she just won't sleep help!!!!!!

[trixilou]

My daughter is now 11 months old and she just won't sleep, she will only sheep for 20 mins max twice a day and is constantly waking at night, she will not sleep in her cot no matter how hard I have tried. I have tried controlled crying and I have tried gradual retreat but nothing seems to work, the only place that she will sleep is in a bed, it doesn't matter what bed, who's it is where it is or if anyone is in it but obviously is not safe as now she is crawling and pulling herself up on things and nearly walking, I am having to live on 3hrs sleep a night and have done since she was 3 months old, at 3 months she was admitted into hospital with gastric reflux and was really quite poorly with it, about 4 weeks before she went into hospital she cried non stop and wouldn't feed and did't sleep because she was in so much pain and so hungry and since then she hasn't been the sane, myself and my partner are at our wits end and we really don't know what more we can do. she is in a bed time routine and has been in the same routine since she was 3 weeks old but it doesn't seem to make much difference but I still carry on with it because it seems the right thing to do.
  Please can anybody offer me some advice because I really don't know what more I can do. Thanks

[deb]

Right now you might be dealing with separation anxiety, you might be dealing with teething, and it's possible that you're still dealing with reflux. Was the reflux treated? If so, with what, and is she still being treated?

You might also consider giving her some pain meds 20 minutes or so before sleep time and see if it makes a difference.

Would she sleep on her floor on a mattress? Then if she rolled out it wouldn't be a big deal (even less if she'd sleep on a futon mattress), and you could always put a gate up at her door. You could even maybe put her crib mattress in a corner of her room so only two sides would even be open.

What solids is she taking? Might there be a food allergy or intolerance?

Does she have a lovey, something she uses for comfort? A blanket or stuffed toy?

[trixilou]

Haven't tried putting the mattress on the floor but I could give it a go, he reflux is being treated with a tablet that I have to disolve in water and she has gaviscon in each of her bottles, he food intake is not a great lot really she is very independant and won't let me feed her she has to have food that she can hold herself and feed herself which is good but annoying at times as my health visitor has said she is a little under weight but again that all started when she develped reflux, I don't know if its seperation anxiety as she goes to nursery fine and has no problem with me leaving her with others, teething could be an issue as she has just broke through 2 more teeth but she wouldn't have been teething constantly all this time. as she only has 4 teeth. I will try putting the mattress on the floor and see how she goes, thank you

[stagemanager2]

hugs... it sounds so tiresome!

What does your dayly routine look like?  If you could post it EAS style we can see if she is ready for the 2-1 nap switch.  But with the way her sleep is so short both naps and night I would assume she is very OT and you could both do with some rest before dealing with the problem head on.  Try anyway you can to get her to sleep.  Any AP you can, whatever she needs to let you sleep and get her OT diminished would help the situation greatly.

When did you do cc?  Could it be that she has lost trust in you and thus needs constant reassurence that you will be there?  Have you ever slept in the same bed with her to see if that helps her get through the night?

Tracy did not advocate these methods because she believed that CIO and CC was something that destroyed the trust a child has with the parent.  It takes months to regain that trust and it's hard but fear of a crib is something that comes from cc and cio.... Could this be what is happening?  Combine this with SA and that might be what is happening.

Although having her sleep on the ground on the mattress is a good solution for now you might want to think about what will happen when you want to get her to sleep in a bed.  Tracy also believed that you should start as you mean to go on and having a child sleep in the safty of a crib is something that will put your mind at ease... If you started co sleeping with her and then moved her to the crib too quickly she may be over anxious about sleeping there.

HUGS hun, It sounds like you have been having a rough time and I think right now is the time to get as much sleep as you can.  Do you have family or friends who could take her for a bit while you rest for the day?  It seems we can always deal with more when we have had a good rest...