desperate to sort out eating AP 15month old

[Mama2boys]

Hi all,

I have made disasterout blunders along the Way and now eating is in an absolute state.

Basically DS has to constantly be distracted to feed him. He self feeds finger food (steamed veggies) but only what he really loves and the main meal has to be spooned into his mouth.

Distraction requirements range from boxes and lids on his high chair for him to play with to standing by the music system to eat. He eats fruit running around the house and to be honest I am not so bothered by that as long as he will eta main meal properly.

The same goes for milk, he needs to be shown and read a book to drink milk. We have recently moved to sippy cup for morning and afternoon milk and only night milk is in a bottle. His milk intake from sippy cup is half of usual but w have been staying with that.

All in all eating habits are miserable and its all my fault. But I desperately need to sort it...help please....

Thanks a ton
Mukta

[shivi]

Hi Mutka....

we were also in this AP trap about a year ago.....around the time oscar turned one I think,,....also found out at that stage that my childminder (usually worth her weight in gold) was distracting Oscar with telly on for meals!!!

In my case, I think I wanted him to eat more than he needed and the only way to get those last few spoonfuls (or half a bowl) into him was by distracting him....plus, he's a hot hreaded spirited little boy and once he learned to shake his head and clamp mouth shut for no, that was it....

I would say if Uday is eating finger foods nicely then start from there and try to make the whole meal a finger food, praise him for earing this himself, stay sitting beside his high chair, encouraging him, leave some food on a fork and have a second one handy for loading.
annabel karmel has some receipes where the finger food is a whole meal rather than a single food group, in itself.....one of my faves are courgette, onion and cheese sausages with egg, breadcrumbs and flavourings....I add garlic too when Oscars a bit under the weather.

thanks to our AP, oscar will refuse anything that resembles "mush" to today, for instance, thick soup, mushy weetabix (though he will eat it will milk freshly poured on top), spaghetti bol mixed up....pasta must be separate to sauce and meat....etc....

I think if we're honest, we all go thro feeding ruts with our kids, whether it's thro use of distraction, lack of variety, lack of patience at mealtimes etc with our kids.

the most important thing is that you are acknowledging it now and we're here to give you help....
I can post exact receipes for whole meal type finger foods tomorrow if you like...but now my pillow's calling me!!!

night night!

Siobhain x

[Mama2boys]

Hi Shiv,

That is so helpful thanks!
Would love some recipes whenever you have a few minutes please...

Thanks a ton and sleep well
Mukta

[Vicku]

Hi again you two!

We were going through a phase when Lois would completely refuse to be fed from a spoon (at about 9 months) and just gave complete finger foods meals. for example pasta shapes, steamed veggies like baby carrots or broccoli florets, and little pieces of meat/fish fingers etc. It helped, so maybe that would be worth trying. Shiv will probably have more exciting recipies to try than me though as I feel like the queen of boring meals right now...

Lois' habits are a bit different so maybe I should start my own thread here to see if we can get a strategy going to make things better here.
Can hear her upstairs now tho so maight have to leave that for later.

Just one thought... do you think we as mums create some of the eating problems because we over-worry that our LOs don't get enough otherwise?

[Mama2boys]

YES,

i am completly responsible for my LO's poor habits, have always been so desperate for him to eat and sleep properly and in all fairness it is realted, the day he eats poorly he sleeps poorly and vice versa..

feel free to join in Vicku we can all support each other on a poor eating habit thread ..

Mukta

[Vicku]

Oh, thanks Mukta! I didn't want to highjack your thread, but if you don't mind, then I'll write here instead as I've not posted about it yet. We're all on a lot of the same threads at the mo

Well, I've always been very strict about only letting Lois eat at the table in her high chair as I thought that would create good habits plus I hated the thought of having to clean up food all round the house (the kitchen is plenty enough for me LOL) so apart from if we're visiting someone where the kids eat in the livingroom or we're out all day with the pram or so, she always eats in her high chair. Don't know if that is good all the time?

From the very beginning Lois was very fussy about which foods she'd accept, for example fruit she loves, but savoury things were harder (makes sense I guess). I think the AP I've done is to not insist on the things she didn't want but gave something else instead as I wanted her to be full... and ultimately sleep better... (same reason as Mukta) She used to have quite a big appetite and could eat lots of the things she liked, but would refuse to eat most things and be very selective.

Anyway, the problem now and for a long time has been that she blank refuses to try anything new and only eats a quite small amount of foods. I feel like I'm always feeding her the same things. I'd love for her to start joining in the family meals, but if we eat for example spag bol she'll only eat the spaghetti and some grated cheese, refuse to try the sauce and if we mix spaghetti and sauce she'll have a tantrum that lasts for 10 mins or so. She hates things being mixed up and basically will only eat things she recognises.

We've tried introducing new foods with old ones and she just leaves the new food or throws it on the floor. I've tried giving only something new and then we have the tantrum. I just don't know how to approach it anymore so any ideas would be great.

[Mama2boys]

hmmm Vicku, does she ask for more if she is hungry?

I was wondeirng what would happen if you offer her slightly less in quantity of her favourite stuff and let her explore some of the new stuff as an 'also' and give her more only when she has tasted/eaten some of the new stuff.

DS is also being a bit fussy about what he eats nowadays, so I can totally relate!

[Vicku]

She does ask for more a lot of the time yes. I wonder if she's old enough for starting to 'negotiate' about getting something after she's tried something else. It could be a good idea. Will have to try that. Not sure what to do when she gets the tantrums though. should I just take her down from the table then? Maybe I have to be harder with her than I have been?

Mukta, are your intentions to get him to eat by the table again without distractions? Maybe you could try and make the feeding process a distraction in itself? Finger foods could maybe work. Also at his age Lois started to get an interest in feeding herself more and more and he might be getting ready for that. If you help him put the food on a spoon or baby fork, then show him how to hold it and put it in his mouth. Maybe if you went out and bought a new set of spoon and fork he'd be more interested. I got Lois a set that were bent so thet it's easier for them to get them into their mouths and that was very good for her along finger feeding. It could maybe help getting the attention back to the food and the eating.

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Stacy and Vicku,

My intention is that at some point eats a whole meal on his own, without needing a toy/something to keep his hands busy and distract him.

I like the idea of using food itself as a distraction, and would love suggestions Vicku, At presnet I always give him loads of steamed veggies as finger food and a fork/ spoon etc to eat it with, at time she will have a few bites using the fork/spoon but normally prefers using his fingers.

He seems to be one of those kid who gets bored easily and has to have his hands busy. So if I am feeding him milk (he can but won't hold the bottle/sippy cup) he will play with his feet or something just has to keep his hands busy. Same thing with meal times, he will eat a bit on his own and then want to play etc but happily at times and at others unhappily eat what I feed him

His feeding schedule is as below, and Stacy you might have a point there about eating too frequently so would love your advise.

5:30-6:30 on waking 4 oz milk
7:30 bfast - cereal and fruit
9:30 2 small yogurt pots
11:30/12 or 1:30 Lunch followed by fruit (time depend son the nap)
2:30 milk 4oz
5:15/5:30 dinner and fruit
6:45/7 80z milk

would love you guidance on how this can be adjusted.

Thanks,
Mukta

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Stacy, this is absolutely worth a try.

Based on our lifestyle (need to leave for work etc.) I have edited it as below, please can you let me know what you think of the plan?

Wake-up and milk (4-6oz whateevr he will have)
8:30 bfast
11:30 lunch
nap
2:30 milk/snack
5:30 dinner
7:00 milk

I will try and offer milk with every meal, but I have a sneaky feeling it won't work, so do you offer milk instead of water? when does kaleb drink water then?

I am trying to avoid too much of liquid with the meal since that seems to fill him up, I'd rather he drink before  after milk or water, whatever the liquid be.

thanks for your advise Stacy!

[Vicku]

Thanks for all that good advice Stacy! I think I have to be a bit harder with excusing her from the table if she doesn't want what's offered. I guess hunger would be her main motivation to try new things, as the problem is to even get her to try them. I've just felt too conscious of getting her to eat a balanced diet within the foods she does eat, but in the long term she really needs to expand this. It's getting ridiculous, and I always said I didn't want to be making special meals for her. I know part of it now is me trying to avoid the tantrums, but maybe I just have to face it and find ways of dealing with them instead or things will get worse with time.
Just a question, should I include the same new food for a few days in a row or a new one at each meal?

Mukta, I also think he might be eating a little too often. I notice with Lois that she won't have a proper lunch if she has a snack before and same thing with dinner. It can work if I limit the snack to something very small though, but I don't always give snacks. We have given milk only at wake up and bedtime (before brushing her teeth) for a long time now and DS probably wouldn't need his afternoon milk anymore if you give cheese/yoghurts too. I found she ate more if she only had water with her meal as like Stacy says, milk is quite filling. It might be a case of trying what works for DS, but limiting snacks, milk with meals instead of between, and cutting out afternoon milk and replacing with more calorific dairy producs like cheese during meals.

These are ideas for getting him to be properly hungry for his meals, now to the part of getting him to eat them without distractions...

I found giving finger foods in little pots (she loves if I give her the lid to put on and take off too!) in different colours, using different bowls and cups for different foods seems to delight her too. We don't usually do this but when I take her out I usually pack food like this and she loves it. Maybe that could be something to try? I also have a snack trap (if you've heard of them?) that could distract him and get him to eat by himself at the same time. Only really works for finger foods, but as he gets a little older he'll probably want to feed himself more anyway, with a spoon and fork too. Hopefully if he's properly hungry and he finds interesting ways of feeding himself he'll eat better. It might also be a case of doing what I need to do... be harder and if not interested, take the food away as they can't be THAT hungry really if they don't eat, can they? I know that's not easy to do though... maybe we can support each other on that?

[Vicku]

Oh Mukta, we posted at the same time

[Mama2boys]

so we did Hope you had a good night.

I think I am beginning to form a plan.

Will get rid of the afternoon milk and replace with yogurt and keep only morning and night milk, and spread out the rest of the day so to have 3 hours between every meal- milk or snack. lets see if that makes a difference.

He loves pots and lids as well, and thats part of the problem, as he gets so engrossed with that that he wont eat. But I think if I can get him hungry enough it might work, lets see. I will stay with water with meals rather than milk...i know he wont take milk and don't want him to reduce his water intake as well.

I too find it hard to excuse him when he does not eat and more than happy to support you through this...if only I could sort his feeding out I'd be so much more comfortbale with life as a mommy!

[Lissybits]

Hi girls and welcome back Vicku

Your plan sounds great Mukta!

In our case, if Nicholas has anything else other than fruit btw meals - it takes the edge off his appetite and he won't eat. I absolute hate it when DH takes him to the family for a visit in the morning - he'll never eat lunch on these days even though I give DH strict instructions - nil by mouth! 

Nicholas has to be hungry to eat - otherwise he just plays. I think you have to find the right amount of time btw each meal/snack and maybe try the milk after the meal except at BT. Milk is a BIG tummy filler.
We had to stop giving the sippy of milk on waking as it stopped DS eating breakfast and kind of through the day out. Now he has it after he's eaten and much less milk.

Also, lots of activity always gets plates emptied in this house

Lis ( I was just thinking that the eating area has been the ONLY area we haven't had problems in....yet )
 

[Vicku]

I think I am beginning to form a plan.

Will get rid of the afternoon milk and replace with yogurt and keep only morning and night milk, and spread out the rest of the day so to have 3 hours between every meal- milk or snack. lets see if that makes a difference.

That sounds like a really good plan I think!

...if only I could sort his feeding out I'd be so much more comfortbale with life as a mommy!

So would I sweetie!!! You have my support too