Nap problems......Please Help if you can!!!!!

[lamb0011]

My daughter is 22 weeks old, but she was 10 weeks premature, so she is 12 weeks corrected age. The doctor has her on a four hour feeding schedule, so we are doing the 4 hour EASY. She sleeps really well at night, but her naps don't go well. We have been trying to help teach her how to get to sleep on her own for about a week and a half, but I am getting extremely frustrated.

Her schedule is something like this:

7:00 - Wake/Feed
8:30 - 1/2 hour Wind Down - massage or quiet play in a dark room, story, cuddle
9:00 - nap (not usually successful - I will explain below)
11:00 - Wake/Feed
12:30 - 1/2 hour wind down, story, cuddle
1:00 - Nap (not usually succesful - See below)
3:00 - Wake/Feed
5:00 - 1/2 hour Cat Nap (would like it to be longer but she always wakes up)
7:00 - Feed
7:30 - Bath
8:00 - PJ's/Story/Cuddle
8:30 - Bed time
11:00 - dream feed
5:00 - Wake, but keep going into her room to settle her back to sleep, which she does off and on till around 7:00.

This is how a typical nap goes. We put her in her sleep sack, read a story and have a cuddle, after which she is very drowsy. She is usually not completely asleep when I put her into her crib. She falls asleep no problem with her soother. Usually 40 mins into the nap, but sometimes at 30 mins or 45 mins, she wakes, fusses, gets frustrated, does a few mantra cries, and usually escalates to real crying, at which point we go in a replace the soother, put a hand on her tummy and rub her head to settle her down. Sometimes works, but most often, as soon as she is almost asleep, her legs spring up, her arms jerk and then she is awake again OR her soother falls out and she wakes looking for it. Also replacing the soother sometimes turns into a fight as her hands automatically go to her face and pulls it out even though she really wants/needs it. I usuallly stay there trying over and over to get her settled for over an hour, at which time it is time for her next feed. We almost never have to pick her up to get her to stop crying, and the shush pat doesn't seem to work for her. I tried w2s put I just ended up in the same boat as if she woke up on her own.

Do you think she is too young to sleep train, or does anyone have any tips that might help. Should she be going to bed earlier / should we be weaning the soother (she just found her thumbs, but is not yet coordinated enough to keep it in her mouth for very long) / Is she too young to be awake for 2 hours at a time...I know long naps are best for her, but I am getting EXTREMELY frustrated.

I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me.

Thanks
Liz

[ammie32]

Hi Liz... It seems that all of our 4 mos old babies are short nappers (I know mine is!)!!!  I have tried several things like W2S and fiddling with the A time, etc.  But I also recently weaned his paci and he is all done except the occasional EW and I will give it to him if he thinks it's time to get up in the morning and I disagree:)

Since weaning the paci he did have an 1 1/2 afternoon nap for the first time yesterday.  Of course the am nap was 45 min but I was so pleased that he slept that long in the afternoon!  He never made a peep at the usual 45 min waking time!!! 

But again this morning another short nap.  He is down now for his afternoon nap and my fingers are crossed for another long one. 

I am starting to wonder if it's just something that is gradual and as they get a bit older they sleep longer???  I have had little success with intervening to get him to extend so I am truly hoping that as he gets on in age a bit his naps will naturally extend!  I also started giving him a small blankie with the silk edging to suck on while we wind down.  That has been a good supplement for the paci. 

Good luck and sleepy vibes your way!

[lamb0011]

How long did it take you to get your LO off the soother? Was it really difficult? I am wondering if we need to go down that road. It seems to be helping your situation? I was hoping that as soon as she found her thumb, she would soother herself back to sleep, but she just isn't coordinated enough yet!

[ammie32]

Well I did it gradually not cold turkey like many others!  I started with the night and worked my way to naps.  He was definitely not happy and there were times when I almost caved and gave it to him.  But I am trying to get him to also thumbsuck or use a lovey.  He seems ok with it but I know that the paci was a great deal faster in soothing him!!!

You might want to just give it to her for sleep only to start if you give it to her other times during the day.  I used to give it to him when he started fussing, in the car, out in public... etc!!!  If she can't get her fingers yet then I would say wait a bit because the only ways that babies really self soothe is to cry and suck.  And when they are a bit older they may use a lovey.  But now if she can't get her fingers or thumb you might want to just take weaning her off the paci slowly. 

The only way you will know is to try!  She may surprise you!  Let me know what you decide and how it goes.  Good luck!

Ammie

[marensmama]

She is definitely not too young to sleep train!!  With the BW methods, recommended  A times go by the adjusted age.  So in essence, your LO should have 1hr 20-30 minutes A time.  By your routine, I think she must be OT hence the difficulty settling.  I'd start your wind-down much earlier and have her in bed for naps 80-90 minutes after she woke up last.  I'd also move her bedtime up earlier and aim for a 12 hr night (so if she's up at 7 am, then down for 7 pm).  That last A time is almost 2x as long as it should be.

Paci addiction can be a problem, but that normally occurs at 4-5 months when they can't transition between sleep cycles without it and have multiple wakings to replug (or so I've read, DD1 was a thumbsucker, DD2 is not a sucky babe, so I've never had paci issues.)

Let me know how it goes!

[marensmama]

Oh, and why does your dr recommend a 4 hr feeding schedule?  Is your LO FF or BF?

[lamb0011]

She is FF, as she has a severe Milk Protein Allergy. She is on a formula that causes major constipation (and a SEVERE hole in her mom n' dad's wallet!!!!!), which, at first I thought might be her problems in settling down, but, after several months, we finally have the constipation issues worked out. YAY!!!

I think the Dr. just has her on a 4 hour schedule because she is gaining weight at such a great rate, that he feels she can handle it. I can't remember the last time she was hungry between feeds, so I guess the 4 hour feeding works for her.

If I was to reduce her awake time and put her down for her nap earlier, does that mean that I would feed her when she wakes from her nap or still at the 4 hour intervals? At what point should she be able to increase her A time to 2 hours?

You are probably right about the evening A time and the bed time, we are going to start tweaking those starting tomorrow.  Should we be changing the bed time gradually, or just switch it all at once.

Once more question (can you tell I am a first time mom?). Do most people do the bed time bottle before or after the give the bath in the evening?

Thanks for your advice.
Liz

[lamb0011]

Marensmama - You may be a miracle worker!!!! I took your advice and shortened Abbey's A time starting yesterday. She slept for 2 full hours. For her morning nap, both today and yesterday, she did wake after 55 mins and needed me to replace soother and gently hold her arms still while she fell back to sleep (the twitches and jerks get her every time!!!); for her pm nap yesterday, I put her down after 1 hour and 1/2 and she played quietly in her crib for 1/2 hour then fell asleep for 2 full hours with no intervention from me. Hoping that this continues and that this pm nap is as good as yesterdays!

We tried an earlier bed time yesterday, and it was o.k., but she did wake a few times in the night and needed some help settling back down, which is unusual for her, but will try the earlier bed time a few more times to see if it works for her.

The only problem I have with all of this is that I feel like I don't get to see her very much, as it feels like she is always sleeping. I think it is harder because even though she is developmentally only 12 weeks corrected age, she has been around for 5 months and I expect her to be doing a lot more than she is ready for....I guess you have to be paitent with the little preemies!

Thanks for all your help!!!
Liz

[marensmama]

Wow! That's great news!!  My twin niece and nephew were 8 weeks early and they seemed to be newborns forever, so I know what you mean about being patient with preemies.

If she continues to wake at night after a week of the new routine, you could try giving her more A time in small (10 minute) increments and see if that helps, as long as she doesn't go back to short naps and difficulty settling.

Keep me posted!