Can't seem to extend the 3hr routine

[Grace's Mom]

Nope, I don't think you are selfish for wanting Y time....we NEED it big time in order to stay sane 
I understand.

My dd only needs about 1-1.5 hours of sleep from 6:30/7am-7:30pm so Y time is very limited....plus I am at work during naps every day and come home just upon waking most days.
I just am thankful for free evenings and the fact that I can leave her in her crib and after nap for up to 30 min. if I have the time.   

If she's in bed at 6:15/6:45 a 5am(ish) waking up is really normal.
My dd's never needed 12 hours at night, except those new born months when she slept 20 hours a day....that's when I had an angel baby, then at 3 months my angle turned spirited and i can't get enough of her, everything is definitely interesting each day and she's such a joy...no complaints (most days LOL)

Sleep cycles can be different for every baby
If you are concerned and she is still only sleeping 1 hr. 15 min. after 3 hours of A time in a few days (wait a few days before making this decision), then maybe up her A time 5-10 extra minutes and see if that helps
But, she may only need 1 hr. 15 min. That is honestly a normal length nap.

Cold Turkey: She did that for the first year.  Moving to one nap took a nice long time and she didn't transition until 17 months, which I was fine with.  It was just the hardest transition and drove me bonkers at times LOL

[mumofalice]

Hi Melissa

Hope you're having a good weekend.

Can't believe I was complaining about the lack of Y time - especially to someone who gets very limited Y time herself 

I think I was just so tired last week with all the EW - and I too am thankful that I can put my LO to bed in the evening (and other than going to her for a DF) she will stay there happily til the morning . . . and sometimes for half an hour after she has woken (even tho I am just laid in bed listening to her chat on the monitor!!)

I have been keeping a 'log' of our days since we last posted and TBH things are not that bad - would love you to have a look at it if you have the time and see what you think - but I won't be offended if you say no. Can you open Excel files?

The 3 hours of A time must have been a bit of a fluke - seems to be more like 2 hrs 15 mins to 2 hrs 30 mins - tho sometimes DD shows clear tired cues beforehand and therefore I've put her down a bit early . . .  only to end up with a dreaded 45 min nap - which don't do either of us any favours LOL!

Didn't think that a nap of 1 hr 15 mins was a normal length - I always thought that 90 mins (2 x 45 min sleep cycles) was the way forward 

Was thinking to myself today as I spent half an hour sh/patting my LO - I was naive enough to think once I'd taught my DD how to self-soothe all those months ago (hours and hours of sh/pat with tears from both of us!) that she wouldn't need my help again - bless her touchy little bones. Still don't know where she gets her super-sensitive side from - certainly not me LOL 

Can't imagine that the transition to one nap drove you bonkers - you are way too calm for anything to bother you 

[mumofalice]

Hello again!

Thanks for the PM - I sent you Alice's routine 'log' last night. I'd been feeling quite positive as the past few days the EWs had improved and I seemed to be able to get the A time right to get decent naps too . . . however I said to DH last night (after a rubbish nap early afternoon when I couldn't settle or calm my LO) that it wouldn't surprise me if we had an EW this morning as DD would end up going to bed early . . . didn't realise I knew her so well - it was 5am this morning, the earliest yet!! I left her in her cot until 5.45am (counted as A time) in the hope that she might drift off, but it didn't happen and I just ended up feeling guilty for leaving her for so long. Wouldn't mind, but the whole time she is chatting, I was awake listening to her . . . then I start to wonder if I should have just got up and spent the time with her - nobody tells you that your guilt levels go thru the roof once you become a Mum  - and I am one of those people who feels guilty about everything anyway LOL!

The thing that is bugging me about yesterday (which I think contributed to the EW) is that I knew when I put her down for that 2nd nap that she hadn't had quite as much A time and I said to DH that if I put her down early she only naps for 45 mins . . . but she was in meltdown (without any cues) and went to sleep quite quickly so I thought she must have been ready for the nap. Also . . . I could see she was still tired when she did wake (ear pulling, eye rubbing, sucking of thumb and comforter, etc) but she just couldn't settle - even tho I was trying to help her.

Anyway, I'm rambling as usual - just wanted to update you on a ridiculously EW 

[mumofalice]

Me again . . . apologies for 'stalking' you but just when I thought it was starting to make sense we've had an awful day - starting with the EW mentioned on my PP.

Just wanted to post what happened so that you could compare with the previous days - and give me any pointers as to where I might be going wrong as I've spent, what feels like, most of the day trying to calm an inconsolable LO 

wake at 5.00
left in cot chatting

E  BF at 5.45
A
E Solids at 6.50
A no tired cues - wind down at 7.50 (tired cues during story)
S 8.00 to 9.20

E BF at 9.35
A
E Solids at 10.35
A no tired cues - wind down at 11.20 (tired cues during story)
S 11.35 to 12.15 . . . 12.20 sh/pat for 20 mins - managed to settle & get her to sleep - woke when I got up to leave the room

journey to baby sign class (may have napped in car seat)

E BF at 1.35 (not very interested as in middle of class)
A
S Asleep in car seat on journey home (2.45 to 3.15 at the most) Tried to transfer her to cot when I got home. Serious meltdown - tried to calm her for 30 mins

E BF at 3.45
A no tired cues - story time at 4.30 (tired cues during story)
S 4.40 put her down in her cot - started to cry when I left her room, followed by 20 mins of screaming - couldn't settle her again

decided to skip catnap and go for earlier bedtime


A Bath at 5.10
E BF at 5.30
A Bedtime story (tired cues during story)
S Put her down at 5.55 - started to cry when I walked out of the room again (think she's starting to suffer with SA) - she only cried for a minute and then talked herself to sleep by 6.05.

I'm not really happy with the early bedtime as it may contribute to yet another EW tomorrow BUT also I was worried that I was going to end up with an extremely OT baby as that's what seemed to be happening as the day went on.

Sorry to bother you again . . . but just needed to offload (feel quite tearful myself after having such an upset LO today  ) - would love to hear your words of wisdom when you get a chance.

TIA Berni x

[Grace's Mom]

When she woke up at 12:15, what was she doing?

What I can see is that due to a ton of small naps she was really overtired by the end of the day thus making it hard for her to settle.

1st A time was 3 hours
2nd A time was just a hair over 2 hours.
Maybe she needed more A time that 2nd go round as she only slept for 40 minutes, espcially since she didn't have real tired cues until story time.  Because it was story time it may have clicked in her body that it's nap time so her body started to react and started to act tired.

30=OT
45 = in need of more A time.

Of course the way she woke up could help determine is she needed more A time or not.

 

[mumofalice]

Hi Melissa

Thanks for responding so quickly - you're a true star 

Was just on my way to bed and thought I'd just have a quick check - think I might be starting to become an addict!

She was crying at 12.15, therefore I tried to settle her - and whilst I was trying she was pulling her ears and rubbing her eyes - she rubs her eyes so hard sometimes that I think she's going to hurt herself.

Am still not sure that she can handle 3 hours of A time - I'd worked out over the past few days that she can do 2.5 hrs and then we go to her room and do a bit of story time before bed - so a total of 2.75 hrs. However, sometimes she just seems to be so engrossed in what she's doing that I do wonder if she has 'forgotten' to get tired iykwim. The reason I kept the 2nd A time a bit short was because she'd had a long first A time and I was hoping to catch the OT monster before it reared it's ugly head. Obviously it didn't work . . . hopefully I did the right thing by putting her to bed a bit earlier. She cried out at 7.50 pm tonight (just one cry) and then woke just before her DF - was just heating it up when I heard her. She went right back to sleep afterwards - which is the norm for her really.

Interesting point about her body acting tired because we were having story time - hadn't crossed my mind that could happen . . . in fact I thought I was getting the timing right as we were getting the eye rubs and yawns towards the end of wind down (story time) and she was going off to sleep within a few minutes of being put down (on our good days  )

Tomorrow is another day . . . fingers crossed for less tears from DD and from me 

Good night (or is it good day where you are?)

[Grace's Mom]

You are right...you could have hit story time just right!
Sometimes they don't show sleepy signs...mine did for a bit and then they went away and I had to go more by the clock then cues, iykwim.

Maybe yesterday was just a funky day.
If you don't think she's ready for 3 hours yet, that's fine! 
I was just looking at the 2 hour A time...I think about 15-30 more min. would have done the trick.

How are things going thus far.

[mumofalice]

Hi there - thanks for checking in on me 

Have to say today was a much better day - slightly off routine due to a trip to soft play with friends and their LOs - but all in all I had a very happy girl. Think yesterday was bad due to teething and I hadn't realised (bad Mum!) - as 2nd bottom tooth had finally cut thru the gum this morning after threatening for a week or so!

So here's how today has gone . . . (note the 4 hrs of A time whilst at soft play - and I think she can't handle 3 hrs when she's at home!! - that's why I think when she's engrossed in something she forgets to be tired LOL!)

wake at 5.35
left in cot chatting
(shouting at 6.00 - on tummy!)

E BF at 6.00
A
E Solids at 7.00
A irritable and yawning at 7.50
   wind down at 7.55
S 8.05 to 9.40

E BF at 9.55
A
E Solids at 11.30 (she ate loads today - finally go the hang of BLW - and loved every minute of it  )
A very busy at soft play - no tired signs as too much going on
S 2.05 to 2.30 (in car seat)

Woke when transferring to cot - quite upset and as BF was due around 2 thought she may well be hungry or thirsty

E BF at 2.30
A
E Solids at 3.15 (some tired cues during food)
A 3.30 low key activity in her room followed by story time (clear tired cues)
S 3.40 to 4.30

E BF at 4.35
A Bath
E Top up BF at 5.20
A Bedtime story (very clear tired cues!)
S Put her down at 5.50 (another early one due to little naps) - lots of chatting before she slept (6.30-ish)

DF at 10.05

It's not a 'perfect' day (but then I don't think I ever have those LOL!) but I've had a happy LO today and that's what matters 

Hope you've had or are having a good day. Berni x

[Grace's Mom]

Glad today went better and good for you for getting and having some fun with friends.
That's wonderful.

Off to Costco with my sick monkey...poor thing slept for 2 hours this afternoon.