WEANING thread #2... Come share experiences and offer support

[clh]

If they're getting enough in the day, then not really.  Mine were just used to it then & it made an easier transition for us to keep moving it earlier in the routine.  J doesn't have it at all any more.  (Isaac does, though.  )

[EloysH]

they don't need any milk provided you have enough calcium in their diet

[saralw]

Hello BF moms!

It looks like this board hasn't been posted to in a bit, but hopefully someone is out there

My DS is 16.5 mo and is at 4+ BF/day.  We recently moved overseas and due to all the transition I have let him nurse as much as he asked for (which has been A LOT!).  He's starting to get back to a more normal schedule, but is still nursing once at night (around 5am) and a lot in the mornings, in addition to his regular 4 BFs. 

We have had a great BF relationship, but I am ready to gradually begin weaning him with my goal being to be totally done with it by the end of May (19 mo).  I have NO IDEA where to begin!!!  He is pretty attached to his milk and has started throwing tantrums if I decline his request.  I know we have just gone through a big transition, so I don't want to jump in too quickly.  But I need to devise a plan so that I know I am making progress, even if it is slow. 

One other note is that I would like to avoid giving him cow's milk.  He's not allergic to dairy, but has other allergies that I think could be affected by cow's milk.  Any suggestions on alternatives would be much appreciated!  Our Naturpathic Dr suggested perhaps goats milk, but is that much different than cow's milk, really?  I would also like to avoid soy milk with him, at least as a replacement for breast milk.  How much "milk" exactly does he need at this point and going forward?  He does love plain yogurt.

Thanks so much for any response!!!

[EloysH]

I BF till LO was 14 months.. I reduced from 3 feeds a day to 1 over 2 months.  Just cut out one feed at a time and tried not to offer it again.  If you look though this thread and read back through the pages you will see lots of great info.

They don't need any milk provided you have enough calcium in their diet.

We do either rice milk or goat milk about 100 ml's  a day (since lO was 12 months, he's now 16 months).  As to how much milk you give its totally up to you. If LO doesn't like it then don't worry, but if LO loves it then great! 250ml of milk is recommended, but I know some kids that still have 3 cups a day at 12- 15 months old.  Personally i think it interferes with their appetite too much thus inhibiting them from having a balanced diet (obviously this is different if it were breast milk being offered  )

My LO is 16 months and he has goat milk or rice milk on his cereal - that's it.  Sometimes a cup of milk for a treat.  Having said that he has 3/4 cup of yoghurt every night for dessert with bannana or berries, and often cheese and spinach throughout the day.  A few times a week tofu as well, so his calcium intake is covered.

[saralw]

Thanks EloysH! I just noticed our LO's must be just 1 day apart... my DS is 1 year, 4 mo, 2 wk & 6 days old

I guess I am totally clueless, though, because dropping a feeding sounds easy in concept, but I'm not sure how to implement it!  What do I do if he asks for milk??  Do I need to give him a snack at that time instead?  Should I start by offering him a snack and then milk after nap time?  I've always been afraid that he would start waking at night out of hunger if I nursed him less during the day. 

Also, I'm curious why you chose to do goat's milk rather than cow's milk.  I do like the idea of it, but wondering how different it is.  I'm starting to read more about it.  How did you begin introducing it?  So far LO has only had breast milk and water to drink. 

Thanks!!

[saralw]

Me again!  Well, I finally took time to sit down and read through this thread.  Took all day with LO running around Looks like there were others who were as clueless as me at first and found a way to do it.  I think my plan will be to cut out the 5am nursing first, as that one is my least favorite But I won't cut out any others until he is doing well w/o the 5am... that way he can ask for all the milk he wants during the day to make up for the 5am. 

After that I will start cutting out the after-nap feeds and replacing with snacks.  Does anyone suggest a super slow approach like offering him a snack and then BF, to reduce the BF first, and THEN cutting out the BF all together?  I'm just so worried that he's going to be hungry at night and not sleep well... or should I just stick to my guns and it might be rough for a few days/nights until he realizes he has to eat more solids?? 

Also, this is a real long shot, but does anyone know where I can find goats milk in Tokyo?!?

[EloysH]

Hey Sara,


At his age I don't think a slow approach is really necessary cause he's old enough to figure out that he needs to eat more. If Mum is firm in her resolve and providing him opportunities to eat other snacks he just needs to catch on that boob is not available and snack/milk in a cup is. 

Just say he doesn't want his snack cause he is hanging out for the boob;-  then you have to stick to your guns and re-offer the snack and wait till next meal times.  Your BF's after naps are just snacks too really. You keep can out the snack somewhere where he can see it and say when you are hungry/thristy come and eat this - at this age you have the benefit of language, if you point and talk about it he will get the picture i reckon.   If he is whinging/whining for the breast you can offer a cuddle instead and then distract/distract/distract/   with a cool toy  and come back to the snack in 30 mins or so when he realises no BF is coming.


The slow approach would be beneficial for a baby that is not yet used to food, but you LO has had the benefit of months of eating and enjoying.. just give him his favourite foods.  You can do it, I think he will take his cues from you so you have to be confident and make the food/snacks seem really enjoyable, sit and eat with him.


My friend stopped when her LO was 17 months, she went cold turkey cause he was very persistent, as soon as she tried to drop a feed or two he would just ask all day long.. so she cut them all out at once. Her LO would ask for "boo" over and over and she would offer a cuddle instead. He soon got the picture.  He did not wake once for hunger or anything he was old enough to eat his way around the kitchen.  She was probably nursing him up to 10 times a day at that point.   So there's a good success story for you.

[EloysH]

Cool about the age, my lO  bday is on the 27th!

on the goat milk, its easier to digest and apparantly their gut is not fully formed till 18 months old.  It tastes stringer by LO has no preference either way really.

[saralw]

Thanks Eloise I think you are right that he is old enough to understand.  I don't know why I am so nervous.  Actually for the last few days he doesn't have as much interest in nursing after noon time, and not even as much interest before bed.  So I hope that is a sign that he might give it up without a fight.  Mornings will be harder, but maybe if we get up and get out of the house he will be too distracted to notice. 

Thanks for the story about your friend, as well.  That is really encouraging!!  If worse comes to worse we might have to go that route!!  But it makes me feel better to hear that it didn't affect his sleep and that he survived I'm not sure if my boobs would survive going cold turkey, though!! 

Alright, I'm going to work on cutting the 5am feed over the next week or so, and then go from there.  Hopefully I'll be posting a success story soon!

[Winny]

Hi All,

Please Help!!

I been considering about weaning my 8 months old a bit later, well, when I feel ready. But I have a problem. Before I used to BF until she slept. I am first time mum, so did not realise she would associated BF with sleeping. So 2 months ago, I stopped BF till sleep. Now I will BF her 15 mins before nap & bed time. I also brought in a bedtime routine. She did well for 1 month, she would sleep by herself after the BF and routine. But recently, she suddenly cry and cry, demand for the "boob" after I put her down. I have already fed her before the routine. She could go whinging and crying for 1 hour or more. Eventually I would give her so she could get some sleep. After a few minutes sucks, I put her back to bed awake then she would sleep.

So how can I disassociate the "booby comfort" and sleep? Or do I just have to be firm and cuddle her till she calm, then try to put her sleep again? [with no "booby"]

Would it be helpful if I bring BF after she wake up instead of before nap and bed time? But how?

[EloysH]

I had this association too when LO was about 6-7 months old.  The only way to break it was to stand firm and say "no more boob, you already had your feed love".  And stand firm.  It was pretty hard he cried and cried for about 30 mins quite a few times, the most of the time  I was patting him in the cot and cuddling him when things got really bad.  I also have caved in a few times, and it made everything so much harder the next time.  It took me about 3 weeks for LO to be happy to go to slepe without boob.  Waer something that coers them really well also.  Also used DH to put him to bed at night so that helped alot.   If you can slowly bring your feed further and further back from the bed time/ nap time, one day you will find it's fairly close to the point of waking.  Just keep doing it gradually, 

[Winny]

Thanks Eloysh, this is very helpful, really gives me some confident back.

Guess I will have to stand firm. Just want to know that, did you stayed with him for entire 30 minutes when he cried, and eventually he calmed by himself and sleep? I just couldn't see the end of her crying.

And what is DH?

[EloysH]

Dh - dear husband.

I didn't stay with him the whole 30 mins, I did what you call "walk in Walk OUt"  (WI/WO) but this site advocates the "pick up put down"(PU/PD)  method - where you do stay with them the whole time.    It depends on your LO.  I would use that latter if they have never slept independently on their own.  I would used the first one if they do know how to sleep independently but you are just re training  them.  In our case he was going to sleep on his own since 4 months old. but then at 6 months old I thought he was hungry all the time and I accidentally started feeding to sleep for about a month.  So  I chose to do WI/WO, and also because he would cry even harded if I held him cause he wanted to boob, sometimes if I left the room adn then came back after a minute or two and pick him up or just pat him  he would calm down.

[Winny]

Thanks Eloysh,

I will get my DH to put her to sleep. Happy for your success story.

[saralw]

Winny - I made the switch from nursing to sleep to nursing after nap time around 6-7 months, as well.  It's definitely possible!  I think Eloise's suggestion for asking your DH to help is a good one.  Also, at 8 months, PU/PD worked well for us, as I thought he wasn't ready for WI/WO.  But there was still a good amount of crying.  Eventually my LO was going to sleep easily without milk beforehand.  I'm not sure how much your LO is eating solids by now, but you could try to do a snack closer to nap time, to fill her belly a bit   Good luck!

For us, we have successfully stopped the 5:30 accidental parenting nursing sessions!!  Although DS is still waking up at 5:30 We have been doing WI/WO (DH has been a great help, but tonight is my turn) in the mornings from about 5:30 to 7:30... he will sleep periodically during that time.  Crossing my fingers that the WI/WO will start helping and that someday he will sleep from 7:30 to 7:30?!?!!

Other than that, I have been trying to keep our 4 daily BFs to set times and give him about a 30 minute window.  If he asks outside that window, I tell him it's not time for milk, and he seems okay with it.  No tantrums!!!  I have realized that a lot of times when he asks for milk, he is really just wanting attention, and is happy with that.  I've also noticed that sometimes he'll stop nursing and ask for food or water... hopefully that is small sign that he might not be totally tramautized by the real weaning!!  All this to gear up for cutting out our first BF in 3 weeks...