How and when do I start to wean?

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

You're finding it so hard because you want to make sure you do things right   There is nothing wrong with that....but sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and go for it.  I am so glad this thread is so helpful and believe me, in 6 months time you'll look back on this and say "What was I so worried about?"  I know because I was the same way.  Things have worked out just fine.  Offering the milk in a sippy with snacks is a great introduction!!

[NoelleChristine]

Anne is so right...there is nothing wrong with finding it hard, you're just making sure to do it right.

I kinda think it would be a lot easier to wean when you've got a little one wanting the feed on wake up.  If you're feeding to sleep it seems you'd have two issues to deal with if you were trying to wean.  I was really worried about our bedtime feed because of that reason.  If he didn't feed to sleep he was really close.  That's the feed we had to TOTALLY change the routine with because of that.  For us it was THE hardest feed to drop.  Well, almost as we still have one night time feed that I've yet to tackle.  I'm kinda just "hoping" it will go away on it's own.    

It's great she's drinking EBM in a cup!  I only mentioned offering something different if she wasn't drinking the EBM in a sippy.  It's ok that you don't want to offer cows milk yet.  Hold off till a year if that's what you feel you want to do.  That's the thing about BW'ing...we do what's best for us and our lo's.    You do want to make sure that if you do offer cows milk you don't want her to have more than 24 oz in a day (highly unlikely anyway.)  More than that and you can have some issues with iron absorption.  Also make sure you're getting her iron rich foods a couple of times a day, along with a food rich in vitamin C (it helps with iron absorption.)  It's important as you start weaning.  Just passing on what Ive learned recently due to a doctor visit with Gunnar. 

I understand about you finding it hard though.  I knew I wanted to wean, but I was finding it hard to start too.  I would have kept going if I'd had a "guarantee" that G would have self weaned by 18 months or so but I knew I didn't want to go past that and I felt like if I kept going it would have been harder on him at 18 months.  I was talking to my husband about it and I couldn't figure out why I was struggling with this so much emotionally when each time I nursed I felt like...okay...we've done good making it past a year and now I'm ready to stop.  Finally I realized it wasn't just the nursing I was having a hard time with but my baby boy growing up.  We were moving into the next season and I was struggling with letting go of my "baby" and saying hello to my toddler boy.  So...go as slow as you want/need.  It's as much of an emotional adjustment for you as it is for your lo. 

[camys mum]

Hey Ladies,
It's so great to read your responses, nice to hear from other mums who have gone down this path, I don't feel so alone.
Mumofalice, I can totally relate to how you are feeling too, such an odd adjustment period.

I just wanted to write a wee note on where we are at. We are still taking things gradually. Still on the 3 BF's a day (down from 4) and Cameron seems to be fine with this.
I've been offering Cows Milk, each day is really hit or miss though. Some days he'll take an ounce and others 4oz, but never in the one sitting, I do offer the milk with snacks and sometimes if he hasn't drank too much, with meals too. I'm a little paranoid when he doesn't drink as much and I offer a bigger snack, but I feel like the snacks are bordering on full meal size portions.... I just want to make sure he gets all of his nutrients. Still feeling a bit like I don't know what i'm doing.
We start Daycare August 25th and i'm still praying that Cameron will drink a good chunk of milk there. I spoke to the caregivers and they said that have heard of mums who do the 'sippy' cup route instead of a bottle and didn't seem to think it would be a problem........my LO is such a wee mamas boy though, not quite sure how he is going to take to all day feeds being dropped in 2 weeks.
Thanks for listening. 

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

FWIW, ds still doesn't drink a lot in one sitting, so in the morning I give him a straw cup full of milk and he will finish 10 ounces but it takes him an hour.  I didn't really want to have him running all over the house with milk, but it's the only thing that works.  And once he's done, that's it, so he doesn't have it with him all day....just for that first bit in the morning.  Also at night, I'll give him his cup about 15 minutes before starting wind down, so he'll drink a few ounces, we'll do a bath, then get him changed and usually he'll finish the rest.

[mumofalice]

You're finding it so hard because you want to make sure you do things right  

Anne is so right...there is nothing wrong with finding it hard, you're just making sure to do it right.

Thanks ladies - I do want to do this right and make it as 'painless' as possible for my touchy LO!!

....but sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and go for it.  I am so glad this thread is so helpful and believe me, in 6 months time you'll look back on this and say "What was I so worried about?"  I know because I was the same way.  Things have worked out just fine.  Offering the milk in a sippy with snacks is a great introduction!!

Funny thing is I like to think of myself as the sort of person who would just bite the bullet - but think motherhood has turned me into a bit of a ditherer, iykwim?! I look forward to that day when I look back and say 'what was I so worried about?' LOL

I kinda think it would be a lot easier to wean when you've got a little one wanting the feed on wake up.  If you're feeding to sleep it seems you'd have two issues to deal with if you were trying to wean.  

I'd never thought about it being tougher if I was feeding to sleep  At the moment I think I would feel better if I could drop a feed in the day - but I find it so hard as Alice wants to feed within mins of waking. I've started taking her out of her room and distracting her - but the moment I try to put her down she starts crying so hard and I can't not feed her - I know that it's probably me being soft, but that's the bit I find so tough - can't bear to see her so upset especially as I feel like it's me causing the upset, iykwim?

I know that I am ready to stop nursing - I do feel proud of myself for getting this far - but I just don't feel like Alice is ready to stop yet  I had no idea that it was going to be so emotional.

It's so great to read your responses, nice to hear from other mums who have gone down this path, I don't feel so alone.
Mumofalice, I can totally relate to how you are feeling too, such an odd adjustment period.

I second that  Once again I am so grateful that this site is here - it's helped me out a lot over the past year. Want to thank you ladies for holding my hand as it were - I'm the only person in my group of mum friends who is still BF and therefore I don't have anyone to discuss it with, so it's great I can come and talk to you and I know that you understand how I'm feeling 

Camys Mum - does sound like things are going okay with you and your wee man. Know what you mean about your LO being a Mama's boy - Alice is a Mummy's Girl (except when Daddy is around of course  ) and I can't imagine how she is going to cope with a childminder and the lack of Mum's milk!! Apparently we worry about it much more than the LOs do - that's what everyone keeps telling me anyway 

Have a good weekend 

[camys mum]

Thanks Romans mom, That's really great to know, I was fretting a wee bit about the one sitting, but i'm really very happy if Cameron takes it over a period of time, nice to hear that's how things have been working for you too. 

Mum of Alice, I think we might be living parallel lives! Our babies were born a day apart and we both have 'touchy' babies, have gone the BLW route and are tackling weaning at the same time. I've been very grateful to read your posts, knowing that i'm not the only one going through this! I'm quite happy to have gotten to the year mark with breast feeding too, but with my mat leave ending and I feel like i'm ready, i'm happy to start the weaning process, seems like we are in the same boat! I just wanted to say thanks (to you all too!) for sharing!

Today was a little rough for us. Cameron has gotten the sniffles and looks like he is fighting the cold, he is also biting at his blanket and a few teeth are popping through. He was very miserable today and pretty upset. So I decided to leave the weaning for a day or so and feed him the extra feed. He Didn't eat his solids at all today (odd for him) so I wanted to make sure he had enough in his little tummy.

I'm panicking a little as daycare is only a couple of weeks away, I guess we will all adjust. But i'm so happy to read about all of your sucess stories, i'll be so relieved when I can help someone through this one day. 

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

Glad we can help   Hope your LO feels better soon!!

[NoelleChristine]

Yeah, it's good to put the changes on pause while our lo's are sick.  Hope all is well otherwise. 

[camys mum]

Hi ladies,
I was wondering if I could ask a couple of questions.
My LO was sick for a couple of days, but now he's eating his solids again and seems much better. He still isn't showing much interest in the Cows milk. Today he pushed it away every time I offered it. Also, for the past two nights, he would normally have 20 minutes before bed, but has reduced this amount to closer to 10 minutes. He did wake up the next day (at 5.30am) starving though. I don't want to reduce the solids as he isn't eating any outstanding amounts. Tonight, I did offer dinner earlier to see if that helped, but he still only took 10 minutes. So i'm not quite sure what is going on. He starts daycare in 3 weeks and i'm just not sure what to do. Can you ladies see anything here that i'm perhaps missing?
; )

[NoelleChristine]

Am I understanding that you're wondering why he may be going from 20 min at bedtime to 10?  You're certain he's not taking in the same amount because he woke hungry at 5:30?  I forget...how old is Cameron?

It's possible he's still not 100% and that might account for the less time at the breast at bedtime.  How are his other feeds?  If you're beginning to wean, it'd not reduce his amount of solids either even though I know you put that on hold for a few days.

When you say you're not sure what to do...what do you mean?  Not sure about how to get him to drink milk?  Not sure about his bedtime feed?  Not sure about continuing weaning?

[camys mum]

Hey Noellechristine, thanks for your reply,

Cameron is 11 months and one week now. Yeah, just the last two nights he has reduced his 20 minute feed to 10 minutes. I gave him a feed at 5.30am and he took 10 minutes. Today he woke at 6.15 and took his usual 10 minutes too.
Thinking about it now, he may not be 100% after his sniffles which he still has. He started eating his usual amounts of solids, so I thought perhaps he was feeling better. Basically, he is being fed 3 times a day, when he gets up mid day and when he goes to bed. I gave him a couple more feeds when he was feeling poorly though.

I guess i'm not sure about how things will play out when he goes to daycare in 2.5 weeks. He isn't drinking too much cows milk. I will BF him in the morning and evening, but not sure how the day milk will go without me there. A friend has said that our LOs will react differently with caregivers and may take the milk from them.
I'm 100% about continuing with the weaning and just wasn't sure why he's taking a wee bit less at night?

; )

[camys mum]

Oh sorry, I should clarify, he has 3 BF a day, but also 3 solids and 2 snacks - didn't want you to think he was only getting 3 bf a day! 

[NoelleChristine]

  It's kinda hard to say why he's taking less.  My first thought is that he's just not 100% himself after being ill.  Don't you just wish these little guys could tell us why they do the the things they do sometimes.      Would make life so much easier.

Oh sorry, I should clarify, he has 3 BF a day, but also 3 solids and 2 snacks - didn't want you to think he was only getting 3 bf a day! 

I had to laugh at that...I didn't/wouldn't have thought your 11 month old was only getting 3 bf a day. 

I guess i'm not sure about how things will play out when he goes to daycare in 2.5 weeks. He isn't drinking too much cows milk. I will BF him in the morning and evening, but not sure how the day milk will go without me there. A friend has said that our LOs will react differently with caregivers and may take the milk from them.

I'm really sorry that I can't put your mind at ease a bit more here.     Nothing I can say is going to tell you what your little Camy's going to do when he starts daycare.  The one thing I can tell you, from my experience as a mother, is that it usually isn't as bad as we think it's going to be. 

Are you planning on keeping the morning and bedtime feed for now?  If so, I don't think you need to worry about how much milk he takes for that mid-day feed.  I think he's probably getting enough milk with just the morning and bedtime feed.  I'm not sure how quickly you're wanting to drop the morning and bedtime feeds but once he gets into a routine a daycare you'll have a better idea with how to continue with the weaning.

My lo has really decreased his milk intake over here over the last few days.  (These little buggers;))  From 6-12 oz's to only about 3 oz today.  I read online that they should be getting at least 16 oz but I'm not too sure about that.  Seems like an a lot to me.  I'm going to post on the solids board and have an ask.  I think I'm going to try Anne's suggestion and give him a straw cup tomorrow.

[mumofalice]

Hi everyone

Mum of Alice, I think we might be living parallel lives! Our babies were born a day apart and we both have 'touchy' babies, have gone the BLW route and are tackling weaning at the same time. I've been very grateful to read your posts, knowing that i'm not the only one going through this! I'm quite happy to have gotten to the year mark with breast feeding too, but with my mat leave ending and I feel like i'm ready, i'm happy to start the weaning process, seems like we are in the same boat! I just wanted to say thanks (to you all too!) for sharing!

This really made me smile  - what a shame we don't live near each other as we could have physically held each other's hands 

TBH I have to admit that I've been in awe of you - as you seemed to be grabbing the bull by the horns as it were with the weaning process - whereas I feel like I'm wimping out a wee bit. Maybe it's because your return to work date is a couple of weeks earlier than mine . . . or maybe cos you're stronger than I am 

Sorry to hear that things have been a bit up and down over the past few days - but it as NoelleChristine said it could be to do with Camy not being very well and maybe he's not quite 100% yet - wish I could offer a bit more help than that 

Don't you just wish these little guys could tell us why they do the the things they do sometimes.     Would make life so much easier.

PMSL - if I had a pound (dollar, whatever!) for every time I've wondered why Alice has changed her 'routine' (be it food, sleep, anything really) then I would be one very rich lady and wouldn't be going back to work at all!!

The one thing I can tell you, from my experience as a mother, is that it usually isn't as bad as we think it's going to be. 

That's not the first time I've heard this - apparently we worry about it much more than our LOs - they just get on with it 

As far as my weaning is going . . . am making a bit of progress, but it's very slow and much harder than I thought  Alice is taking EBM from a sippy cup - and for the past couple of days she's even let me help her with the sippy - she hasn't worked out how to tip it back yet. (As usual tho I am now worried that helping her with the sippy is a step backwards - not sure if I should just let her get on with it and work it out for herself  )

Haven't managed to push that 2nd feed (around 11-11.30 depending on nap time) back yet - but yesterday and today we've managed to miss the late afternoon feed so we have had 3 x BF per day (plus DF - which am hoping will go soon). Yesterday we were out and about in the afternoon and we got stuck in traffic on the way home - DH jumped in the back of the car and gave DD some milk from the sippy. When we got back it was too late to do BF, solids, bath, BF - so we went straight to solids (as she'd taken some milk anyway) and carried on as usual. She ate quite a lot of solids (even more than usual) and took more milk from the sippy.

Today we had to wake her from a nap at 4.00pm as we had to go and visit our 'potential' childminder - didn't have time to BF before we went so put her straight in the sling and took the sippy cup with us. Once again she took milk from the sippy and we followed the same pattern as yesterday - think it's the distraction that helped. Am not sure if I've dropped a BF yet, but am hoping that I'm on track . . . of course am now worried that the gap between the two feeds (late morning & bedtime) is too big - but as she's getting a bit of EBM from the sippy too am hoping that she's still getting enough 

My problem is I worry too much - nobody told me that was one of the 'side effects' of being a Mum!!

Anne - I was looking the other day at all the different cups in our local supermarket (not a specialist shop I know ) but couldn't find one with a straw - which make do you use?

[camys mum]

Hi Ladies!

NoelleChristine,
Thanks for your reply, I just got back from Camys daycare and they pretty much said the same thing as you did! They said they'd try with cows milk, but from experience with other breast fed babies, they wouldn't expect him to take much. They said they will give him cheese and milk in his cereal and plenty of water. I do plan to keep the evening and night feed until he is happily settled, then I will set to wean the other feeds. I too, was wondering about the 16oz per day, I've never really measured how much each breast yields? If your LO is doing the same do you think perhaps it's normal at this age to decrease a little ?
I agree, about trying to keep up with how much these wee ones change!
Mumofalice,
Not stronger at all, Camy going back to daycare in 2.5 weeks which has me on the faster track!
Sounds like you and Alice have been doing great! I really like the use of distraction and Alice is drinking milk from a sippy, how cool is that! Are you going back to work full time? 
I agree about the worrying, I've asked Camys new daycare lots of questions, but oddly enough with only 2.5 weeks to go, I feel very excited that Camy is going to have new friends and a lot more to see and do than he does with me.....i'm sure i'll start to panic more when I leave him though!