spurt about a week before she turned 3 months.

thing is after giving DF at 12 midnight, she stirred at 2 and then again at 4. i got her back to sleep at 2 with shushing and i really didn't think she'd be hungry again at 4 after only 4 hours considering she normally goes for 7 or 8 so that's why i resisted feeding (i thought we weren't supposed to "comfort" feed or use the breast to get baby to sleep?)

i might just give up on all of this and go back to being a "hippy mam!" popping out the boob whenever she wants

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Arh yes but theres also a 'major' 4 month one.....could be a little earlier as the last one was

Df are normaly given at no later than 10-10.30 and yes your right 'comfort' feeding is not the done thing.

I have had many issues with up and down supply (not saying you have) but over the last few weeks i have used EAEAS through the day and it works really well. Obviously this is not something you can do long term but if this is another GS its a great way to get you through it.

I hope you don't think that i think i know more than you about your lo, at the end of the day im just here to put some options forward and hopfully help you find whats right for you and your bub

Kate x

[laveva]

thanks kate i appreciate your time and i'm thrilled to hear ideas from other mums

actually now i remember what happened the other night - she stirred but was falling back to sleep, i however jumped in too soon thinking she had a dirty nappy so i picked her up and changed her and of course this woke her right up - so that was actually the reason behind the 1.5 hours of trying to go back asleep without feeding because i knew it wasn't hunger and thought that i can't feed her back to sleep if she has only woken up by habit.

well, fed her again last night at 11pm and she still managed to wake up between 3 and 4 so of course i fed her.

she certainly doesn't have weight issues so she doesn't need that extra feed at 11pm because she doesn't wake up looking for it so i might just drop it - or is there like a standard pattern where babies continue to wake for just a few days during the night until they get used to the new routine? and maybe i'd be reacting too soon by dropping it after only 3 or 4 days?

btw i've just seen in the book that tracy suggests 11pm feed. do you think maybe bringing it forward might make a difference?

and as for the 4 month spurt, i'm not seeing any signs of it being that...

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Hi again did she take a full feed at 11pm and also the one in the night?

Normally you would see the effect of adding the df within the 3-4 days so maybe your right and its not helping. Some lo just won't go the distance im.

Alot of people on the boards do the df before 10pm, tbhwy im not sure if it would make a diiference or not. But i will ask the other mods if they can think of anything else and see what they come up with.

Kate x

[laveva]

thanks kate!

i'm in no rush really to change things the way they are - she does only wake up once at 3 or 4am so it's not a problem - would be nice to get that full stretch of sleep for myself tho!! (maybe i should just start going to bed at 8pm with her  )

to answer your question, yep, she did take 2 full feeds. i'm going to give it a miss tonight anyway (i'm afraid of getting her used to 2 feeds again, yikes!!) and wait to see if the mods have any info. if not i might wait a month or so and see if i give it another go then.

thanks for all your help

*************

i wrote that a couple of nights ago but couldn't post it... turns out my LO woke all by her pretty little self at 11pm! oh no, i've created a monster  she then woke again at 2.30am, 5 and 7.15 so i'm praying it might just be the growth spurt after all!! and if not, then serves me right for messing round with her    ah no, if it turns out her rhythm is all messed up now, i'll just be patient and wait for her to get back into her own natural waking and eating pattern. (she couldn't seriously go from waking after 8 hours to waking every 2-3 for a prolonged period, could she?)

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Don't panic, like you say best thing to do is to let her find her own eating pattern and if it is 'THE 4mth GS' it will pass quicker

keep us posted on any progress

Kate x

[laveva]

well last night the poor mite couldn't get off to sleep at her usual bedtime so after close to an hour of trying to get her to sleep i took her downstairs with me for a bit and then fed her to sleep at about 10pm. she didn't wake till 5am!!

not sure what to do tonight - guess i'll just leave it to her for now and if she wakes at 11pm, feed her and then see if she goes till 5 again!

will let you know!

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Oh my, i bet you were both drained last night. Hope tonight goes better for you.

Kate x

[laveva]

well unfortunately things ain't getting any better 

she's waking up 2-3 times a night now instead of just the once!! she's 15 weeks tomorrow, getting closer to the 4 month mark so maybe i have to adjust her A time. anyway, we're going on holidays tomorrow for 10 days and i really don't think i'm going to get much of a chance to sh/pat her to sleep for 20-40 minutes every nap and nighttime so i think i'm going to take a break, recharge my batteries and start back at it again when we get back. she'll be just a week shy of 4 months by then so who knows, things might naturally just start to reestablish themselves...

will keep you updated though mum of 3+2! thanks so much for lending an ear 

[Mum of 3 + 2 stepkids]

Anytime, have a great hols and just try to relax. Im sure things will just work themselves out for you. I would just feed as and when while away and im sure those nwing's will iorn out over a few days. Like you said yourself the 3mth gs was early and im sure this is one too, this a big one and you will be thanking yourself in a week for all the hard work that you have done.

Chin up i know you can do it   

Kate x