WEANING thread #2... Come share experiences and offer support

[shonab]

Am after any routines / suggestions on weaning - my lo is coming up to 11months & would like to have him weaned by the time is he 1 y/o. We are only bf 3 to 4 feeds through the day. Any ideas very welcome!

[Calums mum]

Hello,
I need some help please please please. I have an 11 month old who I would really like to wean and I'm not sure how to go about it. She's only feeding twice and in the night (I know - terrible - but thats my next issue). She's feeding at nap time and bed time and I can't seem to get her to the point where she will go down without feeding first. She won't lie back and suck back a whole bottle, she just drinks it gradually over a few hours and maybe she finishes it. I never had this problem with my son. He loved his bottle and weaned himself. Can someone give me some helpful hints on how to go about this.
Joanna

[lashwish]

I need help.

I'm a first time momma & my LO is 11m. She's BF & been self weaning for last few months. I was upset at first but she needed to eat so I started to wean to formula. She BFs am & bedtime (usually) and is FF at 11 & 3. The last 2 days she's refusing BFing at bedtime. She also takes a 4oz bottle at bedtime as I was having supply issues & she also refused to BF several months ago so I started giving bottle as well & topped her off with BF.

So my question is how do you get them to drink formula/milk with meals?
Should I just start feeding her solids first in am & then offer milk?
I know bedtime bottle is last to go but how does that happen? Are they just full enough from solids & milk at dinner?

Also, what about dropping a formula feeding? I thought there was an FAQ on that but I cant find it.

I wanted to wean by 1 yr anyway so Im not interested in increasing supply. I also do not want to offer boob whenever.

[EloysH]

Hi All,

my lo is 12.5 months and we have weaned down to one breastfeed per day now, I started actively doing it at about 11 months.

Anyway I can help with some of you questions.. can someone help me with mine too??

Calums Mums, Shoan & Lashwish::
First of all I was really stressed about the idea of weaning as LO loves his "boob" but it is much much easiler than you think.   We were on 3 breasfeeds per day at 11 months.. sometimes 4 ( on a whinging day).   I researched with the early childhood centre on whether 3 breastfeeds would need to be replaced with 3 cups of milk. And the answer is no, they don't even have to drink any milk at all!!   As long as they are getting anough calcium per day.. which would be  1x 3cm cube of cheese and 3/4 cup of yoghurt, and a serve of spinach or broccoli.

Also, I have found now that he is more mobile.. running, walking, he is too busy for breastfeeding during the day.. he is also getting too busy for cuddles.  So when your LO gets' busier you wil find it is sooo much easier.  This is what I was told my alot of Mums also.  There is a natural window for weaning.

Also,  I used to feed to sleep sometimes for naps and bedtime, when he was 10 or 11 months this was the case.  So I made sure that I stopped doing that gradually, just brought the breastfeed further and further away from the nap time.  I started by giving the breast just 5 mins before bed and adding in a cuddle after the breastfeed finished.  After a week of that I added in a book. Eventually he learned to go down "awake".   He did cry and cry demanding it for a few weeks, but I would just cuddle him till he was calm and say "no boob, just cuddles" over and over, and then place him in the cot. Basically one day I just said in my head - no more feeding to sleep. And that was that.  but it wasn't so hard because he already was an independent sleeper, I just fell into old habits for a while.   I did not attempt to drop from 3 feeds a day until I had sorted out the feeding to sleep.

  SO what I did was this:
1. Cut all breasfeeding down to strictly 3 per day  before breakfast, after lunch and 15 mins before bed.  I used to feed just before bed.. and sometimes a 4th feed in afternoon. I changed the dinner feed to 15 mins before and put brush teeth and stories after that (in preparation for replacing BF with a cup of milk).

2. Dropped one feed at a time.  Lunchtime feed first. This feed actually toook me 3 weeks to properly drop as he was teething and very irritable for about 4 weeks, so he kept demanding it.  But once he was over the teething he sort of forgot about the lunch time feed.  I introduced about 100mL of milk from a cup about 1 hour after lunch as an afternoon tea thing.

3. After 2 weeks on 2 feeds a day we dropped the morning feed.  Got up before him (yuck, before 6am) got dressed and told him that today we have breakfast first.  I started naming all his favourite breakfast foods - saying "we'll eat kiwi fruit & bannana" today. We went straight into breakfast.  After breakfast I thought he might "demand" the breastfeed but he was too busy and went about his business playing with his toys!! Now this has been the same way for 7 days.. not once has he asked for the morning breastfeed.   I did not add nother cup of milk to his routine.  He just has milk on his cereal.

4.  Now the night time feed.  We are currently doing bath, breastfeed, brush teeth and then story time with dad and dad puts him to sleep.  We are planning to replace the breastfeed with a cup of milk from Dad.  I'm not ready to  yet.  I will wait till the time feels right.
We will then drop the cup of milk at night after a few weeks, but we've decided to offer one at first to help the transition.


Has has anyone got any tips for dropping the night feed, the final one?? 

[coopers_mommy]

We just recently (about 4 days ago) dropped the night feed.  Our routine was very similar to yours.  How did we do it? Well...DS is 18 months so it's taken a LONG time for me to give this one up...I LOVED this feed and just couldn't do it.  But we're TTC so it just seemed right to finally cut this one out as well.  We knew that DS didn't need to during the nighttime routine as there were nights where I was out and DS went down easily for DH.  I would just BF before I left. 

I told DS when it was time that we wouldn't be BF'ing anymore in 3 or so days and then I just stuck to it.  I told him when it was his last time to nurse (He DEF made up for it....that was one of the longest nursing in a while!).  We have now replaced it with singing at night, then DH reads and puts him down to bed.  DS has only asked for it twice and cried once for it, but after I was out of the room, he calmed down. I DON'T sit in the chair that we used to nurse in...I don't want to send mixed signals. 

I hope this helps....like I said, I held onto this one for a long time and probably would have kept it for longer. 

[EloysH]

thanks Coopers mommy,

wow, you make it sound easy.   Good point about sitting in the nursing chair. I will have to think about that one, as that is where we read books and do other things. So you gave him a few days advance warning, and it sounds as though DS really appreciated that.  I think I will give a few days warning too. 
 So did you replace it with a cup of milk at all?
BTW what is TTC - trying for second child? 

[coopers_mommy]

For a long time we allowed a cup of milk/water for when DH was reading to him after the nursing....DS would drink so much after nursing that I realized he was barely even getting anything from me....it was just the habit of nursing!  So when we stopped nursing, the cup of milk/water was already in place and he will drink which ever at that point.  We do milk at breakfast, lunch, and dinner so depending on how much he has drank through the day depends on if he gets milk or water at bedtime. 

TTC is trying to conceive. 

[nevviemama]

Hi there, I thought I'd share my experience. I also wanted to reach a year and was anxious about the whole process. But my lo has adapted quite well to it all. We were on 4 full feeds a day until about the 11 month mark. My doctor said she needs about 15 oz of milk a day, so after cutting the night feed, I could cut another feed without having to replace. So I cut the afternoon feed first. I offered her a small snack instead like a bit of yogurt or fruit or mum mum. After a week or so I cut the midday feed and did the same with a snack. She was so busy in the day anyhow that often she wouldn't feed that much anyway, so I knew she could handle it. After a few weeks, I then replaced the bedtime feed with a bottle. Had dh put her to bed the first few nights and then it seemed not to be a problem for her. I dropped that feed before the am one because we've had early wakes, and noone wanted to make a bottle at 5:30! Just these last few days I've started her on am bottle. I did it once every second day and starting tomorrow it will be bottle only. We'll see how that goes. Today I've been depressed and have had a few urges to bf her, and she pulled at my shirt once this afternoon. I'm sad to let it go completely but do feel that we're both ready.

In terms of milk intake, she takes around 8oz in the am, then milk in her cereal. 3-4oz with a snack after each nap and a bottle before bed. She also eats cheese and yogurt so she's getting plenty of calcium. I hope this helps others!

[EloysH]

Hi Lucy,

oh sounds like you've done a great job of weaning.  I feel for you being sad about the whole thing, of course you know it is the right thing to do.  I am nearly ready to wean that last feed and so is he and I am already feeling a bit sad about it and shedding a few tears here and there. I guess its one of those facts of life..  they are growing up so fast.    The only thing  can think to to sease the situation is to make sure you both have extra cuddles and one on one time to make up for it.  That's the only thing I can think that will help us through it.

[nevviemama]

I know, so many tough things, and times where we really need to step back from our own feelings and consider theirs. Today after am bottle we cuddled and she actually sat still and cuddled with me, it was great. Then took her into bed with dh as every morning for more cuddles. The feelings of sadness are still here, and my boobs are a bit sore and engorged (not as  bad as it's been in the past, I guess gradual weaning was as much for me as for her!)
Dh and I are getting ready to make a move out of the city where we live, so weaning that final feed now was important for me. Changes are coming in the next few weeks/months and I didn't want to do it while other stuff was going on.

[smeedias]

Hi all. I'm just looking for a friendly 'cyber-shoulder' to lean on as I cope with the fact that my almost 10 month old seems uninterested in breastfeeding.  I never thought that it would upset me so much to have him not want to bf.     Usually I can get him back on the breast after he bobs on and off but today I tried 4 times from late afternoon to evening and he pushed it away.  I really hope he isn't self-weaning b/c I'm not ready for it yet!  I love the connection that we have during that time as I find it calms him and me.  I have found that this situation started about 3 weeks ago when he started to teethe.  Maybe he's doing me a favour?!?!?  Guess I'll have to cherish his 2 morning feeds (waking and then nap) and his night time wakings (when they occur).  Thanks ladies for listening.  I don't think my DH would understand.

[JenJ]

Hello Everyone

My DS is just over 11 months old (he's my first child) and am wanting to wean him as my DH and I want to TTC.  I feel ready to wean, but at the same time I am having a lot of anxiety about it.  It is a change in routine and I'm afraid of how crabby he might be and I'm afraid of my breast getting extremely uncomfortable.  I don't know how to quit BF. 

Right now I'm BF 4x a day once in the morning when he wakes up, after am nap, after pm nap and I nurse him to sleep at night.  He will not take a bottle and doesn't drink much out of a sippy cup.  He knows how to drink out of a sippy cup, but doesn't want to.  I feel the only liquids he gets during the day are from BFings.  I have a sippy cup for him at meal time with water or juice and he may drink some, but not a whole lot.  He does drink some out of a grown up's glass if he sees you drinking out of it then he wants a drink.  I also leave the sippy cup around him throughout the day and he doesn't seem interested in drinking from it.

My DS is kind of a picky eater.  He doesn't chew things very well and we have had some cases of him puking his supper up because he swallows green beans, noodles, peas, cheese, etc whole on top of me feeding him mashed potatoes or whatever else I can get him to eat.  I don't know what to replace his BF's with because I have problems getting him to eat things.

He usually wakes from his am nap between 11:15 and 12:00. So do I just feed him dinner instead of BFing?  I usually BF and then have dinner and supper about an hour and a half after his BF.  He wakes from his pm nap around 4:15 to 5:00 and I feel this is too early for supper.  We usually eat around 6 or 6:30pm as a family and would like to continue to have DS eat with us.

I'm so confused and don't know what to do or how to stop.  I know this probably seems easy to some of you, but I'm struggling with the anxiety of it all.  I'm here by myself all day until DH gets home at 5:30pm or so and feel I don't have the support I need throughout the day.

Can someone please help me.

Jen

[mjkuebler]

I am also relunctant to stop breastfeeding but I support you and I realize how hard it is.
Sometimes we have to work so hard and don't realize this too will pass.  But I was told to breast feed more on the message board.  And to hell with that.   Some times we have to do baby steps every day.  You will be my inspiration.  To wean my almost three year old monster!

[EloysH]

Hi Jen,

((Hugs)) I know some of what you are going through, I can empathise with you having just weaned my 14 month old two weeks ago he was 13.5 months old at last feed.

At 11 months I was in your position wanting to wean and feeling alot of anxiety about it, on 3 to 4 feeds a day.  If you read back through this thread you will see a bit of my story.

Anyway, we are sucessfully weaned and it wasn't half as hard as I thought,  and that also what alot of other Mums say when they actually try to wean.

The general method is drop one feed at a time, do it at your own pace when you feel LO have adjusted, move to drop the next feed.  Try not re-introduce a bf once once it is dropped,  (although I went back and forth for weeks going from 4 to 3 but I feel this made things harder). Most people drop the lunch one first as you are planning to do too.    I found it easiest to have the meal ready to go so when they wake up instead of bf-ing you can tell LO about the meal that is ready , gert excited about it! Have it all set up in their highchair and whisk them into the eating part fairly quickly.   You'll probably find that LO eats alot more.      Then you have either milk in a cup or water to offer with the meal  or even after the meal whatever you think works for you. 


Oh make sure you also have morning tea and afternoon tea of a small snack.  This is great two distract LO from a breastfeed.  You can substitute an afternoon BF or mid morning bf with a snack.  This is what I did.

Look here are some replies to your worries that might help...

1. the sippy cup issue/mostly getting liquid from breastmilk so not drinking other fluids: -
I think most breastfed babies don't take much fluid at first it took us months to get him to drink more than 50ml at a time.  We never had bottles either.  If a normal cups works better whey not use that, that's great for the long term! I find our LO enjoys a real cup better it is more satisfying for him to get a gulp of liquid rather than sip on the sippy cup.    Anywaty I think that LO will drink more once the breastfeed it taken away... you just need to trust that he will drinks what he needs, no baby will dehydrate themself!   

2. Being alone and worried: -
I really know how you feel, but you know what  once you droip that first feed, each one gets easier and easier... going forom 4 to 3 was the hardest due to my anxiety.  Hopefully you will be surprised that LO can take it on board quite well.  Be prepared for LO to start asking for the breastfeed at odd times... treat this situations with a confident voice...  "oh no boob now, wait till bedtime..  look here, can mummy give you a sip of water/milk from the special cup" and this distraction works quite well..  Sometimes I would offer a snack and mostly a cuddle.   I found that he would accept that quite well.

Try not to sit in the usual places that you do the breastfeed at those times of the day.. for instance in the afternoons I needed to avoid sitting on the couch with him as he would think that we were doing to do a breastfeed.  After a few weeks that passes and you will be able to sit in those places again!

3. Picky eating
Sounds pretty hard for you .. I think that the only way to get though it is to keep offering a wide variety of foods, persistence and time is what your LO needs.  Research shows that babies and toddlers need to be offered and taste things 10 times before they will actually take it on board so give two weeks for each new food before you decide that he hates it!  Also.. no kids will starve themself!! If you wean gradually your LO will eat more and breastfeed less.  I guess you know with food it is mainly about their curiosity and have lots of praise.  And respect that when they don't want anymore that that is it.Even if they have only had a few bits of their meal.  They will make up for it next meal or snack.  You want to keep a good relationship with food, no force feeding.


Also be prepared that after 12 months their appetite decreases alot. like for my LO is was to about 1/3 of what he nornally would eat, this is normal as they start trimming down and growth rate slows to look like a proper lean toddler!   Sometimes we only get one good meal a day, the rest is picking at things.

Just take it at your own pace..  I started weaning at 11 months and to drop the last feed he was 13.5 months.  we were on one night feed for quite a few weeks before I was able to part with it.  It was very sad but you know what?? it is also liberating, and I feel proud that he and I are able to get through it happy, it's a rite of passage for us and I have come to terms with the change in our relationship quite quickly.

[campbellchick]

Hi, I just wanted to join this thread as I am tossing up whether to wean dd or not.  She is just over 11 months old and I was originally hoping to make it to 12 months bf'ing her, but know from the first time around, that sometimes it isn't always a possiblility!  In the last 2 months my supply has been dwindling - I think due to various reasons and just in the last few weeks I am struggling to produce enough BM without having to top her up afterwards.  I just recently dropped the middle of the day BF (was pumping that feed during the week anyway since I've been back at work for 4 months) and switched her to full formula, but I was hoping to keep up the morning and evening feeds for a while longer.  However, lately I've been having to top her up after those feeds with formula anyway, so wondering if it is worth continuing to BF altogether or not!  I've been switch nursing and I think this has built my supply back up during those feeds as some days I don't have to top her up and other days I do.  I have also found that dd almost seems to prefer the bottle lately anyway - which makes me so sad since she has been an excellent BF'er since birth.  I wonder if it is just that age?  I do notice that even with a bottle, she rarely drinks the whole thing, she prefers to get up and play for a while, then keep drinking it, then play again.  I guess I was probably hoping to hold out until she gets old enough to replace the BM with cow's milk.  Anyway to cut a long story short, I just wanted to join this thread to see what others are doing and try to make a decision either way!  Thanks for listening.