Are we normal? What is normal?

[samijoe]

Ok, so i am exclusively breastfeeding my son X.
Much to my dismay, this dude just won't take a bottle...ive given up for now as it was breaking my heart trying!  He won't drink bmilk in the bottle, formula or otherwise.

Anyways, he does sleep good at night.  I shouldn't be and can't really complain.

But we are at 5mths of age....i cant do a 'proper' df as this wakes him horribly and then our whole night is off.  So i have to wait for him to wake naturally.....

This is what our day looks like:

730 wake, diaper change
745 bf
930-11 nap 1

11 up, dc
1130 bf
1-3 nap 2

3 up , dc
330 bf
5-545  catnap

6 quick bath
645pm last bf of day before bed
715 in crib
730  fast asleep

wakes b/w 1145/1230 for a feed...usually 1210ish

then wakes again around 5/515am and i tend to give just one breast....sometimes two is needed though.

wake at 730am and do it all again.



So that is 6 feeds total.  He has done some pts where 5 feeds is only necessary...but usually we are stuck at 6feeds.

Is this something i will have to live with??
I'm worried that waking for these two feeds perhaps means he won't even need solids at 6mths, iykwim??

I also assume that at 5mths, waking this many times per night to eat is ACCEPTABLE.

He doesn't wake for any other reason except to eat.

Is there something i can do to make these feeds go away?  Or at least one??



sami

[Andrea T]

Hi Sami,

No advice for you, but I'm going to keep an eye on this thread, because we are in a very similar boat!  Only our DS is almost 7 months....I don't really have any problem with doing the night feeds, except that, same as you, I worry that this will make DS think it's acceptable, and so he will carry on doing it.  He has slept through the night in the past, although only if he has an exceptionally great bf-ing day (takes both breasts at a feed) which is rare.

I'd love to hear if anyone has advice!!

Andrea~~

[samijoe]

I'm asking this mostly because by now, my dd1 had completely stopped breastfeeding.  I had supply issues.

But oddly enough, at this age she drank 4-8oz bottles and then nothing all night!  NO df'd nothing.  Yes, it was all formula.

So for me, i just don't really know how long this all lasts.

I do get one night per wk perhaps where i do only feed the one time, but then i lay awake waiting for him to wake!  aRgh.



thx andrea...btw, does your little guy do solids too?
guess we're both hanging in together.


sami

[Andrea T]

Hi Sami -

I definately feel your pain, lol.  Since this is our first baby, I too am not really sure how long this is supposed to last.  And I worry about eventually going back to work etc, and not wanting to be up all night bf-ing!

Our lo is doing solids now, but very little.  I wouldn't say that he gets many calories from them, so I really haven't noticed that this has helped with sleep.  And I find that if he does eat some solids, sometimes then he doesn't bf as much during the day (even though I bf first) and then sleep at night is even worse!

Yes, definately hang in there!  Hopefully someone will be along soon with some great advice for us!

Andrea

[clh]

Short answer:  Yes, you're normal.  There's a wide range of normal, and I'd say you're in it. 

I'm not sure what you mean by not needing solids at 6 months, though.  Would you explain?  Intro to solids is just about letting them experience new tastes & textures & about letting them learn how *eating* (as opposed to sucking) works.  It takes different muscle movements, so they have to practice.  It's not really for calories or filling them up at first.

Yes, that many wakings is acceptable... well, not unusual, anyway.  Here, we had 1-2 nw until the boys were each 6 months.  Then my ped said "He does NOT need a night feed," which made me feel better about dropping those.    We probably could've done it sooner, but *I* wasn't ready.    Anyway, we did it by sending dh in to settle.  If he could, great.  If not, I'd go in to feed.  Soon, they got tired of waking for not-a-sure-thing. 

We never did a df.  Neither of my boys needed it when we weaned them from the night feeds.  Can't tell you any more on that front.  

[samijoe]

Sorry, i know solids won't help the situation.  They aren't meant to help them sleep thru etc.
What i meant was....i dont want things to get worse then, iykwim?

So, all you did to drop them was send hubby in?
Did he do pu/pd or just try to resettle?

Then, during the day they learned to take bigger feeds??

I'm intrigued Candice, lol


sami

[clh]

Honesty time.  I don't know that we're very BW when it comes to pupd, wiwo, etc.  Dh has never read BW (or any other parenting book, but that's a rant for another time ), but he does understand a bit about ot & not jostling them awake when you're trying to put them down & such.  I really don't know what he did; I tried to sleep!    I would guess "resettle" since he didn't know pu/pd! 

But yes, I sent dh.  I didn't want the boys to be able to smell me and to automatically think they'd get a feed.  (I'd always give in so I could get some sleep in the recliner while they snacked at the boob.  )  It had gotten to be a habit rather than a real feed, so I didn't feel too bad about taking it away.  That's related to another of your questions...  I think they had shifted most of their calories to daytime already.  Our night feedings toward the end were not *really* feeds, iykwim.  I didn't get off totally free.  Sometimes they (especially J) really did need a feed for whatever reason, and I'd take those.  I was stern with myself that I would go back to bed when the feed was over. 

I hope something in this helps... 

[Erin M]

Can you get away with doing just one side at that first night feeding?  How does he do then?  When I wanted to start pushing dd2 for longer stretches at night, I would either try to just feed her from one side and see how she did.  Alternately, I would give myself a set amount of time (say 10 minutes or so) and try to resettle her without feeding -- then if that didn't work I would generally feed her -- or if she would settle and be up 15 minutes later again, then I would generally feed her.  By giving myself a set amount of time, I didn't feel like I was doomed to be up for half the night trying to get her back to sleep.  My dh was largely useless at night, so I usually did things myself.  My dd1, I was very successful trying to resettle for a short while -- dd2 made me work for it more.  She was one that didn't do well with the df, but I was able to get rid of the early evening feed around 7 months by just resettling her -- the early AM feed stuck around until about a year, but that's another story all together

[clh]

Oooo.  Thanks, Erin.  I tried some of those same things when I did end up feeding.  (& I need to remember to tell dh "thanks" again.  )

I also meant to say that I only tackled getting rid of one at a time.  I'd automatically feed the other nw until the one we were working on went away.

[samijoe]

which is ideally the first one to go?

the dreamfeed-ish one....

or the early morning?


the early morning one he seems ok with just one side.....




thx for the help ladies


sami

[SallyDom]

Hi girls,

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you; Zac is 7 months on Saturday (his birthday is 14th November, is that when your lo was born Andrea, I noticed from your ticker), anyway he is still having 1 or 2 nf, as well as a df and I am just getting myself prepared to stop these feeds. For the last 2 mornings he's woken only 2 hours after the previous feed so my dh has gone in and resettled him, well it worked on Wednesday morning, this morning he woke at 5am and we gave up at 6.15 and I got up with him. I figured he might be hungry after an hour and a quarter or screaming!

I think the main problem with Zac is that he fights sleep. He'll only sleep in his pram during the day, sometimes he'll fall asleep on his own but often I rock him. He never sleeps for very long. We've done a bath/bed routine since he was tiny but it's been a struggle, he always falls a sleep feeding so sometimes wakes and screams cos he doesn't know where I've gone. Anyway as I said I'm ready to sort things out now.

Have any of you tried/thought about trying to give water ni the night instead of milk. It's been suggested to us but I didn't know if it was better to just try and resettle Zac instead of introducing something else that may need to be weaned?

Sally
x

[Andrea T]

Hi Sally~

Close, our lo was born November 18th, very close to your little guy!  I'm glad I'm not the only one with a 7 month old still feeding through the night, it's comforting to know I'm not alone!

That's a very good question about the water.  I'm really not sure about it, and it was also recommended to us to try.  But I've also heard that a lot of water isn't good for babies, is that true??

Sami ~  I'm also interested to know which feed I should work on dropping first.  I'm guessing the night-time ones, and then the df?  What do you think?  I guess it's a bit different for you, since you said you have to wait until your lo wakes before you can do the df, so it sounds like the df is a bit of a pain for you (or it would be for me at least, if I had to wait around for lo to wake up!)

Well, tonight I'm going to try what Erin said: I'm going to try to give myself a time limit before I feed DS (like 10 minutes) and see if I can settle him w/o feeding.  We'll see how it goes!

Andrea~

[samijoe]

andrea

i always try to resettle at night...for a good 10/15mins.  im sure ds just knows it's what ive got.  dh and i discussed things and we will get him to try.  i just don't like to ruin his work week with sleep-probs.  lol

ps--i don't wait around for him to wake.  i just go to bed.  some nights he doesn't wake and others he does.



sami

[duduindapupu]

Hi,
my LO is 5 months and we're currently on a 3.5hr EASY schedule which I'm about to slowly increase to 4hrs.  My LO has 6 feeds during the day (including a dreamfeed) and then wakes on her own after about 6 to 7 hours (4:30 to 5:30am) for an early morning feed which I think is totally normal.  Our schedule looks like this (I've found seeing others schedules has helped me tweak mine, so this might help you):
7am wake and feed
7-8:45 Awake
8:45 nap
10:30 feed
12:00 nap
2pm Feed
3:30 Nap to 4:30
5:15 feed
7:00 feed and bed
10:30 DF
My LO has about an hour nap in the morning, about 1 1/2 hours around lunch time and 1 hour in the afternoon.  She is sleeping well at night with only the early morning feed at around 4:30-5:30am after the DF.  Maybe if you could squeeze in a feed during the day than your LO might have enough calories to be able to drop one of the late night feeds?
Hope this helps.
georgie