Please help - where do I start?

[Tobysmum]

Where do I start ?!
I have absolutely no routine yet - baby is 11 weeks today.  Just as some background, he was 4 pounds 14 at birth (full-term) and so he's been feeding much more regularly than every 3 hours (anywhere from 1-3 hour intervals) - this was to get his weight up obviously as he was very hungry as the doctor said he was probably being starved in utero as he wasn't growing!  He's now at least 10.5 pounds and is doing very well.
He doesn't nap in a crib or bassinet (yet!) - he just sleeps wherever (infant seat, stroller, carry cot) - but he sleeps at night in bassinet next to our bed (however at about 5.00/5.30 every morning he won't go back to sleep unless he comes into the bed with us.  He is a very efficient feeder (I have a quick let down and produce LOTS of milk!)  We have three floors in our house and that's one reason why I don't put him upstairs in a crib/bassinet as it's more convenient to have him down with me.

I exclusively breastfeed.  Would like him to have one bottle per day but he won't take a bottle - although we are working on it and have tried to give him one bottle per day.  He took one today and yesterday (a latex nipple which he seems to accommodate more) but only one ounce.
He falls asleep after most of his feeds generally and is pretty much impossible to wake up.  On top of that, he doesn't always take a full feed (and will fall asleep) - at night he'll feed for about 10 mins (sometimes less) and then fall asleep again.

Daytime is all over the place.
Evening wise, he tends to feed at about 6 and 8pm and then I dreamfeed at 10.30ish - then he wakes up to be fed at 2.30 and around 4.30/5.00 then can wake up around 5.30/6.00 and won't go back to sleep unless he's in our bed.  At that time in the morning I have just given in as I'd rather go back to sleep rather than battle to get him down again.  Probably wrong of me.

My toddler (2 years old) has a great routine, he naps at around 12.45/1.00 until 3.00/3.30 and goes to bed 7pm sharp.  I'd like to get them on the same routine but I don't know where to start since this baby catnaps a lot, doesn't always take a full feed (as he falls asleep) and doesn't wake at the same time everyday.

I wanted to feed him at 7am this morning, but he woke up at 6.  He was given a bottle at 10am but only took one ounce so he was hungry again at 11am (when I breastfed him). 

I am all over the place (and so is this post!) 
Where do I start?
He's more like
E
S
A
E 
S!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone post a sample routine that I could potentially follow?  I'm just finding it difficult as he likes to sleep a lot, falls asleep after his feeds etc.  I find it difficult to try and keep him awake especially as I have to split my attention with my toddler.

[Angela and Victoria]

Hi

I am new here, but reading your post I have a couple of ideas. I am sure that the ladies here will give you a far better input ;-)

I fully understand your pain for the 5:30-6 am waking ups. I had the same with my baby (8 weeks). Since I knew she was not hungry (and I believe this is your case also) I have tried to implement some of the advices I found on this forum related to habitual waking, but it was all in vain. Plus I find it very difficult to be consistent AND motivated enough at that time of the morning in order to put that much effort for just one hour or 30 min of sleep for the Lo. So I also ended up with her in my bed.

How I got over this? Actually I didn’t, my Lo did when she was able to go a bit longer after the last evening fed. When this happened, she ended up waking one hour later in the night, and she thus pushed this 5:30 waking to 6:30, which is much more convenient and closer to my ideal of starting the day at 7am.

That was my experience, now I have a couple of ideas for you:

1) Regarding the bottle feeding:
Since he is not fond of the bottle, he might be taking less from it than he actually needs to fill his stomach. Do you always try to give the bottle in the evening? My thought is that if you give it in the evening, it could be that he is not tanked enough for the night. Maybe an idea would be to give the bottle at one of his night waking hours. This way if he takes less because it is from the bottle, then he will take less during the night and will be hungrier during the day. Also this way you make sure that you tank him up before

2) Regarding the night wake ups..
Maybe if he could take enough calories at 10pm and not wake up at 11pm, his night schedule will shift a bit, and it will be easier to bear for you

3) Regarding the breast feeding:
Is he taking both breasts at one feed? If yes, maybe one idea would be to leave him  abit longer on one breast before changing to the other ( leave hil 5 min more even if it looks like the breast is empty) this way you make sure that he is taking the all the fat milk that is the last to come. The idea is for you to try to give him most of the calories (read milk) from 7am till 8pm.

4)I assume that you use all the tricks you have in your arsenal to keep him awake during the feed ;-)
-massaging his hands/body
-touching his chin( and under the chin) to motivate him to swallow
-(in extreme cases) use  wet piece of cloth on his face to wake him up
- as soon as you see him drowsy (closing his eyes at the breast) take him out and hold him in a vertical position infront of you, until he is fully awake, then put him back.

I think that the most important is for him to stop snacking and take full feds during the day, and this will hopefully put you and a better/easier track with the sleep also.

As I said, I don’t have much experience, so take from my advice what you think makes sense for you.

I am sure you’ll get tons of other replies on this website.
Lots of luck and be strong!
Angela

[Tobysmum]

Thanks Angela for your advice.  Just FYI, he generally only takes one breast - I leave him on until he's finished.  Quite often he takes enough to last a full 3 hours but also quite often not!  I do produce quite a lot of milk and he's really only taken one breast from the beginning.  I have tried to be more "aware" of what he does today, and it's not good!  He falls asleep after feeds, I think he's using me as a prop sometimes.  I have been giving him the bottle in the day not the evening, so I don't believe the night wakings are because of that.  For example, today I fed him at 7am, then he had one ounce from the bottle at 10am, then I fed him at 11am as he was obviously still hungry, then again at 2.00ish, 5.00, 6.30, and a little at 7.30 and 8.00 - he's asleep now (after sucking on my breast for about 2 mins!)  He'll most likely go through now (I hope) until I dreamfeed him, and probably until 2.30ish. 
His sleeping is just so erratic - no pattern whatsoever!
He's incredibly good and doesn't really cry at all - so I am not tearing my hair out or anything but I need to have some kind of routine, particulaly with regard to when he's going to sleep etc and to try and get him to sleep for a longer stretch at night - and avoid that early morning waking!
I just don't know where to start on the sleeping/napping.