20 month old not wanting to nap or go to bed???

[lin7604]

this is a weird behavior he is displaying lately.  He normally naps 12:30-2:30 and bed at 8-8:30 max and up 6:30-7.  lately he is fussing, crying, jumping, talking anything once we put him down for a nap or bed.  The last 2 days have been worse, he took 45 min before he settled down for nap, so then he didn't get a full nap as i had to wake him at 3.  If he sleeps past 3 he doesn't want to go to bed till late!  He then is cranky and whine all afternoon bc he didn't get a full nap and was woken up! Bed was the same 45 min the night before didn't fall asleep till 9:15pm and last night i put him down at 8:05 and he finally fell asleep at 9:10.... what's up??  As soon as we leave the room he will start to talk, then a few min later get upset.  When i go in he says "done"  i say no we are not all done it's nap time.  i re tuck him in , etc  sometimes he is kicking his crib so hard talking so loud i have to go in and tell him to 'shush".... but then he's back to it once i leave or a few short Min's later...

[RyansMum]

Perhaps his nap is too long?  I was the same as you, knew there was a time to not go past else it would be hell at bedtime!  My son at that age used to sleep for between 1hr and 1.5hr normally between 1 and 2.30pm. Perhaps push his nap back by a half hour to 1 and wake him by 2.30pm?  If he is cranky (which sometimes my son was) I used to stay close, stroke, talk gently then perhaps have a story or something in his room as a gentle wake up.

This is what I would do anyway, hth!

[Maia&Lia]

I could have written your post! Actually, that's not entirely true since we've now been dealing with this for about 6 weeks. Initially I thought she was having trouble because she was getting her molars...but they've since cut the gums and we're still having a terrible time with bedtime. I'm so curious to know what others will suggest because in our case, changing nap time or bedtime hasn't proved to be beneficial. I'm going to keep checking back on this thread to see if you've made any progress or gotten any suggestions...and in the meantime find my babywhisperer books to look into what we should be doing differently.

Best of luck!

[lin7604]

i thought of puching his nap back but i find then i have to wake him up adn he's super grouchy!  SOme days he will fall right to sleep and others not so much?   He is also staring daycare this sept adn nap is 12:30 there so he won't be able to push it back then and i know he won't sleep as well there either so we will have sonme early nights i think.  Today i put him down at 12:30 he was tired at 12 yawned and rubbed his eye so i thought he will be good for his normal nap, maybe i should of tried earlier but he didn't wake up till 7 from his normal 6:30 so it's the same amount of A time.  He talked and jumped saying"done", i went in 2times and then that was it after, he only slept 1hr 15 min!  Then again at bedtime i put him down at 6hr A time as normal and i had to go in again as he was jumping saying "done, done"!  I went in with a firm voice and told him "no you are not done, it's bedtime and i will see you in the morning".  That was it, i covered him up with his blanket and walked out, i heard 2 words and nothing since.  I just find it weird with this " done, done" thing he is doing.

I do agree that i think he should not nap past 2:30 actually to give him enought A time before bed so it's not too late but on the days he naps later or sleeps longer ( normal nap) then i have to wake him and deal with a grouchy boy!  hubby lookeda t me yesterday when we were dealing with his attitude and said "see you should of just let him sleep" but then he would of been in bed at 10pm!

[RyansMum]

I did find it didn't matter that the routine at daycare/nursery was different Ryan just adapted to their way of doing things and then did our way at home. So I wouldn't worry about that. 

I don't think only 1hr and 15 is a bad nap at this age to be honest.  My son did battle me at nap times before he natuarlly dropped them, it would take him ages and some of me going in before he would fall asleep, which is why I suggested pushing it back so that he is really tired.

[lin7604]

see i agree but then i am always worried that he is going to be OT and sleep as lonh b/c of that  OR he will have to be woken anD be super grouchy ALL DAY!    I think on the days he does sleep till 7am i will push it back till 1pm and on the days he's up around 6:30 i'll keep it 12:30.  we will see.  I just have read so much that say to keep it the same no matter what time they wake up.  Just have a set routine with set times and that's it.....

[RyansMum]

I think as they get older flexibility comes more and more to the fore. Ryans nap would vary between 1/2 hr and yes he could and would sometimes wake up cranky but he wouldn't stay that way for the rest of the day and I never changed his bedtime.

Anyways just basing it on what I have done and what worked for me, you can but try! 

Let us know how you get on!

[lin7604]

thanks.  Today he wonke at 6:30 and was tired by 10am!  I kept him up till noon ( so much for reg nao time at 12:30) and then put him down, not a peep, slept 1.5hrs.  He woke up crying again??? He woudn't rest anymore just jumping up and down in his bed saying " done"!   SO i will still go for a 8pm bedtime and see what happens 2morrow am. 

I do agree he is becoming more flexable. He has never been a child to show tired signs well until it's too late! way too late and then it's a 6am wake up time!  That's why i worry....  if he has a 1.5 hr nap it's ok but if he has a 2 hr nap (which isn't daily) it's a way better afternoon.. I have to say if yours wakes up grumpy but gets happy you are lucky unfornately mine stays grumpy ALL DAY!!!!:(

[RyansMum]

Ah sadly no longer napping here, dropped that at the 2.5 year old mark!

When you put him down at 8 does he get up at 6.30? I only ask cos sometimes if Ryan does actually have a kip nowadays it is late in the day so he goes to bed later. However, it is rare that he sleeps past his normal wake up time. So what I am wondering with your guy going to bed at 8 is that he is actually overtired and then is a bit wired and wakes up earlier than he should? Just thinking outloud here cos I am sure this is a factor sometimes with Ryans early wake up times.

[lin7604]

yes that is what i always think and try to figure out a schedule for him.  Normally he's up at 6:30 nap 2hrs and then bed at 8 as he will onlt seem to sleep 10-10.5hrs at night max.  He has always been on the lower side of sleep.  So right now i have read they still need 12-14hrs, he get 12-12.5.  If he naps shorter then i put him to bed how ever eariler he didn't nap.  He has always gotten up between 6:30-7 the very latest ever since he was born!  SO eg, tonight i will give him his bath at 7, get ready for bed at 7:30 books, etc and in bed by 7:45 and hopefully in lala land by 8pm.  I find the last month i can put him to bed as early as i want he will still not fall asleep by 8pm no matter what???  The last few nights it was 45-1hr of talking, etc. I try not to go over 6hrs A time.  So if i went by todays schedule i am screwed no matter what cause 6 hr A time is 7:30 and if he sleeps his normal 10-10.5 hrs then i guarrentee he he will be up by 6am. so this is where i get confused to what to do??  if i go by A times then he's up early, if i go by set schedule then he may be OT but not always???

[RyansMum]

Just try and be consistent with your bedtime, sounds like you are being run ragged trying to keep up with each day!  I only ever change Ryans bedtime if its a special occassion or if he has napped very late (and I mean like anytime after 4).  Perhaps if you go over your 6hrs A time the rest of it needs to be calm like books, cuddles, maybe even a little TV, I have found especially after a lot of fun and running around at a park, Ryan really needs that chill on the couch watching some of his favourite programs.

Ryan used to take a while to fall asleep too, as long as he was not distressed or being really riotous I let him be to fall asleep naturally on his own.

So if you LO gets up at 6am today and your normal bedtime is 8 you can probably get away with a longer nap today between 12 and 2.30, if he wakes earlier from his nap than you would expect I would just make the wind down tonight very calm and relaxing, perhaps even having a longer bath, extra story to see how it goes.

Hugs!

[lin7604]

update:  we decided to put him down at 7:30 at 6 hr A time.  he was starting to show tored signs, so we did a bath at 7 and then bookes at 7:20, in bed at 7:30 and not a peep.  He woke up at 6:15 am.  So i will see how nap goes to day, i am aming for 12:15, inbetween. lets see how long he naps for???

[RyansMum]

That sounds like a good nights sleep to me. 

Hope the nap is just as successful!

[lin7604]

well i put him down at 12:15 and he only slept till 1:30???  Every day this week is soo different i don't get it.  one day it's a 2+ hr nap then the next only 1hr 15min???

[RyansMum]

How was he after it and then at bed?  If he was OK I think its fine, don't you find sometimes you need more sleep than other days (though nowadays I always need more sleep )

I think activities in the morning will play a part in how tired they are too.

Hope bedtime was good.